'Cornhole' Catching on Beyond Midwest

AP via Yahoo! News ^ | 11-1-04 | By TERRY KINNEY

[Prince Charles]

Is it customary for the players to chew on Feen-A-Mint flavored chewing tobacco during the game?

[Conspiracy Guy]

ROTFLMAO

[paulcissa]

Bwah-hahhhhhh! That one cost me a keyboard! Well done!

[PBRSTREETGANG]

We have been playing this game here in Southeast Indiana for several years. It is a lot of fun and very addictive.

Well, it's good to see that cornholers can come out of the closet here without fear of retribution.

[Oldeconomybuyer]

...It is a lot of fun and very addictive...

You're gonna get a lot of grief for that one ...

[ArrogantBustard]

"Corn toss" my buttfoot! It's "cornhole", easily verified by driving through Cincy, or many small towns is SW Ohio, and looking at the bars, many of which advertise "cornhole" tournaments. BTDT. When visting friends in that area, two years ago, I was ROFL the first time I saw one of those "Cornhole Tournament" signs ... they had to explain. I got to be pretty good at the game, during that visit.

BTW, if you follow British usage at all, "Corn Toss" isn't much better than "Cornhole".

[day10]

I figured I would.....................

[PBRSTREETGANG]

Does Cincinnati also have a Pillowbiting Association?

[Bungarian]

For your enjoyment. Notice the liberal BS from VAN DREESEN


Beavis and Butthead walking to Stewart's house
Beavis Hey! Butthead. How come we're going to Stewart's house?
Butthead 'cuz I heard he's got diarrhea.

Beavis Oh. Yeah. heh heh

Stuart's mom Thank you boys for bringing Stewart's homework to school for him. He's sooo sick. He spent all night in the bathroom.

Butthead Really? Diarrhea?

Stuart's mom Yes, I'm afraid so.

BeavisButthead heh heh ..... heh heh (Beavis imitates the squirts)

Stuart's mom Now booooooys.... come on. Say, have you boys eaten breakfast?

Butthead Uuuuuh....

Beavis Ummmmmmmmmm, I think I did once.

Stuart's mom Well, you can't go to school on an empty stomach. Heeeeere. I made some breakfast burritos for Stewart. He's not feeling well enough to eat.

Butthead Whoa! Burritos for breakfast!

Beavis Yeah! Yeah! Cool!

Stuart's mom You boys eat up. I'm going to check on Stewart. He probably needs more "T.P."

Butthead Hey, Beavis. Ya think she's gonna put a thermometer up his butt?

Beavis Yeah! And then she's gonna put it in his mouth!!

BeavisButthead heh heh .... heh heh (EATING BURRITOS)

Beavis & Butthead YEAAAAAAAAAACH! OOOOOOOOOAAH!! GAAAAAG!!

Butthead What the hell is this crap? ptui This isn't a burrito!

Beavis Yeah. I got eggs in mine! She tricked us!

Butthead No wonder Stewart's got diarrhea.

Beavis Yeah. heh heh..... Let's see what else they have.


RANSACKING THE KITCHEN
Butthead This sucks! There's nothing good here.

BEAVIS FINDS THE SUGAR MOTHER LODE
Butthead Hey! Buttmunch.... give me some...
Beavis No way, punk! SUGAR SPAZ ATTACK

Butthead Settle down, Beavis..... pretty cool.

---

VAN DREESEN'S CLASSROOM
(BEAVIS HAVING A SUPER SUGAR FIT...)
Mr. Van Dreesen It's ironic that we in this country who cherish freedom occasionally support governments who are less responsive to human rights. We're very fortunate.....(FADE OUT)....
Butthead What's your problem Beavis? Settle down.

Mr. Van Dreesen ...the strugle for freedom is by no means over. It still goes on today in places like.... Nicaragua... El Salavdor... and Panama.

Beavis (shirt over head) NIC..AR..A..GUA. Agua....Agua for my bunghole.... bunnnghooooole!

Mr. Van Dreesen Beavis! Please sit down...

Beavis Are you threatening me? I AM CORNHOLIO!

Mr. Van Dreesen Come on Beavis. Take your seat... Now, technically America is not a democracy but a republic....

Beavis to female. classmate ...you have T.P.? T.P. for my bunghole?

Girl Get out of here Beavis.

Beavis Ummmmmmm. Okay. Heh heh ... heh heh...
WALKS OUT OF CLASS I AM CORNHOLIO. I need T.P. for my bunghooooole. Bunghoooole!

Mr. Van Dreesen Uh... Beavis... where are you going?...... Where did Beavis go?

Butthead Heh heh ... heh heh... that was cooooool. Heh heh ..

---

Beavis (HALLWAY) Bunnnnnghooooole.... heh heh!!
(TO JANITOR)
I AM CORNHOLIO! I need T.P. for my bunghole. heh..heh..yeah.... heh heh... Hey! Would you like to seeeeee my bunghole? heh heh heh....
Mr. Van Dreesen Butthead... where did Beavis go?

Butthead Uhhh... I dunno...

Mr. Van Dreesen Is Beavis having some kind of a problem I should know about?

Butthead Uhhhh... he ate like 27 candy bars and then like drank a 6-pack of root beer!

Mr. Van Dreesen Hmmmmm.... that's strange. I just read about a study that says sugar isn't supposed to cause hyperactivity.

Beavis (GIRLS RESTROOM) Heh heh.... heh ... ahhhhhhh.... heh heh heh.. yeah! This'll be cool...

(ENTERS BATHROOM) I AM CORNHOLIO!!! Whoa... that was cool heh heh.. I NEED T.P. FOR MY BUNGHOLE!! heh heh COME OUT WITH YOUR PANTS DOWN!! (looks under stalls) Oh... yeah. Uhhh nevermind.

