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The Condensed Bill Clinton:Slate reads My Life so you don't have to.
Slate ^ | June 22, 2004 | Bill Clinton. Editor: Bryan Curtis

Posted on 06/23/2004 12:47:12 PM PDT by Polybius

Edited on 06/23/2004 1:21:38 PM PDT by Admin Moderator. [history]

The Condensed Bill Clinton
Slate reads My Life so you don't have to.
By Bryan Curtis, Chris Suellentrop, and Julia Turner
Posted Tuesday, June 22, 2004, at 4:28 PM PT

Want to read Bill Clinton's My Life without turning all 957 turgid pages? We can help! Slate's "Juicy Bits" team has constructed a reader's guide to Clinton's memoir, with handy jumps to Hillary, Chelsea, Ken Starr, Marc Rich, George Stephanopoulos, and Monica Lewinsky.

Clinton as Edward George Bulwer-Lytton

Page 1: The book's inauspicious first line reads, "Early on the morning of August 19, 1946, I was born under a clear sky after a violent summer storm to a widowed mother in the Julia Chester Hospital in Hope, a town of about six thousand in southwest Arkansas, thirty-three miles east of the Texas border at Texarkana."

Clinton on Trannies

Page 8: "New Orleans was an amazing place after [World War II], full of young people, Dixieland music, and over-the-top haunts like the Club My-Oh-My, where men in drag danced and sang as lovely ladies."

Page 187: As a law student, Clinton frequented New Haven's Elm Street Diner. "One night, a tall black transvestite sat down across from me and said his social club wanted to raffle off a television to make money; he wanted to know if the raffle would run afoul of the law against gambling." In exchange for giving advice, Clinton received a free raffle ticket "with the name of the social club on it in bold print: The Black Uniques."

Clinton on Sex

Page 76: "[The priest] asked me if I had ever considered becoming a Jesuit. I laughed and replied, 'Don't I have to become a Catholic first?' ... I told him I was a Baptist and said, only half in jest, that I didn't think I could keep the vow of celibacy even if I were Catholic."

Page 166: While in Amsterdam, Clinton declines to visit a prostitute.

Page 197: "I was so exhausted I fell asleep while the stripper was dancing and the goat head was looking up at me." Look it up for yourself.

Page 272: "[Hillary and I] badly wanted to have a child and had been trying for some time without success. In the summer of 1979, we decided to make an appointment with a fertility expert in San Francisco as soon as we got back from a short vacation in Bermuda, but we had a wonderful time, so wonderful we never made it to San Francisco. Soon after we got home, Hillary found out she was pregnant."

Clinton's Home Life

Page 2: Clinton has at least two half-siblings other than Roger Clinton. His father had a son, Leon Ritzenthaler, by another woman and a daughter, Sharon Pettijohn (born Sharon Lee Blythe), by yet another woman. Both children were born before William Jefferson Blythe Jr.'s marriage to Virginia Kelley (Clinton's mother).

Page 22: As a child, Clinton lived in a farmhouse without an indoor toilet. "Later, when I got into politics, being able to say I had lived on a farm with an outhouse made a great story, almost as good as being born in a log cabin."

Clinton on Anger

Page 42: "But because of the way Daddy behaved when he was angry and drunk, I associated anger with being out of control and I was determined not to lose control. Doing so could unleash the deeper, constant anger I kept locked away because I didn't know where it came from."

On Vietnam and the Draft

Page 104: "I briefly flirted with the idea of dropping out of school and enlisting in the military?after all, I was a democrat in philosophy as well as party."

Page 151: After his boyhood friend Bert Jeffries dies in Vietnam, "I wondered again whether my decision to go to Oxford was not motivated more by the desire to go on living than by opposition to the war."

Page 159: After deciding to apply to law school* at the University of Arkansas and applying to join ROTC, Clinton has regrets. "I wrote in my diary: 'Reading The Unfinished Odyssey of Robert Kennedy [by David Halberstam], I was reminded again that I don't believe in deferments. ... I cannot do this ROTC." He asks to be put back into consideration for the draft. His later learns his lottery number: 311.

Clinton on Weight

Page 11: "I remember one Easter in the 1950s, when I was fat and self-conscious."

Page 19: "I was a little chunky anyway, and slow, so slow that I was once the only kid at an Easter egg hunt who didn't get a single egg, not because I couldn't find them but because I couldn't get to them fast enough."

Page 43: "On Friday nights there was always a dance in the gym of the local YMCA. I loved rock-and-roll music and dancing and went frequently, starting in eighth or ninth grade, even though I was fat, uncool, and hardly popular with the girls."

Page 57: "In 2002, a major medical study concluded that older people could increase their life span dramatically by sharply decreasing food intake. Coach McCauley knew that forty years ago. Now that I am one of those older people, I am trying to take his advice."

Page 113: On a visit home from Georgetown while his stepfather was sick: "Since I hardly slept, and ate with everyone who came by, I gained ten pounds in the two weeks I was home."

Page 273: Eliza Ashley, a cook on the Arkansas governor's mansion staff, "thought I looked too young to be governor in part because I was thin; she said if I were 'more stout' I'd look the part, and she was determined to make it happen."

Of Special Interest to Freudians

Page 14: "Hillary says the first time she ever saw me, I was in the Yale Law School lounge bragging to skeptical fellow students about the size of Hope watermelons."

Clinton on Athleticism

Page 19: As a kindergartner, Clinton broke his leg after trying?and failing?to jump over a rope tied from a tree to a swing set. From the resulting fear and feelings of clumsiness, he didn't learn to ride a bicycle without training wheels until he was 22.

Clinton the Film Critic

Page 20: Clinton's favorite movie is High Noon. "I probably saw it half a dozen times during its run in Hope, and have seen it more than a dozen times since."

Page 36: "Elvis's first movie, Love Me Tender, was my favorite and remains so, though I also liked Loving You, Jailhouse Rock, King Creole, and Blue Hawaii. After that, his movies got more saccharine and predictable."

Page 36: "My favorite movies during [the late '50s] were the biblical epics: The Robe, Demetrius and the Gladiators, Samson and Delilah, Ben-Hur, and especially The Ten Commandments, the first movie I recall paying more than a dime to see."

Clinton the Food Critic

Page 66: Clinton's senior year in high school included "lunches at the Club Café, with the best Dutch apple pie I've ever had, dances at the Y, ice cream at Cook's Dairy, and barbeque at McClard's, a seventy-five-year-old family place with arguably the best barbeque and unquestionably the best barbeque beans in the whole country."

Page 72: At Georgetown, "I got coffee and donuts for twenty cents every morning. ... At lunch, I splurged to thirty cents. Half of it bought a Hostess fried pie, apple or cherry; the other half went for a sixteen-ounce Royal Crown Cola."

Page 186: "[Yale law professor] Jan Deutsch was also the only man I'd ever met who ate all of an apple, including the core. He said all the good minerals were there. He was smarter than I was, so I tried it. Once in a while, I still do, with fond memories of Professor Deutsch."

Pages 197-198: Clinton works for the McGovern campaign in Texas. "In San Antonio, I discovered Mario's and Mi Tierra, where I once ate three meals in eighteen hours." Plus, the city's Menger Hotel "serves fantastic mango ice cream, to which I became addicted. On election eve 1992, when we stopped in San Antonio, my staff bought four hundred dollars' worth of it, and everyone on the campaign plane ate it all night long."

