1. Calling them names is not necessary. There is no reason to be nasty just because you disagree with their lifestyle.
2. Your question is irrelevant. The kid needs good religious education regardless of if they really want her to have it or not. The Church dropped the ball IMHO here, they could have been a counter influence that could have helped the child a lot.
On your second point, you might or might not be right. But it's the church's and the school's issue to determine, not the government's and not yours. On the first point, I agree that it's wrong to call them "dykes." It is perfectly appropriate to call them nasty names -- political names, like "fascist," for example. "Bullies" would do nicely as well.