You set up two straw men.
1 - No one on this thread has said a 110 pound woman has a decent chance against a 250 lb man. That is why there are weight classes. However, my 120 pound daughter did once put her 135 lb date face first on the floor of the mall after he decided to play with her tits (ended the date, BTW). And my wife has bloodied the nose of an instructor (academic) who asked her for sex (she didn't tell me about it until several years later).
2 - there are martial arts studios (majority, IMHO) where they take your money & teach nothing of value. That doesn't mean that punches, throws and locks do not exist, or cannot be taught.
As per your claim of straw dog #1, please refer to post # 22.
Again -- I'm not opposed to girls playing any sport they like -- including wrestling. I just don't think they should play contact sports with the guys -- it puts the guys in the spot and, in my opinion, at a disadvantage.
You can squash a guy's eyeballs in or knee him in the groin. Its not for the faint of heart but its your life or the bad guy's, its no time to be squeamish.