Clinton the Book Critic

Page 17: "[My mother] had dated several men in New Orleans and had a fine time, according to her memoir, Leading With My Heart, which I'm sure would have been a bestseller if she had lived to promote it."

Page 186: "Once, instead of paying attention to class, I read Gabriel Garcia Marquez's One Hundred Years of Solitude. At the end of the hour, Professor Chirelstein asked me what was so much more interesting than his lecture. I held up the book and told him it was the greatest novel written in any language since William Faulkner died. I still think so."

Clinton's First Drink

Page 136: On his voyage to England with his Rhodes group, he drinks alcohol for the first time. But "in the late seventies I developed an allergy to all alcoholic drinks except vodka."

On Being the First Black President

Page 148: While reading Eldridge Cleaver's Soul on Ice at Oxford, Clinton writes in his diary, "Soul is a word I use often enough to be Black, but of course, and I occasionally think unfortunately, I am not."

Page 252: Two white Pentecostal women that Clinton knew from Arkansas sang at the church service during his first inauguration. Afterward, Colin Powell asked, "Where did you find white women who could sing like that? I didn't know there were any."

Fodder for Conspiracy-Mongers:

Page 44: "[M]y major extracurricular interest from ninth grade on was the Order of DeMolay, a boys' organization sponsored by the Masons."

Page 110: "In the ethics class [at Georgetown] I took good notes, and one day in August another student, who was smart as a whip but seldom attended class, asked me if I'd take a few hours and go over my notes with him before the final exam. ... [T]he guy got a B on the test. Twenty-five years later, when I became President, my old study partner Turki al-Faisal, son of the late Saudi king, was head of Saudi Arabia's intelligence service, a position he held for twenty-four years."

Why He Went Into Politics

Page 63: "I loved music and thought I could be very good, but I knew I would never be John Coltrane or Stan Getz. I was interested in medicine and thought I could be a fine doctor, but I knew I would never be Michael DeBakey. But I knew I could be great in public service."

Clinton's Life Not Lived

Page 172: "I had fantasized from time to time about being a doorman at New York's Plaza Hotel, at the south end of Central Park. Plaza doormen had nice uniforms and met interesting people from all over the world. I imagined garnering large tips from guests who thought that, despite my strange southern accent, I made good conversation."

Clinton Goes to Jail

Page 175: In 1971, Clinton hits a Volkswagen and discovers he doesn't have his driver's license. "They stripped me of my belongings and took my belt so that I couldn't strangle myself, gave me a cup of coffee, and put me in a cell with a hard metal bed, a blanket, a smelly stopped-up toilet, and a light that stayed on."

On Robert Bork

Page 176: His constitutional law class was Yale Law School's "most interesting class by far."

On Hillary

Page 181: "She had thick dark blond hair and no makeup, but she conveyed a sense of strength and self-possession I had rarely seen in anyone, man or woman."

Page 182: Hillary tries to cut her own hair before Bill's mother arrives for a visit. "It was a minor fiasco; she looked more like a punk rocker than someone who had just walked out of Jeff Dwire's beauty salon. With no makeup, a work shirt and jeans, and bare feet coated with tar from walking on the beach at Milford, she might as well have been a space alien."

Page 183: "Hillary was a formidable presence in law school, a big fish in our small but highly competitive pond. I was more of a floating presence, drifting in and out."

Page 184: He turns down a job as George McGovern's southern coordinator to move to California with Hillary for the summer, after dating her for a month.

Clinton's Thoughts on the GOP

Page 65: "I overheard an attractive girl who was in the band with me say that maybe it was a good thing for the country that [JFK] was gone. ... It was my first exposure, beyond raw racism, to the kind of hatred I would see in my political career, and that was forged into a powerful political movement in the last quarter of the twentieth century."

Page 133: "I won a lot of elections and I think I did a lot of good, but the more I tried to bring people together, the madder it made the fanatics on the right. Unlike the kids [at the 1968 Democratic convention in Chicago], they didn't want to come back together. They had an enemy, and they meant to keep it."

Clinton Learns a Lesson About Carelessness

Pages 220-221: While on the road campaigning for Congress against John Paul Hammerschmidt in 1974, Clinton loses five of his students' law-school exams. "I was mortified. I offered the students the option of retaking the exam or getting full credit without a specific grade. They all took the credit, but one of them was particularly upset about it, because she was a good student who probably would have made an A, and because she was a good Republican who had worked for Congressman Hammerschmidt. I don't think she ever forgave me for losing the exam or for running against her old boss. I sure thought about it when, more than twenty years later, that former student, federal judge Susan Webber Wright, became the presiding judge in the Paula Jones case."

Clinton's Unlikely Sources of Inspiration and Guidance

Page 343: Chevy Chase.

Page 347: Tina Turner.

Page 410: Chevy Chase and Goldie Hawn.

Clinton on Gennifer Flowers

Page 387: "Back in the 1970s, I had had a relationship with her that I should not have had." But "there was no 12-year affair."

On the Women "Procured" for Clinton by Arkansas State Troopers During His Tenure as Governor

Page 565: "The trooper story was ridiculous." David Brock "later apologized to Hillary and me" for the piece he famously put forth in the American Spectator. "If you want to know more, read [Brock's] brave memoir, Blinded by the Right, in which he reveals the extraordinary efforts made to discredit me by wealthy right-wingers with ties to Newt Gingrich and some adversaries of mine in Arkansas."

On Paula Jones, One of the Women Allegedly "Procured"

Page 596: "I hadn't sexually harassed her."

Clinton on the 1988 Presidential Campaign

Page 335: When Clinton decides not to enter the race, Michael Dukakis is "relieved" and gives Clinton a T-shirt that says, "Happy 41st. Clinton in '96. You'll only be 49!"

Page 340: During his disastrous 32-minute oration at the Democratic convention, Clinton writes, "I felt as though the speech was a 200-pound rock I was pushing up a hill."

On the 1992 Presidential Campaign

Page 368: In 1991, Roger Porter calls from the Bush White House to say that if Clinton decides to run, the Bush campaign will try to destroy him personally. "We'll spend whatever we have to spend to get whoever we have to get to say whatever they have to say to take you out. And we'll do it early."

On "I Didn't Inhale"

Page 405: "Maybe I thought I was being funny."

On Whitewater

Page 564: "Simply an attempt by my enemies to discredit me and impair my ability to serve."

Page 571: "It was probably the first time in history when the flames of outrage against a politician were fanned because of money he lost, loans he didn't receive, and a tax deduction he didn't take."

On Vince Foster's Suicide

Page 531: In a phone conversation on the night before Foster's death, Clinton says, "I did my best ... to persuade him to shrug off the [negative Wall Street] Journal editorials. The Journal was a fine paper, but not that many people read its editorials. ... Vince listened, but I could tell I hadn't convinced him. He had never been subject to public criticism before, and like so many people when they're pounded in the press for the first time, he seemed to think that everyone had read the negative things said about him and believed them."

On George Stephanopoulos' Bad Ideas

Page 389: When Clinton's experiences with the draft came under attack during the 1992 primary: "George was curled up on the floor, practically in tears." Stephanopolous suggests withdrawing from the race.

