What a difficult situation! Our extended family has some experience with Alzheimer's, as well as with ordinary old-age symptoms, and with nutty relatives who won't stop driving. I think that as a group we'll deal with the situation sympathetically, but realistically. My mom is big on facing facts!
As far as my husband and children and I are concerned, we'll be grateful for whatever time, and whatever level of understanding, we have have with Dad. It's funny, I started getting the cold chills about his condition when Johnny Cash died, and now the full impact with President Reagan's death.
Oh, it was terrrible! Not to make it about me, but my husband expected me to care for his messed up dad AND a newborn AND a six year old while he was 600 miles away and I had no car and he was only home on late Fridays-early Sundays.
Here I am trying to be unobtrusive in his dad's home with me and the two kids in one room (little in the crib, biggun in the twin bed, me on the fold-out).
THEN, the landlady's pounces her granddaughter on me to take to the pool everyday. She would show up and eat lunch
with me and the kids and then go to the pool. (Picture me pushing a stroller laden with diaper bag and snacks.)
I'd retire to the cabanas to breast-feed my infant and have hysterical mothers anounce to me that the girl had vanished at the snackbar.
I'd go hunt her down, she would put on lipstick and flirt with the little boys! My baby didn't get a nice meal or a sweet nap all summer.
I skinnied away to nothing and was hysterical.
That and the FIL thing lead to the divorce.