"Adult toy shuts down airport"
I'm gonna leave that one alone, or else I could get into a lot of trouble!
We definitely live in wierd times.
Not me! In 1979, I was working at Miami International airport for Wackenhut Security, manning the X-Ray machine, when a really obnoxious passenger came down the concourse cursing everybody for her delays. I watched the monitor closely, hoping I could find maybe a pair of long sharp scissors, and got something MUCH better. The woman started to grab her cosmetics case off the belt when I sternly told her to bring the bag back. The cop behind me, concerned at my harsh tone came up next to me and visibly unsnapped his holster. Suddenly MS OBNOXIOUS was reeeaaal quiet. I flipped open the case and reached inside, rumaging around for the deadly weapon.....I slowly withdrew a HUGE fleshtoned knobby ridged VIBRATOR loudly announcing to the concourse that I had seen evidence of "wires..." I wanted to check to see if it was a.....BOMB!
At the moment I uttered that word, everybody for 100 yds turned to stare. When I held the object up like a sexy imitation of the Statue of Liberty and the cop dissolved into gales of laughter, rolling on the floor as MS OBNOXIOUS started to sink her way into the carpet and slime her way to the aircraft....very quietly. I gave it back to her and warned her not to "BRANDISH IT AT ANYBODY" and she softly took it and scurried away. My boss was less than pleased, but he was chuckling too. The cop never recovered. He had to go on break and tell the rest of them.....
Adding insult to injury, I later heard that the same MS OBNOXIOUS was really nasty and mean to the ticket agents. They were kind and polite all the while. But they got even by deliberately sending her checked luggage to BOMBAY instead of her stated destination of Cincinnatti. Imagine going through all of that and then finding out your bags have been redirected to BOMBAY, India! I wonder if she might think that maybe somebody "upstairs" might have been trying to send her a message?