Page 499: After the FBI raid on David Koresh's compound went haywire, Clinton says, "I knew I needed to speak to the press and take responsibility for the fiasco. ... George Stephanopoulos urged me to wait." When that decision played badly: "I didn't blame George. He was young and cautious and had given me his honest, albeit mistaken, opinion."

Page 573: Stephanopoulos, among others, advocates requesting a special prosecutor to defuse the media's interest in the Whitewater story. "It was the worst presidential decision I ever made, wrong on the fact, wrong on the law, wrong on the politics, wrong for the presidency and the Constitution."

Who Quashed Health-Care Reform?

Page 482: Not Hillary. Clinton took flak for putting her in charge: "When it came to the First Lady's role, it seemed Washington was more conservative than Arkansas." But he thought she "knew a lot about the issue ... had time to do the job right, and ... would be able to be an honest broker."

Page 547: Bob Dole, who turns down an opportunity to collaborate with the Clintons on a health-care proposal.

Page 577: Bob Dole, who "would decide to kill any health reform."

Page 594: Interest groups that ran false ads bashing the plan.

Page 601: Newt Gingrich, who vowed to make "health-care reform unpassable."

Page 601: William Kristol, who sent Republican leaders a memo "urging them to kill health-care reform" because successful Clinton legislation would pose a "serious threat to the Republican Party."

Page 602: Bob Dole because "he was running for President."

Who's Responsible for the '90s Boom?

Page 537: Clinton and his team. "Our bond market gambit would work beyond our wildest dreams, bringing lower interest rates, a soaring stock market, and a booming economy."

On His Conservative Critics

Page 336: Although Bill Bennett "once inscribed a book to me with the words, 'To Bill Clinton, the Democrat who makes sense,' he apparently came to believe that either he had been wrong or I had lost whatever sense I had when he wrote those words."

Page 586: "William Safire, the New York Times columnist who had been a speechwriter for Nixon and Agnew, and who seemed determined to prove that all their successors were just as bad as they were, was especially avid in his unsupported assertions that Vince's death was linked to illegal conduct by Hillary and me."

On Other Presidents Who Got Off Easy

Page 345: Iran-Contra "might have led to [Reagan's] impeachment had the Democrats been half as ruthless as Newt Gingrich."

Page 405: Jefferson had "weakness for women"; Washington faced "criticism of his expense accounts during the Revolutionary War"; Lincoln suffered "debilitating episodes of depression. ... If he had to run under modern conditions, we might have been deprived of our greatest president."

On Mixing Fitness With Fast Food:

Page 444: "I went jogging with Chelsea downtown and stopped at McDonald's for a cup of water, as I had countless times before."

Page 449: On another post-jog visit to Mickey D's: "I got a cup of coffee."

On Boris Yeltsin

Page 508: "Whenever anyone made a snide remark about Yeltsin's drinking, I was reminded of what Lincoln allegedly said when Washington snobs made the same criticism of General Grant: ... 'Find out what he drinks, and give it to the other generals.' "

The Lewinsky Affair

Page 773: During his deposition in the Paula Jones case, Clinton complains that Jones' lawyers ask only general questions about his sexual behavior. If they had just asked more specific questions, "I would have answered them truthfully, but I would have hated it."

Page 773: Clinton recounts his liaisons with Monica Lewinsky in language far less graphic than the Starr Report. "Inappropriate encounter" and "15 minutes" is about as hot as it gets.

Page 775: Clinton insists that the Monica cover-up was his only lie (a recurring theme): "Since 1991 I had been called a liar about everything under the sun when in fact I had been honest in my public life and financial affairs, as all the investigations would show. Now I was misleading everyone about my personal failings."

Page 774: The book's sole reference to Matt Drudge: "The [Lewinsky] story first emerged publicly early on the eighteenth [of January 1998], on an Internet site." David Brock nabs three brief mentions; Michael Isikoff, none.

On the Couch

Page 800: On Aug. 15, 1998, Clinton awakens Hillary and tells her about his affair with Monica Lewinsky. She reels "as if I had punched her in the gut."

Page 803: The post-Monica blues: "When there were no cameras around, my wife and daughter were barely speaking to me. I spent the first couple of days alternating between begging for forgiveness and planning the strikes on al Qaeda. At night Hillary would go up to bed and I would sleep on the couch."

Page 811: Bill and Hillary attend counseling. "Meanwhile, I was still sleeping on a couch, this one in the small living room that adjoined our bedroom. I slept on that old couch for two months or more. I got a lot of reading, thinking, and work done, and the couch was pretty comfortable, but I hoped I wouldn't be on it forever."

Page 846: Sometime around February 1999, Clinton returns to the boudoir. "I almost wound up being grateful to my tormentors: they were probably the only people who could have made me look good to Hillary again. I even got off the couch."

Secrets of the Clintonites

Page 489: They don't like touchy-feely games. At an early administration retreat at Camp David, "we were supposed to bond by sitting in a group, taking turns telling something about ourselves others didn't know." Clinton reveals he was mocked for being chubby as a child. Lloyd Bentsen and Robert Rubin refuse to participate.

Page 660: Dick Morris could be "difficult to deal with," had "off-the-wall ideas from time to time," and tended to "go around established White House procedures." And he gets caught with a prostitute.

Page 701: Madeleine Albright uses the word "cojones" in a speech about Cuba policy.

Page 738: Clinton reads George Stephanopoulos' All Too Human: "Until I read his memoir, I had no idea how difficult the pressure-packed years had been for him, or how hard he had been on himself, and me."

Page 917: Larry Summers reports meeting "some guy named Bono?just one name?dressed in jeans, a T-shirt, and big sunglasses. He came to see me about debt relief, and he knows what he's talking about." (Bonus Bono item: On Page 688, the singer gives Clinton a book of William Butler Yeats' plays autographed by Yeats and ... Bono.)

Secrets of the Gingrichites

Page 633: Newt Gingrich becomes House Speaker after the GOP's runaway victory in the 1994 congressional elections. Clinton fumes, "[W]e weren't part of the culture Gingrich wanted to dominate America: the self-righteous, condemning, Absolute Truth-claiming dark side of white southern conservatism."

Page 634: He doesn't mean that: "I didn't want to demonize Gingrich and his crowd as they had done to us."

Page 682: Dick Armey, from Texas, "was a big man who always wore cowboy boots and seemed to be in a constant state of agitation." Armey admits that Clinton's "Mediscare" ads?which charged the Republicans with cutting Medicare and Medicaid?have succeeded in terrifying his mother-in-law.

Page 683: Gingrich says he shut down the federal government because Clinton snubbed him on the plane after Yitzhak Rabin's funeral and made him exit the plane through a rear door. "You just wonder, where is their sense of manners?" Gingrich grouses. Clinton says the back entrance was simply closer to Gingrich's car.

Page 778: In February 1998, Hillary sits with Gingrich at a state dinner. Newt says the charges against her husband are "ludicrous," "meaningless," and weren't "going anywhere."

Page 824: After Gingrich suffers a humiliating defeat in the 1998 congressional elections, a Clinton aide asks him why he's pushing impeachment. "Because we can," he replies.

