Posted on 06/24/2004 11:36:21 PM PDT by JohnHuang2
No criticism here. I bet you're a damn fine Dad.
Taxes ain't it.
"Wants" have become "needs".
The larger homes, the nicer cars, the vacation condo, the boats and off-road toys,.....
It is truly a matter of misplaced priorities.
Don't whine about the single Mom's with no choice.
There are more of them also attributable to misplaced priorities.
I don't think she would criticize you for doing what you have to do, which is put your daughter in some kind of care. After all, you can't take her to work and you have to provide. You have no other choice unless you want to become a welfare case.
I think she is down on women who have the choice and make the wrong one thereby neglecting their families through pursuing their own selfish, unnecessary career goals.
I finally told my husband I was tired of being a working mom. He is making more money than ever, and I am miserable trying to tend to the boys in the a.m. while rushing to get ready for work, and then having only 2-4 hours with them in the evening, plus making dinner and giving baths et al, before they go to bed. I also have to pretty much do all the housework, laundry etc etc after they go to bed, which then limits the time I have to spend with the Mr. I then get in bed to get up at 5:30-6 the next day to do it again.
I love my job, but I want and need to be there for my boys.
We are working towards a goal of getting our debt all the way down (less stuff like house payments, etc) and me easing out of my job. Its scary, because I have a good job now, the best I've ever had, but the pay doesn't equal out at the end.
The gnawing pit in my stomach has been eased a bit, but I am scared.
We will also probably end up home schooling before long, the school system already hates us. Really, they do.
My family and I, (2 adults and soon to be 3 small children, plus 2 dogs) are getting by on my income alone, (around $55K/year). We have a reasonable housein the burbs, reasonable vehicles, and reasonable stuff. We find that we have what we need and are happy with what we have.
Having one parent stay at home can be done. It just means some changes to lifestyle and watching every penny.
Semper Fi
Here they would be --- in a region with the majority of people making less than $10 an hour -- and property taxes hitting $3000 or more a year plus gas prices at $2.00 a gallon, milk at $4 a gallon, it would be very difficult for an average income family with 4 kids to make it on one income unless welfare handouts are taken. Plus the kind of house you can buy for $30,000 isn't in a good neighborhood at all.
If one parent makes $55K a year --- then there is no good excuse for two incomes --- a big family can live very nicely from that --- but in today's economy not everyone can make that kind of money. What do people do where the factories have shut down? Welfare and food stamps and CHIP shouldn't be the solution either.
We have two children -- ages three years and four months -- and I am a full-time, stay-at-home mommy with a double Master's. My husband and I acknowledged that we would give up a LOT of "things" to have a good family life.
We have ONE (older) car -- hubby takes the train every day.
We buy most of the children's clothes at consignment stores.
We take occasional car vacations, and day trips, instead of huge family vacation extravaganzas.
I COOK every night, and bake on weekends -- we don't order out or eat out, except as a family treat.
Don't get me wrong -- there are days I want to tear my hair out, and I crave adult conversation (thanks, FR!) -- but the sacrifices are worth it. The young years are so short. My daughter and my son come first, and they know it.
You wouldn't BELIEVE, however, the things people say about "Wasting my education" by staying home with my kids! People are downright ignorant and rude, and imply that there is something wrong with ME, that I am willing to stay home.
No, it isn't. I am an enlisted military member with 7 kids at home, and my wife homeschools them. No, we are not rich and often live payday to payday. But we are not starving. "We have to work" is a big fat myth.
I knew a couple who were making 80,000 a year. The husband and wife both worked the same hours, so the children were in daycare all day.
This couple is just one example of people who have a baby and "farm" it out.
They both had to work to pay for their expensive home, trucks and boat. They were very proud of their possessions.
Nice post.
It seems some animals have more loyalty and nurturing instincts toward their offspring than some humans do.
I went to a baby shower a couple of weeks ago, and the women there were complaining about taking care of their children as if they were such a burden. Why have them?
In Memphis, subsidized Day Care by the state is big business, as the poor mothers aren't raising there kids. Millions have been squandered and corruption is rampant, as the city's power brokers, i.e. the Ford family, as in the family of U.S rep Harold Ford Jr.
Worst part is that 8 kids have died, left in hot vans:
http://www.wate.com/Global/story.asp?S=1363435
Your story is similar to mine, although I didn't get the criticism you speak of. Many of my friends were stay at home moms. I've heard all the excuses for why it is perfectly acceptable to farm kids out to day care centers and never agreed with it. I also had a college degree and am now working as a social worker with children's services and I'm more convinced than ever that I was right. Hang in there. You'll find work. It took me a while too.
This is what Laura would say to you: Get a job where you wouldn't be working so much. If that means a cut in salary, so be it, move somewhere cheaper. If you don't have family help because of where you live, she'd tell you to move to where the family is. The point is the most important thing right now is your child. You make whatever changes you must, however uncomfortable, for the sake of your child.
Thank you for both sacrifices. Your service to your family, and the service to your country. I suspect your sacrifice to your (our) God is why all the rest are possible!
I don't know about Dr. Laura, but if I lived a little closer I'd be your little girl's adopted grandma. I have a grandson in Colorado. He used to live with me. I miss him terribly. I love having kids around and my grandma and great-grandma were the most influential people in my early life. I guess that's why it makes me sad to see children who don't have that. God bless you and your little girl.
Maybe you ought to quit 'practicing' so much...LOL!
I'm not sure of the rest of the country, but in Minnesota, the big push is on for all day kindergarten.
"Free" daycare.
"If one parent makes $55K a year --then there is no good excuse for two incomes" That's crazy. Say that to any person who lives within 40 miles of the city of Boston. I thought this was a conservative forum?
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