Posted on 12/15/2004 11:50:25 PM PST by nickcarraway
No! No it didn't!
It was a brilliant strategy, sprung from the bulging brow of brainy liberal intellectual prodigies! It only didn't work because... well OK I'll go ahead and tell you...
We CHEATED! That's right, we Republicans cheated! That's the only reason your incredibly clever and subtle and convoluted 527 scheme didn't work! That's right! No other Republican will tell you this, but I will!
In 2008, do the very same thing! You almost got us! We were really, really, scared. Karl Rove was shaking in his boots, and you can take that to the bank!
Only next time, use more convicted felons to knock on the front doors of various soccer moms. There's no better way to get a college-educated middle manager Ohio hockey Dad to consider voting for a liberal commie democrat like Hillary Clinton than to have a tatooed guy with a New York accent show up on the front porch of his McMansion and try to give him some bumper stickers for his Navigator, and maybe a lawn sign. Almost worked too. All I can say is "whew."
(steely)
Since we're now free to speak about our little secret I might as well reveal that I voted for Bush over 700 times as well as personally reprogramming certain Diebold machines to switch Kerry votes to Bush. I was well rewarded by Halliburton for my nefarious activities.
...is that people in the Midwest...
...weren't persuaded...
...by a bunch of obnoxious, sanctimonious, liberal twits...trucked in from New York City?
Pfft!
Yeah, right!
We saw evidence of the quality of these paid "volunteers" the Democrats put out on the street to register their voters. They roamed shopping center parking lots accosting people. They were frequently rude, hostile and downright nasty if they thought the person they were addressing was a Republican. And, they could not read well, many of them, and did not get the registration cards filled out properly.
We always knew when they were working the local area. We would get quite a few calls from distressed residents telling us about these awful people. We also got quite a few new registrations ourselves because these Democrat workers jogged our voters' minds to make sure they were going to be able to vote too.
Our volunteers were fervently focused and dedicated to the re-election of their president.
We also had many registered Democrats volunteering with us because they were so appalled by John Kerry. We were grateful to each and every one of them and did not make their party registration any issue. They were frequently embarrassed they were still registered as Democrats.
You did what? You destroyed ballots? How could that happen?
There is such a thing as rule of law and common decency.
I do hope you are kidding.
Republicans must stand for rule of law, the Golden Rule, and decency or we will become just like the Democrats have.
What you say you did, and I hope facetiously, is typical of all those Third World banana republics where individual rights don't exist and the people are crushed under the strongman's thumb.
Is this what you want for your country?
We make a country good by each one of us committing tiny, daily, continual acts of goodness and decency.
It was easy. Don't tell the Democrats, though, or they'll be extremely angry. What do you mean they're already extremely angry?
LOL! Right...be sure to get all that good publicity with crazy Communist groups like ACORN signing up voters and being paid in crack, too. That went over really well with weekly church-goers. It's a brilliant strategy and you Dims just didn't get enough of your misfits...er, volunteers...out there among the people in the red states. Try, try again.
whats so funny is that is what they think. I joined some Protest Warriors earlier in the year to counter a weekly protest at Halliburton. The hippies were calling us thugs and saying we were paid by Halliburton. Well I need my check! Its Christmas you know.
Relax, dear. It was humor...pure humor. Base on telling the feeble-minded democrats what they want to hear.
I worked the last 6 days in N/E Pennslyvania. We had a group of people who were absolutely top shelf.
Here's a story that shows the difference between us and them:
One of our young female volunteers said that she had spoken to a lady on a front porch in Scranton.
The lady said she was a Democrat but would vote for the President because her son and nephew were in Iraq.
She continued by saying that a week before two "voluteers" with union jackets came to her door. That conversation went something like this:
Union thug: "We see you're a Democrat, you're voting for Kerry, right?"
Democrat Lady: " No my son and nephew are in Iraq. I think Bush would do a better job protecting them."
Union thug: " You know they are both going to die for Bush's oil, don't you?"
As she was telling us the story, our volunteer was crying and said that she and the Democrat Lady cried together.
Thre's a scene in Godfather II where Michael sees Castro's rebels willing to die while fighting government soldiers. He says, "They're going to win. They fight for a cause. The soldiers get paid to fight."
The rats found out that paid "volunteers" don't do as well as real volunteers.
marking
Great! Quote of the Day material! (if they're still doing that.)
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