Page 845: A Republican senator secretly funnels information to the White House about the GOP's attempt to nail down impeachment votes. Assuming that the leaker is someone who voted against both articles of impeachment, it's probably Olympia Snow, Susan Collins, Jim Jeffords, Arlen Specter, or John Chafee.

Conspiracy Theories

Page 556: In 1993,* "I read a list of our accomplishments to a group from Arkansas who were visiting the White House. When I finished, one of my home staters said, 'There must be a conspiracy to keep this a secret; we don't hear about any of this.' Part of the fault was mine. ... In politics, if you don't toot your own horn, it usually stays untooted."

Page 689: At a ceremony marking the end the Bosnian war, Clinton listens as Slobodan Milosevic peddles Kennedy assassination conspiracy theories and insists the U.S. government has "been successful in covering it up."

Page 776: On the Today show, a clueless Hillary blames a "vast right-wing conspiracy" for her husband's legal entanglements. Clinton, who knows the truth, writes, "seeing Hillary defend me made me even more ashamed about what I had done."

Page 642: Gingrich's Republican Congress opposes big government and international air travel. "A surprising number of them didn't even have passports," Clinton reports.

Page 822: Clinton notes, apropos of nothing, that it has recently come to light that Thomas Jefferson fathered several children with slave Sally Hemmings.

Page 914: In the middle of tense Middle East peace negotiations, Ehud Barak nearly dies after choking on a peanut.

Page 939-41: Clinton says he issued too few pardons on his way out the door?he wishes he had given passes to Webb Hubbell and Jim Guy Tucker. Of Marc Rich, whose ex-wife was a supporter: "I may have made a mistake, at least in the way I allowed the case to come to my attention, but I made the decision based on the merits."

I Didn't Cost Gore the Election!

Page 337: In 1987,* Clinton testifies against Robert Bork, who had been nominated to the Supreme Court. "President Reagan then nominated Judge Antonin Scalia, who was as conservative as Bork, but hadn't said and written as much to prove it." Scalia's behavior in Bush v. Gore amounted to "an act of judicial activism that might have made even Bob Bork blush."

Page 414: On choosing Al Gore as a running mate: "At first, I didn't think I would. On previous encounters, the chemistry between us had been correct but not warm."

Page 872: Clinton marvels at the genius of Bush's "compassionate conservatism"?"virtually the only argument he could make to swing voters against an administration with approval ratings in the 65 percent range."

Page 873: As the press reports that Clinton is sinking Gore's chances, Clinton calls Gore and volunteers to "stand on the doorstep of the Washington Post's headquarters and let him lash me with a bullwhip." Gore yuks, "Maybe we should poll that."

Page 927: Gore unveils his "people versus the powerful" slogan. In his only real criticism of Gore's campaign, Clinton writes, "The problem with the slogan was that it didn't give Al the full benefit of our record of economic and social progress or put into sharp relief Bush's explicit commitment to undo that progress. Also, the populist edge sounded to some swing voters as if Al, too, might change the economic direction of the country."

Page 928: On Gore's defeat in Arkansas: "I might have been able to turn it around, but it would have taken two or three days of rural work to do it, and I didn't know how big the problem was until I went home right before the election."

Pages 933-4: Clinton blames Gore's loss on the Supreme Court, calling Bush v. Gore "one of the worst decisions" ever handed down and ranking it with judicial disasters Dred Scott and Plessy vs. Ferguson.

The Perks of Power

Page 516: Steven Spielberg and Kate Capshaw teach him the card game Oh Hell!

Page 701: Chelsea's sweet 16 party in 1996: Les Misérables at the National Theater, then paintball with friends at Camp David.

Page 742: Strom Thurmond, 94, tells Chelsea, "If I were 70 years younger, I'd court you!"

Page 879: On a visit to Italy, the actor Roberto Benigni leaps into Clinton's arms and shrieks, "I love you!"

What Is Ken Starr Thinking?

Page 653: After a White House interview with Kenneth Starr, Clinton offers him a tour of the Lincoln Bedroom.

Page 699: Clinton theorizes that Hillary critics Starr, Al D'Amato, and Bill Safire find the first lady too successful, too domineering: "Some guys don't like that in a woman. ..."

Page 802: Clinton calls his grand jury testimony on Aug. 18, 1998, a "pornographic home movie." He writes, "That's what the, to date, whole four-year $40 million investigation had come down to: parsing the definition of sex." Clinton, of course, had used the occasion to parse the definition of "is."

Page 862: The last word on impeachment: "I will go to my grave being proud of what I had fought for in the impeachment battle, my last great showdown with the forces I had opposed all of my life?those who had defended the old order of racial discrimination and segregation in the South and played on the insecurities and fears of the white working class in which I grew up. ... They also hated me because I was an apostate, a white southern Protestant who could appeal to the very people they had always taken for granted."

Corrections, June 23, 2004: This piece originally stated that Clinton was attending Arkansas law school when he decided to drop out of ROTC. In fact, he was in Oxford and planning to enroll at Arkansas the next fall when he made the decision. It also said that a group from Arkansas visited Clinton in the White House in 1992; this took place in 1993. Finally, it noted that Clinton testified against Robert Bork in 1988; he did so in 1987. Clinton, however, seems to have bollixed the details of Antonin Scalia's appointment to the Supreme Court: He suggests that Scalia was nominated after Bork, but Scalia was appointed to the Supreme Court in 1986.

Bryan Curtis is a Slate associate editor. You can e-mail him at curtis@slate.com.
Chris Suellentrop is Slate's deputy Washington bureau chief. You can e-mail him at suellentrop@slate.com.
Julia Turner is a Slate assistant editor. You can e-mail her at explainer@slate.com.

Article URL: http://slate.msn.com/id/2102786/

(Excerpt) Read more at slate.msn.com ...


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1 posted on 06/23/2004 12:47:15 PM PDT by Polybius
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To: Polybius
Soon after we got home, Hillary found out she was pregnant

....and Webb Hubbel was crawling out the bedroom window.

2 posted on 06/23/2004 12:52:17 PM PDT by My2Cents (Well.....there you go again.)
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To: Polybius

Great. His inspirations were Chevy Chase and Goldie Hawn.


3 posted on 06/23/2004 12:52:36 PM PDT by Izzy Dunne (Hello, I'm a TAGLINE virus. Please help me spread by copying me into YOUR tag line.)
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To: Polybius
In 1991, Roger Porter calls from the Bush White House to say that if Clinton decides to run, the Bush campaign will try to destroy him personally.

Roger Porter has called this little tidbit a complete fabrication.

4 posted on 06/23/2004 12:54:01 PM PDT by Izzy Dunne (Hello, I'm a TAGLINE virus. Please help me spread by copying me into YOUR tag line.)
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To: Polybius
CONT:

On Vince Foster's Suicide:

Page 531: In a phone conversation on the night before Foster's death, Clinton says, "I did my best ... to persuade him to shrug off the [negative Wall Street] Journal editorials. The Journal was a fine paper, but not that many people read its editorials. ... Vince listened, but I could tell I hadn't convinced him. He had never been subject to public criticism before, and like so many people when they're pounded in the press for the first time, he seemed to think that everyone had read the negative things said about him and believed them."

