While trying to escape through Pakistan, Osama Bin Laden found a brass lamp and picked it up.
Suddenly, a female genie rose from the lamp and with a smile said "Master, may I grant you one wish?"
"You ignorant unworthy daughter-of-a-dog! Don't you know who I am? I don't need any common woman giving me anything" barked Bin Laden.
The shocked genie said, "Please, I must grant you a wish or I will be returned to that lamp forever."
Osama thought a moment. Then grumbled about the impertinence of the woman, and said "Very well, I want to awaken with three American women in my bed in the morning, just do it and be off with you!"
The annoyed genie said, "So be it!" and disappeared.
The next morning Bin Laden woke up in bed with Lorena Bobbitt, Tonya Harding, and Hillary Clinton.
His penis was gone, his knee was broken, and he had no health insurance.
God is good.
Two liberals are sitting outside at night. They are gazing upon a bright full moon. One liberal says to the other, "Which do you think is farther away, the moon or Florida?" The other one snaps, "We can SEE the moon from here, dummy, you can't see Florida."