Apocalypse (Almost) Now

NICHOLAS D. KRISTOF

[DTaggart]

If America's secular liberals think they have it rough now, just wait till the Second Coming.

The "Left Behind" series, the best-selling novels for adults in the U.S., enthusiastically depict Jesus returning to slaughter everyone who is not a born-again Christian. The world's Hindus, Muslims, Jews and agnostics, along with many Catholics and Unitarians, are heaved into everlasting fire: "Jesus merely raised one hand a few inches and . . . they tumbled in, howling and screeching."

Advertisement

Gosh, what an uplifting scene!

If Saudi Arabians wrote an Islamic version of this series, we would furiously demand that sensible Muslims repudiate such hatemongering. We should hold ourselves to the same standard.

Tim LaHaye and Jerry Jenkins, the co-authors of the series, have both e-mailed me (after I wrote about the "Left Behind" series in July) to protest that their books do not "celebrate" the slaughter of non-Christians but simply present the painful reality of Scripture.

"We can't read it some other way just because it sounds exclusivistic and not currently politically correct," Mr. Jenkins said in an e-mail. "That's our crucible, an offensive and divisive message in an age of plurality and tolerance."

Silly me. I'd forgotten the passage in the Bible about how Jesus intends to roast everyone from the good Samaritan to Gandhi in everlasting fire, simply because they weren't born-again Christians.

I accept that Mr. Jenkins and Mr. LaHaye are sincere. (They base their conclusions on John 3.) But I've sat down in Pakistani and Iraqi mosques with Muslim fundamentalists, and they offered the same defense: they're just applying God's word.

Now, I've often written that blue staters should be less snooty toward fundamentalist Christians, and I realize that this column will seem pretty snooty. But if I praise the good work of evangelicals - like their superb relief efforts in Darfur - I'll also condemn what I perceive as bigotry. A dialogue about faith must move past taboos and discuss differences bluntly. That's what blue staters and red staters need to do about religion and the "Left Behind" books.

For starters, it's worth pointing out that those predicting an apocalypse have a long and lousy record. In America, tens of thousands of followers of William Miller waited eagerly for Jesus to reappear on Oct. 22, 1844. Some of these Millerites had given away all their belongings, and the no-show was called the Great Disappointment.

In more recent times, the best-selling nonfiction book of the 1970's was Hal Lindsey's "The Late Great Planet Earth," selling 18 million copies worldwide with its predictions of a Second Coming. Then, one of the hottest best sellers in 1988 was a booklet called "88 Reasons Why the Rapture Will Be in 1988." Oops.

Being wrong has rarely been so lucrative.

Now we have the hugely profitable "Left Behind" financial empire, whose Web site flatly says that the authors "think this generation will witness the end of history." The site sells every "Left Behind" spinoff imaginable, including screen savers, regular prophecies sent to your mobile phone, children's versions of the books, audiobooks, graphic novels, videos, calendars, music and a $6.50-a-month prophesy club. This isn't religion, this is brand management.

If Mr. LaHaye and Mr. Jenkins honestly believe that the end of the world may be imminent, why not waive royalties? Why don't they use the millions of dollars in profits to help the poor - and increase their own chances of getting into heaven?

Mr. Jenkins told me that he gives 20 to 40 percent of his income to charity, and that's commendable. But there are millions more where that came from. Mr. LaHaye and Mr. Jenkins might spend less time puzzling over obscure passages in the Book of Revelation and more time with the straightforward language of Matthew 6:19, "Do not store up for yourselves treasures on earth." Or Matthew 19:21, where Jesus advises a rich man: "Sell your possessions and give the money to the poor. . . . It will be hard for a rich person to enter the Kingdom of Heaven."

So I challenge the authors to a bet: if the events of the Apocalypse arrive in the next 10 years, then I'll donate $500 to the battle against the Antichrist; if it doesn't, you donate $500 to a charity of my choosing that fights poverty - and bigotry.

Gentlemen, do we have a deal?

[evets]

When will Christ return?
"Sit at my right hand, until I make a footstool of your enemies."
Then.

[pissant]

Uh Mr. Kristof, the book is a novel of fiction. To say that everyone who reads the books thinks that this is what is coming soon is a serious leap. These guys are in business to sell books.

[go_W_go]

"...enthusiastically depict Jesus returning to slaughter everyone who is not a born-again Christian"

Where is this depicted? Christ returns, and MERCIFULLY allows everyone to live ETERNALLY! The only difference is WHERE you spend that eternity... There is no "slaughter" in the second coming of Christ...

Jeff

[Earthdweller]

Matthew 6:19, "Do not store up for yourselves treasures on earth." Or Matthew 19:21, where Jesus advises a rich man: "Sell your possessions and give the money to the poor. . . . It will be hard for a rich person to enter the Kingdom of Heaven."
-----
Keep reading. Maybe the real meaning will come to you.