On George Stephanopoulos' Bad Ideas:

Page 389: When Clinton's experiences with the draft came under attack during the 1992 primary: "George was curled up on the floor, practically in tears." Stephanopolous suggests withdrawing from the race.

Page 499: After the FBI raid on David Koresh's compound went haywire, Clinton says, "I knew I needed to speak to the press and take responsibility for the fiasco. ... George Stephanopoulos urged me to wait." When that decision played badly: "I didn't blame George. He was young and cautious and had given me his honest, albeit mistaken, opinion."

Page 573: Stephanopoulos, among others, advocates requesting a special prosecutor to defuse the media's interest in the Whitewater story. "It was the worst presidential decision I ever made, wrong on the fact, wrong on the law, wrong on the politics, wrong for the presidency and the Constitution."

Who Quashed Health-Care Reform?:

Page 482: Not Hillary. Clinton took flak for putting her in charge: "When it came to the First Lady's role, it seemed Washington was more conservative than Arkansas." But he thought she "knew a lot about the issue ... had time to do the job right, and ... would be able to be an honest broker."

Page 547: Bob Dole, who turns down an opportunity to collaborate with the Clintons on a health-care proposal.

Page 577: Bob Dole, who "would decide to kill any health reform."

Page 594: Interest groups that ran false ads bashing the plan.

Page 601: Newt Gingrich, who vowed to make "health-care reform unpassable."

Page 601: William Kristol, who sent Republican leaders a memo "urging them to kill health-care reform" because successful Clinton legislation would pose a "serious threat to the Republican Party."

Page 602: Bob Dole because "he was running for President."

Who's Responsible for the '90s Boom?:

Page 537: Clinton and his team. "Our bond market gambit would work beyond our wildest dreams, bringing lower interest rates, a soaring stock market, and a booming economy."

On His Conservative Critics:

Page 336: Although Bill Bennett "once inscribed a book to me with the words, 'To Bill Clinton, the Democrat who makes sense,' he apparently came to believe that either he had been wrong or I had lost whatever sense I had when he wrote those words."

Page 586: "William Safire, the New York Times columnist who had been a speechwriter for Nixon and Agnew, and who seemed determined to prove that all their successors were just as bad as they were, was especially avid in his unsupported assertions that Vince's death was linked to illegal conduct by Hillary and me."

On Other Presidents Who Got Off Easy :

Page 345: Iran-Contra "might have led to [Reagan's] impeachment had the Democrats been half as ruthless as Newt Gingrich."

Page 405: Jefferson had "weakness for women"; Washington faced "criticism of his expense accounts during the Revolutionary War"; Lincoln suffered "debilitating episodes of depression. ... If he had to run under modern conditions, we might have been deprived of our greatest president."

On Mixing Fitness With Fast Food:

Page 444: "I went jogging with Chelsea downtown and stopped at McDonald's for a cup of water, as I had countless times before."

Page 449: On another post-jog visit to Mickey D's: "I got a cup of coffee."

On Boris Yeltsin:

Page 508: "Whenever anyone made a snide remark about Yeltsin's drinking, I was reminded of what Lincoln allegedly said when Washington snobs made the same criticism of General Grant: ... 'Find out what he drinks, and give it to the other generals.' "

The Lewinsky Affair:

Page 773: During his deposition in the Paula Jones case, Clinton complains that Jones' lawyers ask only general questions about his sexual behavior. If they had just asked more specific questions, "I would have answered them truthfully, but I would have hated it."

Page 773: Clinton recounts his liaisons with Monica Lewinsky in language far less graphic than the Starr Report. "Inappropriate encounter" and "15 minutes" is about as hot as it gets.

Page 775: Clinton insists that the Monica cover-up was his only lie (a recurring theme): "Since 1991 I had been called a liar about everything under the sun when in fact I had been honest in my public life and financial affairs, as all the investigations would show. Now I was misleading everyone about my personal failings."

Page 774: The book's sole reference to Matt Drudge: "The [Lewinsky] story first emerged publicly early on the eighteenth [of January 1998], on an Internet site." David Brock nabs three brief mentions; Michael Isikoff, none.

On the Couch:

Page 800: On Aug. 15, 1998, Clinton awakens Hillary and tells her about his affair with Monica Lewinsky. She reels "as if I had punched her in the gut."

Page 803: The post-Monica blues: "When there were no cameras around, my wife and daughter were barely speaking to me. I spent the first couple of days alternating between begging for forgiveness and planning the strikes on al Qaeda. At night Hillary would go up to bed and I would sleep on the couch."

Page 811: Bill and Hillary attend counseling. "Meanwhile, I was still sleeping on a couch, this one in the small living room that adjoined our bedroom. I slept on that old couch for two months or more. I got a lot of reading, thinking, and work done, and the couch was pretty comfortable, but I hoped I wouldn't be on it forever."

Page 846: Sometime around February 1999, Clinton returns to the boudoir. "I almost wound up being grateful to my tormentors: they were probably the only people who could have made me look good to Hillary again. I even got off the couch."

Secrets of the Clintonites:

Page 489: They don't like touchy-feely games. At an early administration retreat at Camp David, "we were supposed to bond by sitting in a group, taking turns telling something about ourselves others didn't know." Clinton reveals he was mocked for being chubby as a child. Lloyd Bentsen and Robert Rubin refuse to participate.

Page 660: Dick Morris could be "difficult to deal with," had "off-the-wall ideas from time to time," and tended to "go around established White House procedures." And he gets caught with a prostitute.

Page 701: Madeleine Albright uses the word "cojones" in a speech about Cuba policy.

Page 738: Clinton reads George Stephanopoulos' All Too Human: "Until I read his memoir, I had no idea how difficult the pressure-packed years had been for him, or how hard he had been on himself, and me."

Page 917: Larry Summers reports meeting "some guy named Bono—just one name—dressed in jeans, a T-shirt, and big sunglasses. He came to see me about debt relief, and he knows what he's talking about." (Bonus Bono item: On Page 688, the singer gives Clinton a book of William Butler Yeats' plays autographed by Yeats and ... Bono.)

Secrets of the Gingrichites:

Page 633: Newt Gingrich becomes House Speaker after the GOP's runaway victory in the 1994 congressional elections. Clinton fumes, "[W]e weren't part of the culture Gingrich wanted to dominate America: the self-righteous, condemning, Absolute Truth-claiming dark side of white southern conservatism."

Page 634: He doesn't mean that: "I didn't want to demonize Gingrich and his crowd as they had done to us."

Page 682: Dick Armey, from Texas, "was a big man who always wore cowboy boots and seemed to be in a constant state of agitation." Armey admits that Clinton's "Mediscare" ads—which charged the Republicans with cutting Medicare and Medicaid—have succeeded in terrifying his mother-in-law.

Page 683: Gingrich says he shut down the federal government because Clinton snubbed him on the plane after Yitzhak Rabin's funeral and made him exit the plane through a rear door. "You just wonder, where is their sense of manners?" Gingrich grouses. Clinton says the back entrance was simply closer to Gingrich's car.

Page 778: In February 1998, Hillary sits with Gingrich at a state dinner. Newt says the charges against her husband are "ludicrous," "meaningless," and weren't "going anywhere."

