Posted on 09/22/2004 12:18:19 AM PDT by Travis McGee
JZ's Revised Parody Lyrics To "American Pie"
Date Thursday, September 16, 2004
American Pie (Dan Rather Lied)
I can still remember , Walter Cronkite on the evening news. America just understood, his stories were true, the sources were good, It was simple when the networks were so few.
But Dan Rather came and made us livid, with every flawed report he delivered, bad news on the TV screen. It was enough to make you scream. I can't remember if I cried when I read about the memo lies, but something touched me deep inside, the day, CBS lied. So...
Bye, bye liberal media lies. Rather blew it, and we knew it,, yet all he did was deny, Those good old days of ever trusting the eye, are gone because CBS lied, They're gone because Rather lied.
Did you write the memos so fake, and do you have faith they weren't on the take, if the L.A. Times tells you so, and do you believe just one expert and the little to which he'll assert, even when everyone else says he's wrong.
We'll now we know those letters just can't be right, but Rather continues his pathetic fight. His bosses say they'll investigate, but this looks like Watergate.
I have to say it almost made me smile to see the old man in such deep denial it's like CBS was on trial. The day 60 Minutes died. You can't believe 'em.
Bye, bye liberal media lies. Rather blew it, and he knew it, yet all he did was deny. Those good old days of ever trusting the eye, are gone because CBS lied, They're gone because Rather lied.
Now for many years we had no choice, until talk radio finally gave us a voice, from now on that’s how it's gonna be. when reporters sang for the king and queen with the most leftist coverage you’ve ever seen, and a voice that didn't come from you and me, oh and while the king was looking down, the internet stole his thorny crown their power had been lost, their ratings this will cost, and while Koppel read a book on Marx, the Today Show still tried to make their mark, but they were sadly in the dark, the day, that Rather lied. You can't believe 'em.
Bye, bye liberal media lies. Rather blew it, and he knew it, all he did was deny. Those good old days of ever trusting the eye, are gone because CBS lied, They're gone because Rather lied.
An anchor babe sang the blues and I asked for fair and balanced news she said FOX and turned away, I went down the cable dial where I'd heard the news years before but the man there said the old news wouldn't play, in the streets the networks screamed, the papers cried, and the critics reamed, Don't believe a word that's spoken, the nation's dialogue is broken, and the three men now in the tightest jam, Tom and Peter and that LIAR Dan, they'll all have time to work on their tan, because , the old media died.
Bye, bye liberal media lies. Rather blew it, and we knew it, all he did was deny. Those good old days of ever trusting the eye, are gone because CBS lied, They're gone because Rather lied.
It's pretty sterile, reading it, but the song itself is terrific, a full "American Pie" production.
Hey, just reading the lyric, it could work with Steeley Dan's "My Old School".
< grin >
Sorry about the double post...
I've started to stutter in my old age..
Semper Fi
A long, long time ago...when the TV news biz started
They knew not where it would go
They hoped it would last forever...no matter how they did their jobs
But there were things that they just couldn't know
The public trust they were abusing...they thought that they would catch us snoozing
They sneaked in their bias...pretending to be pious
Talk Radio, cable, and internet...showed them all that their match they met
In his Depends Cronkite wet and Old Media had died
So bye, bye to Old Media, bye
It was quite a run but you are done and now it won't fly
New Media's here, so be a big girl, don't cry
We were laughing as Old Media died...laughing as Old Media died
It was Brokaw, Jennings, and Rather who each night put out all that blather
They determined what was news
They pretended that they were real journalists...the more we heard, the more we're p*ssed
We grew so weary of their slanted views
Every chance they'd knock the GOP...it was obvious, the blind could see
While they put out their leftist prattle...we were getting set for the battle
Well, there came a guy named JimRob who had quite enough
It was time our side proved that it had the right stuff...he took charge and showed them it wasn't a bluff
Old Media would die
We were singing, bye, bye to Old Media, bye
It was quite a run but you are done and now it won't fly
New Media's here, so be a big girl, don't cry
We were laughing as Old Media died...laughing as Old Media died
For years the game they had been winning 'cause they were really good at spinning
It was easy as could be
Entertainment they sometimes threw in for fun...they came down hard on those with guns
Oh my, there's Katie's colonoscopy
There was shock when they examined her..."That's her brain" each one would soon concur
Then the nurses all started screaming...when they realized they're not dreaming
We heard some shout, "Here is a chance we cannot let pass...we will say we're sorry if we're being too crass
Everyone knew Katie's head was in her *ss"
Old Media would die
We were singing, bye, bye to Old Media, bye
It was quite a run but you are done and now it won't fly
New Media's here, so be a big girl, don't cry
We were laughing as Old Media died...laughing as Old Media died
Their cheerleading really was shameless...for what RATS did they're always blameless
No one had been too surprised
To the whole world they'd proven that they were whores...they kissed the feet of Michael Moore
Can I please have that pizza supersized?
He ballooned up to a half a ton...he could cause an eclipse of the sun
To the anchors he was a hero...while things burned they're playing like Nero
There was no chance they would show both sides of anything...propaganda they had been determined to bring
One day they were foiled by the vast right wing
Old Media would die
We were singing, bye, bye to Old Media, bye
It was quite a run but you are done and now it won't fly
New Media's here, so be a big girl, don't cry
We were laughing as Old Media died...laughing as Old Media died
Would they do what's right? They're saying, "NO, never"...they thought they were just so very clever
They thought they'd get away with it
Docs were found down in Sandy Berger's pants...and Dan Rather thought he'd take a chance
With those forgeries now George Bush he would get
Dan used them and he was elated...but Bush is misunderestimated
Thanks to a group of sleepers...pajama-wearing FReepers
So Dan Rather's plan would fail...Ken's frequency was now in a jail
A happy ending to this tale
Old Media would die
We were singing, bye, bye to Old Media, bye
It was quite a run but you are done and now it won't fly
New Media's here, so be a big girl, don't cry
We were laughing as Old Media died
I think he was being ironic about Walter, as in, that's what we were brainwashed into believing.
Disclaimer: Opinions posted on Free Republic are those of the individual posters and do not necessarily represent the opinion of Free Republic or its management. All materials posted herein are protected by copyright law and the exemption for fair use of copyrighted works.