[F16Fighter]

If Saudi Arabians wrote an Islamic version of this series, we would furiously demand that sensible Muslims repudiate such hatemongering.

They already have -- it's called the 'Koran'...And they intend to create hell on earth...

Critic NICHOLAS D. KRISTOF (and assumbably a gnasher of teeth) has forgotten LaHaye and Jenkins has written a novel -- although the Bible has indeed earmarked certain "non-believers" with the distinct possibility of hell -- or at least "separation from the presense of God."

[Portnoy]

When I started reading the Left Behind series, they seemed to have promise, but somewhere around the fourth book, the writing became lame, the margins became wider and the story appeared repetitive. The whole idea of a Tribulation Force battling the anti-Christ became silly.

It was a good concept that would have made a great three book trilogy. Regardless, the series has sold millions of copies. (So what do I know!) I may borrow the last book from the library just to see how they portray the Second Coming...

[all4one]

"If Saudi Arabians wrote an Islamic version of this series, we would furiously demand that sensible Muslims repudiate such hatemongering. We should hold ourselves to the same standard."

One need not look further than the islamic koran....where it tells the muslim followers to "kill all infadels". How is that for "Hatemongering"?

[Steve_Seattle]

Liberal Christians do not like to acknowledge the apocalyptic side of Jesus' message - they find it embarrassing. But scholars generally agree that those apocalyptic passages are among the most certainly authentic statements of Jesus. Nevertheless, I'm not into the specifics of the "Left Behind" series; I don't think it necessarily represents accurate Biblical scholarship.

[killjoy]

Back in the 1970s, my Grandmother was a big follower of all the end of the world religious nonsense. She would go on and on about how the world was about to end and Jesus was going to come back very soon and save everyone. I remember once asking her, "If the world is going to end soon, why do I need to do my homework?" It was an important question for someone in elementary school. Her answer, "Just in case". LOL.

[Steve_Seattle]

"I've offered to bet any amount of money that the World doesn't end within the next 10, 25, 50 years, or whatever."

It's not a fair bet, because if the world ends, you don't have to pay. lol

[cartan]

Considering those great numbers of born-again Christians blowing themselves up in shopping malls and massacring children in schools and making DVDs of their beheadings of unbelievers, it is not hard to understand why liberals would be majorly concerned about this sort of hate speech...or, uhm, am I missing something here?

[dennisw]

If Saudi Arabians wrote an Islamic version of this series, we would furiously demand that sensible Muslims repudiate such hatemongering. We should hold ourselves to the same standard.

Another sicko from the NYTimes equating today's Christian fundamentalism with today's Islamic fundamentalism. This simplistic nonsense plays well in Manhattan I suppose.

Keep it up you blue state wise guys and know it alls and keep losing elections.

[Steve_Seattle]

"If Saudi Arabians wrote an Islamic version of this series, we would furiously demand that sensible Muslims repudiate such hatemongering. We should hold ourselves to the same standard."

The "Left Behind" series anticipates a divine intervention in history; it does not encourage anyone to kill or attack nonbelievers, or to force conversions. So Kristof's atttempt at a parallel with radical Islam falls flat.

[aft_lizard]

I agree it was the most predictable poorly written number one book ever.

[rightwingcrazy]

Wasn't that a Disraeli quote?

[Axenolith]

But I've sat down in Pakistani and Iraqi mosques with Muslim fundamentalists, and they offered the same defense: they're just applying God's word.

Big difference here. Christians just tell how they see it will unfold. Followers of Islam attempt to impliment it every day...

[fishtank]

dunno

[trebb]

I've read all but the last book in the series and enjoyed them immensely. This twit obviously doesn't understand that without Christ, we are all sinners and the penalty for sin is death. God's Justice insists on payment - that's why He sent His Son to pay the penalty for us and gave us all the opportunity to choose everlasting life in lieu of death. I guess I have no choice but to pray that this guy gets it before it is too late and he ends up being one of the casualties he scoffs about...

[Steve_Seattle]

"I can't understand how the Da Vinci Code became such a success... Boring!"

For anyone with a modicum of knowledge about the Bible, the Dead Sea Scrolls, the Nag Hammadi gnostic texts, and the history of Christianity, the book is laughably inaccurate and therefore almost unreadable. But liberals loved it because it reinforced all their paranoid stereotypes and misconceptions about the history of Christianity.

[superiorslots]

Quote:The problem I have with the "lef behind" series is that its poorly written


I read the first 3 books and they were all the same. I've never read a series of book where the plot lines are so dragged out. I sometimes wonder if the authors are dragging out the story line to get more $$$$ knowing people will buy their books