How to Deal With a Russian Hangover

MosNews ^ | 15.11.2004 | Polina Moroz

[MississippiMasterpiece]

For one reason or another, what people know about Russia is often linked to alcohol. The experience of Russian drinking culture is the subject of one well-known joke, when a foreigner writes in his journal: “Monday. Drank with the Russians. Tuesday. Almost died. Wednesday. Drank with the Russians some more. Thursday. Should have died on Tuesday.” So it is necessary to pay homage to the way Russians deal with the after-effects of drink, both on a national and a personal level.

The misery of a hangover has not changed for centuries, neither has the campaign against misbehaving drunks, so the question of post-drinking blues has a long history.

People that roam the city after their drinking escapades risk ending up in a vytrezvitel, a ’drunk tank’, a place that has inspired fear in generations of Russians. It was conceived as an institution in tsarist times, the first one opening in 1902 in Tula to save local army men from freezing to death after their squad had a bit too much. It was reinstated in the Soviet Union in 1931 and came under the control of the Interior Ministry in 1940.

During the prohibitionist years, the police had a daily norm of picked-up drunks. They drove around in a special wagon nicknamed a kopilka (piggy bank) and singled out people that threatened public safety: quite often the victims were chosen at random, especially on cold nights when the patrols got tired and bored.

Even though prohibition was short-lived in Russia, putting stray drunkards into the kopilka is still in practice; moreover, it’s profitable for the officers. When morning comes to the vytrezvitel and you find out that half of your money was gone overnight, the police cheerfully tell you to be more careful next time you go out to a bar. After all, it’s not called a piggy-bank for nothing!

If you manage to get home without event, there are a few traditional Russian hangover cures for the morning-after that have been popular for centuries. The most popular is the brine from either pickles or Russian sauerkraut (called rassol in Russian) as it contains the necessary potassium and magnesium. Another handy liquid is kvass, which is a brown malt beverage made of fermented rye bread.

Many Russians believe that it’s better to fight fire with fire and sip warm beer from the night before, but there is the risk of getting carried away and continuing the previous night’s debauchery and spiralling into the vicious circle of a zapoy, or drinking binge.

For the more ambitious, there are also Russian hangover cocktails that juggle the classic ingredients like eggs, spices and tomato juice. For one, known as “Sick head,” the directions are as follows: you have to cover a glass with a thin coat of vegetable oil, break one egg into the glass, a pinch of salt, and red and black pepper. Pour in two tablespoons of vodka and mix well. Close your eyes and nose, forget what is in the glass, and gulp down the contents. After the procedure the victim should lie down and rest with a cold towel over the forehead.

There is also traditional hangover food. The classic greasy burger and shake never really took off in Russia, but there is one dish that is recognized as a guaranteed hangover remedy. It is a thick stew called haash, which actually comes from the Caucasus and is even served in Moscow’s Armenian restaurants on January 1st to alleviate the morning-after misery. Haash is a pain to prepare: you have to cook tripe and beef trotters for six hours and consume the result with radish and a lot of garlic.

Another curing “snack” was allegedly discovered by Tsar Nicholas II, and is called “Nikolashka”: take a slice of lemon, put a teaspoon of sugar and a teaspoon of coffee on top, and eat in one bite.

All of these may be helpful and tested by generations of Russians, but when that morning comes, most people can’t find the strength to prepare a complicated recipe. Some opt for “Alka-Seltzer and sleep”, others put instant coffee into coca-cola, and some, like my friend Alina, choose “rassol and a guillotine”.

[MississippiMasterpiece]

A postcard advertising rassol, “A sip for a new day”

[GOP_1900AD]

Haash - the Armenian answer to Menudo ... ;) LOL

[Manic_Episode]

My old hangover cure was to wake up drunk and then continue drinking. Worked for a few years, but it eventually caught up to me.
I still have a few beers a week, but I'm proud to say I haven't gotten drunk in 14 years, the best hangover cure ever.

[Aracelis]

“Monday. Drank with the Russians. Tuesday. Almost died. Wednesday. Drank with the Russians some more. Thursday. Should have died on Tuesday.”

I am acquainted with several Russians through work. Drinking is more important to these fellas than even sleep. God bless 'em, no way a mere mortal could ever keep up with them. :)

[Mr. K]

you got it- there is nothing worse than feeling drunk anyways

I stop immediatley as soon as I feel any effect at all. A slight warm buzz is very pleasant.

This may take only one beer (I am a wuss with no tolerance)

Costs LOTS less, and I havent had a hangover in years

[Max Combined]

Hash works best.

[Myrnick]

One of my fondest memories is standing at midnight in Red Square at the foot of the Lobnoe Mesto near the Kremlin and St. Basil's. As a light January snow fell we drank rotgut vodka and smoked even worse Cuban cigars under the watchful gaze of the guards at Lenin's tomb. That was truly worth the hangover!

[SMARTY]

Must be true. My grandparents are from Turkey and that's what the old man did for a hangover.

[Sender]

The trick to looking at drinking like a Russian is to disassociate drinking from partying and recreation, and to put it in the same class as eating and breathing. Russians don't think "Oh boy, I can't wait to get off work and head out to the bar" anymore than they think "I can't wait to get off work and breathe". Drinking is fully integrated into life. And they can consume a lot without being drunk.

One time a Russian told me we should have 3 shots of vodka before church...on a Sunday morning. Why, I asked? For the Father, the Son and the Holy Ghost, of course. It's not just for breakfast anymore. The same Russian was with me shopping and we stopped for a snack in a department store grill. He ordered a hot dog and a huge, tall glass of vodka. I said "Are you really going to drink all that with a hot dog?", and he replied "Sure, I'm not driving." His kids have a glass of red wine with dinner "for health". And of course, in the banya (sauna) the men gather to sit around in towels, eat watermelon, drink, then cook themselves and whack themselves with birch branches. When they're near passing out from the heat, out they come to drink and eat some more until it's time to steam again. This cycle can go on for hours. The stories and jokes become more lively and entertaining with each cycle ;)

[MinstrelBoy]

Russian saying: if you feel good, drink vodka. If you feel bad, drink vodka.