Page 824: After Gingrich suffers a humiliating defeat in the 1998 congressional elections, a Clinton aide asks him why he's pushing impeachment. "Because we can," he replies.

Page 845: A Republican senator secretly funnels information to the White House about the GOP's attempt to nail down impeachment votes. Assuming that the leaker is someone who voted against both articles of impeachment, it's probably Olympia Snow, Susan Collins, Jim Jeffords, Arlen Specter, or John Chafee.

Conspiracy Theories:

Page 556: In 1993,* "I read a list of our accomplishments to a group from Arkansas who were visiting the White House. When I finished, one of my home staters said, 'There must be a conspiracy to keep this a secret; we don't hear about any of this.' Part of the fault was mine. ... In politics, if you don't toot your own horn, it usually stays untooted."

Page 689: At a ceremony marking the end the Bosnian war, Clinton listens as Slobodan Milosevic peddles Kennedy assassination conspiracy theories and insists the U.S. government has "been successful in covering it up."

Page 776: On the Today show, a clueless Hillary blames a "vast right-wing conspiracy" for her husband's legal entanglements. Clinton, who knows the truth, writes, "seeing Hillary defend me made me even more ashamed about what I had done."

Page 642: Gingrich's Republican Congress opposes big government and international air travel. "A surprising number of them didn't even have passports," Clinton reports.

Page 822: Clinton notes, apropos of nothing, that it has recently come to light that Thomas Jefferson fathered several children with slave Sally Hemmings.

Page 914: In the middle of tense Middle East peace negotiations, Ehud Barak nearly dies after choking on a peanut.

Page 939-41: Clinton says he issued too few pardons on his way out the door—he wishes he had given passes to Webb Hubbell and Jim Guy Tucker. Of Marc Rich, whose ex-wife was a supporter: "I may have made a mistake, at least in the way I allowed the case to come to my attention, but I made the decision based on the merits."

I Didn't Cost Gore the Election!:

Page 337: In 1987,* Clinton testifies against Robert Bork, who had been nominated to the Supreme Court. "President Reagan then nominated Judge Antonin Scalia, who was as conservative as Bork, but hadn't said and written as much to prove it." Scalia's behavior in Bush v. Gore amounted to "an act of judicial activism that might have made even Bob Bork blush."

Page 414: On choosing Al Gore as a running mate: "At first, I didn't think I would. On previous encounters, the chemistry between us had been correct but not warm."

Page 872: Clinton marvels at the genius of Bush's "compassionate conservatism"—"virtually the only argument he could make to swing voters against an administration with approval ratings in the 65 percent range."

Page 873: As the press reports that Clinton is sinking Gore's chances, Clinton calls Gore and volunteers to "stand on the doorstep of the Washington Post's headquarters and let him lash me with a bullwhip." Gore yuks, "Maybe we should poll that."

Page 927: Gore unveils his "people versus the powerful" slogan. In his only real criticism of Gore's campaign, Clinton writes, "The problem with the slogan was that it didn't give Al the full benefit of our record of economic and social progress or put into sharp relief Bush's explicit commitment to undo that progress. Also, the populist edge sounded to some swing voters as if Al, too, might change the economic direction of the country."

Page 928: On Gore's defeat in Arkansas: "I might have been able to turn it around, but it would have taken two or three days of rural work to do it, and I didn't know how big the problem was until I went home right before the election."

Pages 933-4: Clinton blames Gore's loss on the Supreme Court, calling Bush v. Gore "one of the worst decisions" ever handed down and ranking it with judicial disasters Dred Scott and Plessy vs. Ferguson.

The Perks of Power:

Page 516: Steven Spielberg and Kate Capshaw teach him the card game Oh Hell!

Page 701: Chelsea's sweet 16 party in 1996: Les Misérables at the National Theater, then paintball with friends at Camp David.

Page 742: Strom Thurmond, 94, tells Chelsea, "If I were 70 years younger, I'd court you!"

Page 879: On a visit to Italy, the actor Roberto Benigni leaps into Clinton's arms and shrieks, "I love you!"

What Is Ken Starr Thinking?:

Page 653: After a White House interview with Kenneth Starr, Clinton offers him a tour of the Lincoln Bedroom.

Page 699: Clinton theorizes that Hillary critics Starr, Al D'Amato, and Bill Safire find the first lady too successful, too domineering: "Some guys don't like that in a woman. ..."

Page 802: Clinton calls his grand jury testimony on Aug. 18, 1998, a "pornographic home movie." He writes, "That's what the, to date, whole four-year $40 million investigation had come down to: parsing the definition of sex." Clinton, of course, had used the occasion to parse the definition of "is."

Page 862: The last word on impeachment: "I will go to my grave being proud of what I had fought for in the impeachment battle, my last great showdown with the forces I had opposed all of my life—those who had defended the old order of racial discrimination and segregation in the South and played on the insecurities and fears of the white working class in which I grew up. ... They also hated me because I was an apostate, a white southern Protestant who could appeal to the very people they had always taken for granted."

Corrections, June 23, 2004: This piece originally stated that Clinton was attending Arkansas law school when he decided to drop out of ROTC. In fact, he was in Oxford and planning to enroll at Arkansas the next fall when he made the decision. It also said that a group from Arkansas visited Clinton in the White House in 1992; this took place in 1993. Finally, it noted that Clinton testified against Robert Bork in 1988; he did so in 1987. Clinton, however, seems to have bollixed the details of Antonin Scalia's appointment to the Supreme Court: He suggests that Scalia was nominated after Bork, but Scalia was appointed to the Supreme Court in 1986.

5 posted on 06/23/2004 12:54:04 PM PDT by Polybius
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To: Admin Moderator

Oooops.....Could you please tidy up the double pasted title, Admin Moderator? Thanks.


6 posted on 06/23/2004 12:57:49 PM PDT by Polybius
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To: Polybius

...Read an article C. Hitchens wrote on Slate this morning, on Neals Nuze, "Unfairenheit 9/11"


7 posted on 06/23/2004 1:00:07 PM PDT by gargoyle
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To: Polybius

Good Gawd! I almost fell asleep just reading that little bit!


8 posted on 06/23/2004 1:00:58 PM PDT by Old Grumpy
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To: Polybius
Page 803: The post-Monica blues: "When there were no cameras around, my wife and daughter were barely speaking to me. I spent the first couple of days alternating between begging for forgiveness and planning the strikes on al Qaeda.

Well, then, who can blame him for failing to root-out al-Qaeda. I mean, the guy was distracted. Anyone would be. [/sarcasm]

9 posted on 06/23/2004 1:00:58 PM PDT by My2Cents (Well.....there you go again.)
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To: Polybius

Re: Page 1:

Billy Boy missed a golden opportunity to open with "It was a dark and stormy night..."

He came close though. What a shame.


10 posted on 06/23/2004 1:03:05 PM PDT by Fresh Wind (Uday is DU in Pig Latin)
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To: Polybius

Pages 220-221: While on the road campaigning for Congress against John Paul Hammerschmidt in 1974, Clinton loses five of his students' law-school exams. "I was mortified. I offered the students the option of retaking the exam or getting full credit without a specific grade. They all took the credit, but one of them was particularly upset about it, because she was a good student who probably would have made an A, and because she was a good Republican who had worked for Congressman Hammerschmidt. I don't think she ever forgave me for losing the exam or for running against her old boss. I sure thought about it when, more than twenty years later, that former student, federal judge Susan Webber Wright, became the presiding judge in the Paula Jones case."




