Posted on 09/21/2004 10:00:16 PM PDT by Redcoat LI
CBS producer may sleep with the phony fishes By Howie Carr Recent Columns by Howie Carr Wednesday, September 22, 2004
Three words for Dan Rather's producer Mary Mapes:
Witness Protection Program.
Mapes is the one person who can tie together all the loose ends of Rathergate. She is to the DNCBS dirty-tricks unit what Abe ``Kid Twist'' Reles was to Murder Inc. And look what happened to the Kid - he went out the window of the Half-Moon Hotel on Coney Island, the ultimate canary.
One press conference by Mary Mapes and this presidential campaign could be over. She is to Rathergate what John Dean was to Watergate. Which is why it behooves her to be missing. Surely her blood ran cold when she heard that Dan Rather has taken to describing her as a ``great reporter.'' Talk about the kiss of death.
The vast left-wing conspiracy isn't going down without a fight.
You would think Mary Mapes, crack journalist that everyone says she is, would understand the peril she's in. But she's obviously not the brightest bulb on the Christmas tree. I mean, even the Globe could see through Bill Burkett - the Globe! She checked out nothing before green-lighting the hoax for the benefit of the Kerry campaign. She set up the phone call between her crackpot source and the Clintonite sleaze Joe Lockhart. As someone said yesterday, forget the smell test, this hoax didn't pass the laugh test. The Weekly World News has higher journalistic standards than ``60 Minutes.''
Of course, it'll be tough for her to leave behind her fabulous career as Dan Rather's top flimflam gal. She'd already worked her way up to the top of Rather's personal fraud squad and was looking forward to becoming manager of the prestigious ``60 Minutes'' forgery unit.
Some on the Internet, such as conservative blogger John Ellis, have advised her to hire a lawyer and an agent. The lawyer, for the frame the CBS suits are so clearly fitting her for, and the agent for the inevitable book deal. But there's plenty of time for her memoirs, ``Forging Ahead at CBS,'' or ``Putting the BS into CBS.''
But it's over for CBS. Compared to Dan Rather, Ted Baxter looks like Edward R. Murrow. The DNC has gone from plausible deniability to nonplausible deniability.
Bill Burkett would be a better witness than Mapes in the upcoming criminal trials, but Dupe Throat is even nuttier than Dan Rather. The ``unimpeachable source'' now says he's suing CBS, which means Viacom can ``settle out of court.'' Burkett's latest tall tale is that he got the documents from a woman named ``Lucy Ramirez.''
Has anyone ever seen ``Lucy Ramirez'' and Mary Mapes in the same room together?
According to her own father, Mapes is a ``radical feminist.'' I've seen her picture - let's just say that a photo spread in Playboy is not in the cards once she gets the bum's rush out of Black Rock. But among the perks of the Witness Protection Program is plastic surgery, if necessary. And then the feds will try to relocate Miss Mapes to a place where she can feel at home. Have you ever visited Jamaica Plain, Mary?
I tried to reach out to a couple of people I know who've been in the program to see if they had any tips for the disgraced ditz. First I called Henry Hill in L.A., but his phone's disconnected and he's moved to Nebraska. Then I phoned Fat Tony Ciulla in Malden. His phone's disconnected, too.
Poor Mary Mapes - the loony left-winger may not realize that this is her future. She may even try to hang in at CBS for another few days. My final advice, Mary: If Dan Rather says he's putting you up at the Half-Moon Hotel, tell him to forget about it. Tell him you'll be staying with a dear friend of yours.
Lucy Ramirez.
Mapes is in a whole lot of trouble regarding this...
Now drudge says burkett will sue cbs, yeah right.....
Maybe it was mapes who contacted burkette in the first place, now that wopuld be HUGE, considering here radical viewpoints and history.
Thanks for posting this.
Regards,
Joe
Please FReepmail me if you want on or off my infrequent ‘miscellaneous’ ping list.
"Have you ever visited Jamaica Plain, Mary?"
Remember, feminism so unattractive women can access the mainstream.
I hope she talks and tells the full story.
> It will be interesting to see what she does.
They need a scapegoat they can "fire for cause" with no
severance, benefits, etc.
If Mary is the designated sword swallower, but has enough
dirt on CBS, they'll need to make her an attractive offer,
like "we'll pretend to fire you, then make it worth your
while later".
She'd better get lump sum cash up front.
I like feminist. I think they're cute.
very funny and very true. Mz. Mapes ought to disappear for her own health.
Either that or she will get a better Book deal elsewhere.
I know it's the Herald, not the Globe, but this is amazing...
This is troubling. Seems the women will have to take the fall for these 'seasoned' news men that should have known better.
Where's NOW when you need them? Oh, I forgot Clinton showed them to be frauds during his administration.
Experts have said this is unlikely, but a forgery of military documents has occured with intent to corrupt the political process. There is a reason to make an exception if laws have been broken.
It would be good to make an example of the perp/s.
How would it be if Bill Burkett takes over Dan Rather's job. He could do a 60 Minutes segment where he leads us to the real Lucy Ramirez.
> ... the only way to get to the bottom of this is
> through a criminal investigation, state or federal.
Or Congressional.
Anyway, I agree.
Several somebodies need to go to JAIL over this, or
future elections will be blizzards of forged documents
(more realistic looking, of course).
And Mary needs to realize that if she takes the corporate
fall for CBS, she'll be first in line for fingerprinting.
Accepting a settlement to save Grima Rathertongue's butt
won't save Mary's when the wheels of justice begin to turn.
Great writing! This is downright Coulter-like.
BIG BUMP!
Watch her get a book deal with Simon & Schuster. She'll do a full tilt victim of right wing political witch hunt against her kind of book.
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