Douglas Adams classics:
"A common mistake that people make when trying to design something completely foolproof is to underestimate the ingenuity of complete fools."
"The ships hung in the sky in much the same way that bricks don't."
"He felt that his whole life was some kind of dream and he sometimes wondered whose it was and whether they were enjoying it."
"Time is an illusion, lunchtime doubly so."
"How do you feel?" he asked him.
"Like a military academy,"said Arthur, "bits of me keep passing out."
"An expression of deep worry and concern failed to cross either of Zaphod's faces."
"Curiously enough, though he didn't know it, he was also a direct male-line descendent of Genghis Khan, though intervening generations and racial mixing had so juggled his genes that he had no discernible Mongoloid characteristics, and the only vestiges left in Mr. L. Prosser of his mighty ancestry were a pronounced stoutness about the tum and a predilection for little fur hats."
"Vogon poetry is of course the third worst in the Universe. The second worst is that of the Azgoths of Kria. During a recitation by their Poet Master Grunthos the Flatulent of his poem 'Ode to a Small Lump of Green Putty I Found in My Armpit One Midsummer Morning' four of his audience died of internal hemorrhaging, and the President of the Mid-Galactic Arts Nobbling Council survived by gnawing one of his own legs off. Grunthos is reported to have been 'disappointed' by the poem's reception, and was about to embark on a reading of his twelve-book epic entitled 'My Favorite Bathtime Gurgles' when his own major intestine, in a desperate attempt to save life and civilization, leaped straight up through his neck and throttled his brain."
"He heard the thunder of horses in his head..."