Posted on 12/16/2004 10:44:07 AM PST by Cousin Eddie
Ironically, I received this e-mail from my very liberal, California niece yesterday:
Notice
The Center for Disease Control has issued a warning about a new and virulent strain of sexually transmitted disease. This disease is contracted through dangerous and high-risk behavior. The disease is called gonorrhea lecthym (pronounced "gonna-re-elect-him"). Many victims have contracted it after having been screwed by the Bush-Cheney-Rove-Ashcroft administration for the past four years and failing to have taken adequate measures to protect themselves. Cognitive sequelae of individuals infected with gonorrhea lecthym include antisocial personality disorder traits; delusions of grandeur with a messianic flavor; cognitive perseveration; inability to incorporate new information into a rigid idée fixe; xenophobia; inability to accept responsibility for actions; and a strong propensity for categorical, all-or-nothing thinking.
This epidemic is out of control. It has been credibly reported that it has already resulted in brain death in over 59,000,000 Americans. Excessive exposure to country music and yellow ribbon asphyxiation are thought to be contributing factors. Unfortunately, new CDC Director Archbishop Burke has ordered a halt to research into the disease after determining the disease is incurable and is merely God's will. Apparently, however, at least 55,000,000 of us have natural immunity and are poised to lead a brief but exciting life right after the rapture begins and our afflicted fellow Americans ascend to their eternal reward.
MY Response to her:
Yes, it is a frightening reality that most sexually transmitted diseases bring to our society. I have heard about this strain. Sadly, it has been traced to the original carrier. Through painstaking research and investigation, it has been discovered that it was first transmitted on the desk in the oval office about six years ago. Cigar residue was found to be interactive with the bacteria and thus was found to be the ingredient which activated the disease's deadly impact on our population. Both carriers have been isolated and rendered inactive. There is some concern about the wife of one of the carriers, as she has, (we shall use the slang word,) "f@#%@$", numerous people througout her troubled life, but she too will be neutralized, probably within the next two years or so.
haha!
Someone needs to photoshop that magazine cover to feature a picture of John F'n Kerry.
Your response to your niece is excellent. I have a very good friend whose sister sends her similar emails. If this email is circulating and my friend receives it, would you mind if I sent her your response?
...aborting two of them?!
That headline is about to be right.
Actually, it is... or rather, one of my many, many strong suits. What's your problem with my math?
Ding, ding, ding! I think we have a winner. That's the best explanation yet.
Actually, you have to include the Nader and Other votes. Works out to about 50.75% for Bush, 48.25% for Kerry, and the other 1% or so for Nader and the others. Go to the website...it updates the numbers every day. Early on Bush had a 3.5mm vote lead and barely over 51%, but the lead has drifted down to 3mm and 50.75% as more absentees/provisionals were counted.
The vote total changes a bit each day.
What are you talking about, 'dude' (to use your venacular)? I don't owe anyone an apology.
59mm voted for Kerry, and the original headline asked how 59mm could be so dumb. Just connecting the dots here.
Also, Kerry only got 251 EC votes...one of his Minn EC votes switched to Edwards. LOL. I haven't heard this on the news but it's mentioned on Dave Leip's site.
Go for it! My niece was actually speechless for once, and just had to do a ROFLMAO back to me, what else could she do?
I thought the vote was written in for "Ewards?" Has anyone actually named Ewards been identified as the legitimate recipient of that vote?
Don't know the answer. The Dave Liep page on the 2004 Election says:\
"Election Notes:
* In Minnesota, one Kerry Elector voted for John Edwards for President and John Edwards for Vice President "
Sounds like that's what actually happened. I don't think there's any distinction such as "write-in" in the EC. The 10 people in MN get together and cast their votes for Pres and VP.
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