Most of the "readers" of the LA and MY Times can't read. They have ADD---which is a liberal disease.
I know your being semi facetious BUT it has a ring of truth - sadly.
Prior to the new ownership of the Chicago Sun-Times, it used to be called by the locals as the Chicago Slum-Times as you'd never see a four syllable word in any article. And they tried like heck to avoid a three syllable word.
The paper really was for dummies. Or as 'Da Mare' Richie Daley would say - constituents. LOL