He is not a vendata type person either LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL

Its all about him and no responsibility ever taken..always someone else to blame.


11 posted on 06/23/2004 1:14:11 PM PDT by alisasny (GODSPEED DEAR SWEET PRINCE OF MEN RONALD REAGAN : ))
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To: Polybius

Bump for later read.


12 posted on 06/23/2004 1:17:42 PM PDT by Rummyfan
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To: Fresh Wind
Billy Boy missed a golden opportunity to open with "It was a dark and stormy night..."

Clowntoon's book is, of course, a fairy tale. That will make it a front-runner for the next Bulwer-Lytton Fiction Contest "honoring" the opening sentence to the worst of all possible novels.

13 posted on 06/23/2004 1:17:43 PM PDT by quark
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To: Polybius

Bump for later read.


14 posted on 06/23/2004 1:19:00 PM PDT by Rummyfan
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To: Polybius
Page 272: "[Hillary and I] badly wanted to have a child and had been trying for some time without success. In the summer of 1979, we decided to make an appointment with a fertility expert in San Francisco as soon as we got back from a short vacation in Bermuda, but we had a wonderful time, so wonderful we never made it to San Francisco. Soon after we got home, Hillary found out she was pregnant."

...and old Webb rolled over the first time, always there when needed.

15 posted on 06/23/2004 1:22:00 PM PDT by Little Bill (John F'n Kerry is a self promoting scumbag!)
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To: Polybius
Page 2: Clinton has at least two half-siblings other than Roger Clinton. His father had a son, Leon Ritzenthaler, by another woman and a daughter, Sharon Pettijohn (born Sharon Lee Blythe), by yet another woman. Both children were born before William Jefferson Blythe Jr.'s marriage to Virginia Kelley (Clinton's mother).

Bill is not related to them. His mother's husband, Mr. Blythe, got home from the war about 6 months before Sinkmaster was born. Mom always marveled at how he weighed 8 pounds even though he was born so prematurely!

Maybe he knows who his real father is, but he keeps such close tabs on his dna no one else does. There was speculation it was some rich kid who hung out at the track in Hot Springs around 1945.

16 posted on 06/23/2004 1:30:20 PM PDT by Defiant (Moore-On: That throbbing anticipation felt by a liberal hoping for America's defeat.)
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To: quark
"It was on a dark and stormy night, August 19, 1946, I was born, during a violent summer storm, to a single mother in the Julia Chester Hospital in Hope, a town of about six thousand in southwest Arkansas, thirty-three miles east of the Texas border at Texarkana."

Improvement?

17 posted on 06/23/2004 1:31:40 PM PDT by Little Bill (John F'n Kerry is a self promoting scumbag!)
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To: Little Bill
"It was on a dark and stormy night, August 19, 1946, I was born, during a violent summer storm, to a single mother in the Julia Chester Hospital in Hope, a town of about six thousand in southwest Arkansas, thirty-three miles east of the Texas border at Texarkana....

...Hope residents took one look at the newborn and said, 'Well, there goes the neighborhood.'"

18 posted on 06/23/2004 1:36:07 PM PDT by My2Cents (Well.....there you go again.)
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To: Fresh Wind

I'm surprised he didn't open with, "I was born in stable in Bethlehem, some 2000 years ago, to a young virgin named Mary...Herod, the forerunner of today's Republicans, conspired to get me."


19 posted on 06/23/2004 1:39:02 PM PDT by My2Cents (Well.....there you go again.)
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Bookmark


20 posted on 06/23/2004 1:41:07 PM PDT by LanPB01
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To: Polybius

Meanwhile, the headlines for Bill's book on the Drudge site are overwhelmingly bad, except in NYC and on CNN. The rest of the sales reports show a very slow day.








Clinton's Book Signings Draw Adoring Throngs in NYC...

CNN: 'My Life' sets records...

BUT... Sales slow in Florida...

Stacks Left Untouched on Maryland Shore...

SAN FRAN YAWN...

Clinton book sales quiet in Arizona...

Memoirs not on Houston's best seller list...

Tome slow out of gate in Cincinnati...

Not flying off shelves in Hudson Valley...

Mixed reaction in Manitowoc...

Mixed book sales in N.E. Georgia...

Creates little hoopla in San Antonio...

Not Selling in Shenandoah Valley...

Book not so magical in Wichita Falls...

Hoosiers react quietly to memoir...

Just hype? asks Gainesville...

Sales can't measure up to Harry or Hillary in suburban Chicago...

Memoirs don't stir Saginaw...

Memoir is no 1st-day best-seller in Ft. Wayne...

Not selling in VA Beach...

No best seller in Billings...

Slow in Sacramento...


21 posted on 06/23/2004 1:42:27 PM PDT by OESY
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To: Polybius

It's good that he eats the entire apple, including the core. I've heard there is arsenic in apple seeds. Guess he's just not eating enough of them.


22 posted on 06/23/2004 1:44:37 PM PDT by MayflowerMadam
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To: Polybius
Reader's Digest condensed version of Clintoon's book:

"Because I could"

Chapter 1 - Whitewater (I lied)
Chapter 2 - Bimbos (I lied)
Chapter 3 - Presidency (no accomplishments)
Chapter 4 - Terrorism (it flourished)
Chapter 5 - Welfare Reform (how I got credit for something I opposed)
Chapter 6 - Removing the "W" keys
Chapter 7 - Stealing the China
Chapter 8 - Fundraising (thank you China)
Chapter 9 - Legacy (whats that)

23 posted on 06/23/2004 1:44:55 PM PDT by OrioleFan (Republicans believe every day is July 4th, DemocRATs believe every day is April 15th. - Reagan)
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To: OESY
Page 14: "Hillary says the first time she ever saw me, I was in the Yale Law School lounge bragging to skeptical fellow students about the size of Hope watermelons."

I just confirmed this was a typo. This is how it was supposed to read:

"Hillary says the first time she ever saw me, I was in the Yale Law School lounge bragging to skeptical fellow students about the size of Hope's watermelons.

24 posted on 06/23/2004 1:47:06 PM PDT by Hildy ( If you don't stand up for what's RIGHT, you'll settle for what's LEFT.)
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To: 4mer Liberal

PING-A-LING-A-LING!


25 posted on 06/23/2004 1:53:15 PM PDT by T Minus Four
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To: My2Cents

ROTFL


26 posted on 06/23/2004 1:54:13 PM PDT by DaughterOfAnIwoJimaVet (JUST SAY NO TO SIMS' CITY.)
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To: Polybius
Page 166: While in Amsterdam, Clinton declines to visit a prostitute.

Translation: While in Amsterdam, Clinton visits many prostitutes.

27 posted on 06/23/2004 1:58:08 PM PDT by TexasCajun
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To: My2Cents
...Hope residents took one look at the newborn and saw the Mark of the Beast beneith the wispy grey hair, and ran sceaming from the hospital.

I wonder if any of the Sandlins were around at the conseption, Max was a little young, but that covern might have cut the deal.