---

(CUT TO SPANISH CLASS)
Beavis Nicaragua.... arriba.... andelay.... I AM CORNHOLIO!! I NEED T.P. FOR MY BUNGHOLE!!!
Spanish teacher Senor Beavis! Donde esta tu hallpass?

Beavis Are you threatening me? You will give my T.P. ... bungholio!

Spanish teacher Beavis.... just what in the hell do you think you are doing?

Beavis DO NOT MAKE MY BUNGHOLE ANGRY! Do you have any oleo?

Spanish teacher Get the hell outa my class and go straight to the principal's office. NOW!

Beavis Ummmmmmm.... okay. THE PRINCIPAL.... he will give me T.P.! heh heh I would hate for my bungholio to get polio...

Where I come from we have no bunghole... heh heh heh heh

Spanish teacher "Ahhh, las luces aprendidas, pero nadie en casa....." The lights are on, but nobody's home....

---

(CUT TO PRINCIPAL MCVICKER'S OFFICE)
McVicker Uhhhh... look! I don't know what your problem is... but I simply cannot have students wandering the hallways during class, interrupting other classes and giving prophesies of a great plague.
Beavis Oh... yeah. Sorry 'bout that.

McVicker Wait! What was that? Did you just say you were sorry?

Beavis Ummmmmmmmm..... ummmmmmmmm

McVicker You did! You just said you were sorry. Uh... didn't you?

Beavis Uhhhh... yeah. heh heh...

McVicker You see! I knew it. You kids have never apologized to me once! Maybe this is a new day for you. Maybe punishment isn't the answer! I'm gonna let you go. Ya know... I'm actually proud of you today. Take some candy with you.... (BEAVIS LEAVES)

Secretary Now, you're going right back to class, right Beavis?

Beavis Yeah... uhhhhh... no. NO! I must get T.P. for my bunghole! pulls shirt over head I am the great Cornholio!!! heh heh .... heh heh

Secretary Do you need a hall pass?

Beavis Are you threatening me? heh heh... yeah! I need no hallpass. (LEAVES)

I heed holio for my bunghole! WANDERING THE HALLS, sappy music I am the great Cornholio! I have no bunghole! BUNGHOLEEEEEOOOOO! I need T.P. for my bunghole! We are without bungholes!
The End

[MNlurker]

Actually the rules I played called for each player to have a counterweight(beer)in the other hand or your tosses don't count.

[Doctor Stochastic]

Had a different meaning in 1950s Texas too. Language evolves.

[Slicksadick]

Corn Hole Folk Lore????? LMAO

Things of a Corn Hole Nature

      

(All images on this page are thumbnails - simply click them to view larger image)

This is my favorite personalized design.  I make no claims of copyright, however, it being the state flag, after all.  If you would be interested in an exact copy like this, however, I can produce very limited quantities for $150.00 per set (local customers only - SW Ohio).  Contact me here for additional info: my email 

 

The Basic Design

Being a very brief overview of what the top board dimensions are, using official dimensions from the Western Ohio Corn Hole Regulatory Council*.  Check to make sure yours is "legal".  NB: I previously offered a customized service to build sets, but I've desisted from this activity due to lack of time (the above note excepted).

*Not to be confused with any actual organization.

Corn Hole Folk Lore

Being a collection of lore, one-liners, and other humor as it relates to this family-oriented game of fun, skill, and, failing that, sheer luck.

The Science Behind the Game

Well, yes, there is science behind the game.

[JesseHousman]

Yes. They're especially big on cornholing on Castro Street.

[muleskinner]

All Your Cornholes Are Belong To Us

[Slicksadick]

Keep your corn bags dry. Real corn bags will germinate if allowed to stay damp; a situation that will render them "useless old bags".

"What do you call a corn hole player who claims to be much worse at the game than he actually is?"
"A corn bagger, of course."

"What would you call a referee of a corn hole tournament?"
"I don't know, but in Texas and certain other states, they're also known as the 'police'."

"How can you tell whether you have a male or female corn hole game?"
"Oh - Please."

"What is the appropriate expletive to use, when someone vanquishes your point by knocking off your bag with his?"
"Oh Shucks!"

"What do you have when opposing players cannot agree on the scoring of a given toss?"
"Cornfusion."

"If you play corn hole near a farm with chickens, please keep the chickens away from the corn bags."

"What do you call a corn bag that misses the board completely and falls to the ground?"
"A corn patty." (Note the distinct sound the bag makes when splatting on the ground).

"Remember: It's impolite to sniff your opponent's corn bag."

"What did Leonardo de Vinci say when he realized how much fun corn hole was?"
"Es a tuiza gona bona corna baggi!"

"What are those mysterious circles in corn fields REALLY?"
"Why, corn hole games for aliens, of course. 1 point for an abductee tossed onto the field, 3 points for each abductee what lands inside the circle."

[muleskinner]

All Your Cornholes Are Belong To Us

[scott7278]

Thanks for the "enlightenment."

[You Dirty Rats]

As someone who moved to Cincinnati almost ten years ago, I can say that this area definitely has some odd characteristics. It's depressing to see this carny game become a signature pastime for this backwards city. Now it's getting national publicity - great. What's next, tossing rings onto Coke bottles?

If anyone ever needed proof that this town is DULL beyond belief, here it is.

"Cornhole" is a horrible name for the game. Absolutely horrible. A carny game named after Ned Beatty's debut acting performance. Marvelous.

Anybody have any "kill your neighbor or kid" lawn darts?

[Bungarian]

http://www.thegreatcornholio.com/sounds/almighty.wav

[AdamSelene235]

I am from Ohio and when I was a kid there Corn-holing meant something very different.

What did it mean?