28 posted on 06/23/2004 2:18:33 PM PDT by Little Bill (John F'n Kerry is a self promoting scumbag!)
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To: Polybius
Page 1: The book's inauspicious first line reads, Early on the morning of August 19, 1946, I was born under a clear sky after a violent summer storm..."

Page 20: Clinton's favorite movie is High Noon. "I probably saw it half a dozen times during its run in Hope, and have seen it more than a dozen times since."

The Movie High Noon was released in 1952. Precocious wasn't he?

29 posted on 06/23/2004 2:23:45 PM PDT by Jimmy Valentine's brother (My other brother's BufordP)
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To: Polybius; dighton; mhking; onyx
"I was so exhausted I fell asleep while the stripper was dancing and the goat head was looking up at me."

I smell an Oliver Stone blockbuster! LOL

30 posted on 06/23/2004 2:26:59 PM PDT by Petronski (Ronald Reagan: 1015 electoral votes.)
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To: Izzy Dunne
But "in the late seventies I developed an allergy to all alcoholic drinks except vodka."

WTF?

31 posted on 06/23/2004 2:32:00 PM PDT by Petronski (Ronald Reagan: 1015 electoral votes.)
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To: Polybius
Page 182: Hillary tries to cut her own hair before Bill's mother arrives for a visit. "It was a minor fiasco; she looked more like a punk rocker than someone who had just walked out of Jeff Dwire's beauty salon. With no makeup, a work shirt and jeans, and bare feet coated with tar from walking on the beach at Milford, she might as well have been a space alien."

Well, I've got my new tag line...

(It was a close call between that and the "goat head" line.)

32 posted on 06/23/2004 2:32:25 PM PDT by Ichneumon ("...she might as well have been a space alien." - Bill Clinton, on Hillary, "My Life", p. 182)
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To: Polybius
"But I knew I could be great in public service."

Wrong again, Bill...

33 posted on 06/23/2004 2:33:20 PM PDT by DJ Frisat
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To: Jimmy Valentine's brother

Nice catch! LOL


34 posted on 06/23/2004 2:34:25 PM PDT by Petronski (Ronald Reagan: 1015 electoral votes.)
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To: My2Cents

ROFLMAO.................really!


35 posted on 06/23/2004 2:35:19 PM PDT by Howlin
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To: My2Cents
Page 197: "I was so exhausted I fell asleep while the stripper was dancing and the goat head was looking up at me."

Was the goat smoking a cigarette?

36 posted on 06/23/2004 2:36:48 PM PDT by Always Right
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To: Polybius
I spent the first couple of days alternating between begging for forgiveness and planning the strikes on al Qaeda. At night Hillary would go up to bed and I would sleep on the couch.

LOLROFPIMPRFI

Right.

37 posted on 06/23/2004 2:44:45 PM PDT by Petronski (Ronald Reagan: 1015 electoral votes.)
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To: Hildy

That really is funny, especially since it involved an undiscerning Hillary.


38 posted on 06/23/2004 2:52:50 PM PDT by OESY
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To: Polybius
"I did my best ... to persuade him to shrug off the [negative Wall Street] Journal editorials. The Journal was a fine paper, but not that many people read its editorials. ... Vince listened, but I could tell I hadn't convinced him. He had never been subject to public criticism before, and like so many people when they're pounded in the press for the first time, he seemed to think that everyone had read the negative things said about him and believed them."

What a sockfull of crap!

The truth:

"I told Hillary she'd better handle Vince as he was getting out of control and might blab. Hillary told me not to worry. She had invited him to an apartment she'd rented for a candlelit dinner and a ride in the park afterwards."

"I said, Hillary, we need a nervous sister like Foster like we need a hole in the head."

39 posted on 06/23/2004 3:03:57 PM PDT by JesseHousman (Execute Mumia Abu-Jamal)
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To: Always Right
LOL....Is this from Bill's book, or from the autobiography, "My Short Life, by Mohammed Atta."

You know, we could have a blast lifting excerpts from the autobiographies of other people (Anton LeVay, the "priest" with the Church of Satan in SF, is one possibility) and pass them off as excerpts from Clinton's book.

40 posted on 06/23/2004 3:06:04 PM PDT by My2Cents (Well.....there you go again.)
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To: JesseHousman
"I said, Hillary, we need a nervous sister like Foster like we need a hole in the head.""'Interesting that you should put it that way,' said Hillary with a wink."
41 posted on 06/23/2004 3:08:49 PM PDT by My2Cents (Well.....there you go again.)
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To: My2Cents

Egad -- I couldn't even finish this.....


42 posted on 06/23/2004 3:11:30 PM PDT by r9etb
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To: r9etb

I couldn't either. The prose are so tedious and predictable. I wonder how many times Clinton inserted the words "I, me, or mine" in the text?


43 posted on 06/23/2004 3:14:06 PM PDT by My2Cents (Well.....there you go again.)
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To: My2Cents
I wonder how many times Clinton inserted the words "I, me, or mine" in the text?

I heard that the number and values of the letters in Scrabble were originally determined by the number of times each letter appeared on a single page of a single book.

I guess it's a good thing Bill Clinton's Autobiography hadn't been published yet....

44 posted on 06/23/2004 3:17:52 PM PDT by r9etb
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To: Polybius
Page 19: As a kindergartner, Clinton broke his leg after trying?and failing?to jump over a rope tied from a tree to a swing set. From the resulting fear and feelings of clumsiness, he didn't learn to ride a bicycle without training wheels until he was 22.

You got to be kidding me.

45 posted on 06/23/2004 3:21:51 PM PDT by idkfa
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To: Polybius

None of us live to hear our own eulogies but with the release of his book BJ is experiencing the atmosphere and comments that will be made about him and his presidency when he passes on.

It's like looking into a crystal ball.


46 posted on 06/23/2004 3:30:57 PM PDT by COUNTrecount
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To: Petronski
....on al Qaeludes
47 posted on 06/23/2004 3:31:49 PM PDT by Little Bill (John F'n Kerry is a self promoting scumbag!)
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To: idkfa
"From the resulting fear and feelings of clumsiness, he didn't learn to ride a bicycle without training wheels until he was 22."

Maybe that's why he preferred oral sex to regular intercourse. Having to get on top of a woman without training wheels must have been very scary for Bill.

48 posted on 06/23/2004 3:35:01 PM PDT by mass55th
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To: Fresh Wind
Billy Boy missed a golden opportunity to open with "It was a dark and stormy night..."

It's funny you mention this. Back in August of 2001, a thread entitled "Bill Clinton's memoir as told to Free Republic," had the following entry by Freeper knarf:

".... on a cold and windy Arkansan night ..."

I thought the coincidence was pretty ironic.

49 posted on 06/23/2004 3:38:50 PM PDT by mass55th
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To: Polybius
Page 653: After a White House interview with Kenneth Starr, Clinton offers him a tour of the Lincoln Bedroom.

Probably tried to shake him down for a campaign contribution!

On Paula Jones, One of the Women Allegedly "Procured"

Page 596: "I hadn't sexually harassed her."

OK, if he says so, that's good enough for me!

50 posted on 06/23/2004 3:44:46 PM PDT by NYC GOP Chick (Mr. Gorbachev, tear down this wall! -- RIP, President Reagan)
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