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Married, without children: Finding fulfillment with no kids
Rocky Mountain News ^ | 1/3/05 | Mark Wolf

Posted on 01/03/2005 8:31:56 AM PST by qam1

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To: BikerNYC

Too disappointing?


261 posted on 01/03/2005 10:04:58 AM PST by Old Professer (When the fear of dying no longer obtains no act is unimaginable.)
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To: Bella_Bru

Amazing how meaningful some learning opportunities can be!


262 posted on 01/03/2005 10:05:23 AM PST by EternalVigilance (Shaking nine point oh - With a deadly wave goodbye - oh four departed...)
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To: Slyfox
Every time I read about couples like this I remember the little old ladies in the nursing homes I have visited who never had any children and have to rely on that lone nephew who lives 1,500 miles away for a family connection.

NOW I think THAT'S a SELFISH reason to have kids......so that you can have somebody to help you when you get old?? I'll bet your kids will be happy to know that.

263 posted on 01/03/2005 10:05:55 AM PST by zoobee (http://n.ethz.ch/student/mkos/pinguin.swf Smack the Penguin)
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To: frgoff
Any person who thinks they are a suitable parent is definitely not. Any person who realizes they will probably be inadequate but will do their best in love is suitable.

That is not borne out by observation. Plenty of people have kids because of social pressure, knowing they were unsuitable, and then do a lousy job of raising them. I have seen it in my own family.

264 posted on 01/03/2005 10:05:56 AM PST by A Ruckus of Dogs
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To: Durus

Your sarcastic remark may actually be the premis of Mr homo-advocate Wolf's article. His premise is that marriage is FORCED to be about children which it should only be about consenting adults who love entering into a contract based on love and sex. Did I metion the love and sex?

This is not about the people who decide not to have children. Mr Wolf is endevoring to push childless marriage as the norm to support his homosexual marriage causes.

We should be focusing less on why an individual normal couple makes the decision and focus more on why marriage AS AN INSTITTUION is centered on children. As FR we need to go deeper into a article and the author than mere surface anecdotes. What is this guy's bias? Why only anecdotes? (classic homo-advocacy writing BTW, just happy happy anecdotes)


265 posted on 01/03/2005 10:06:00 AM PST by longtermmemmory (VOTE!)
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To: HungarianGypsy
I think the majority of kids are really well behaved. It's the ones who are little monsters that stand out and get noticed and give the rest a bad name.
266 posted on 01/03/2005 10:07:04 AM PST by retrokitten
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To: Durus

The couple who chooses not to have children are the most selfish of all people, for they demand the future pay for their present.


267 posted on 01/03/2005 10:07:14 AM PST by frgoff
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To: L98Fiero; All

Why? They happen to have an organization for people like them. So what? They're not saying having children is bad, they just say it changes things, as it does. They just wanted a group they felt comfortable with. Why does that make you all feel so UNcomfortable. I don't have children of my own (Grown stepchildren), never once regretted it. I don't go around admonishing people for having children, why do people who have children always feel the need to tell me how selfish I am???? I'll wait for a good answer on that one.


268 posted on 01/03/2005 10:07:29 AM PST by Hildy ( To work is to dance, to live is to worship, to breathe is to love.)
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To: Nataku X

"Nowadays running all over the place knocking over waiters and food displays is perfectly permitted... as is screaming."

Same folks who think children are too much work.
I didn't imagine behaving like that in my wildest dreams...after doing it once :)


269 posted on 01/03/2005 10:07:32 AM PST by FreedomHasACost
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To: Nataku X
Mom carried around her big wooden spoon in her purse and pulled it out if we even thought about acting up. Sure got us quiet in a hurry. LOL

My grandma successfully raised 10 functional kids, and when she needed swat one of them on the butt, she would first take the time to stick her hand in a usually cold sinkful of dishwater and then yank their pants down to their bare butt before swatting them with a wet hand. A wet hand on a bare butt magnifies the "effect" of a spanking.

270 posted on 01/03/2005 10:08:20 AM PST by hispanarepublicana (Miss Free Republic High School-198?)
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To: longtermmemmory
...focus more on why marriage AS AN INSTITTUION is centered on children.

Well said.

Liberals have a habit of using rare exceptions to prove what they think should be the norm for everyone.

271 posted on 01/03/2005 10:09:04 AM PST by EternalVigilance (Shaking nine point oh - With a deadly wave goodbye - oh four departed...)
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To: hispanarepublicana

i agree with you completely. i have 3 kids and i have absolutely no problem relating to other freepers, kids or not. sharing a life philosophy is so much more important than just having kids or not having kids, in common. now i got christmas cards from two girlfriends who are not married and do not have children and who also do NOT share my political philosophy. i was struck by the fact that i have NOTHING in common with them, and i think it has more to do with the different philosophy than it does about their lack of kids.


272 posted on 01/03/2005 10:09:07 AM PST by xsmommy
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To: MikeWUSAF

---
My wife and I have been married for 6 years now and do not have children because we are trying to finish college.
---

You can do both. I did. Children need fewer material things than many adults think they do.


273 posted on 01/03/2005 10:09:23 AM PST by frgoff
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To: Quilla
My husband worked with and developed a friendship with a gentleman twenty years ago. He had two children. After his wife died, the man lived alone and soon could no longer care for himself. My husband cooked every meal he ate, cleaned his house, bought his groceries, literally, did everything for the man.

I can totally relate to what you say. I befriended a woman in a similar state -- bought groceries, took her to church, etc. When she complained about her back hurting I bought her a new mattress. She died while I was on vacation/picking up my daughter from college.

This woman's daughter, who lived just a couple miles from her and had refused to even visit her when she was alive, did the one thing her mother feared she would do when she died. The daughter cremated her, because it was cheaper. I don't know what I would've done to help had I been in town. But, I have never known a colder woman in my life. I was told that when she was told that her mother had died, the daughter exclaimed, "Praise the Lord!"

274 posted on 01/03/2005 10:09:27 AM PST by Slyfox
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To: frgoff

LOL!! The suitable parent comment reminded me of my parents. My dad always thought he wasn't a good dad. I think he was a wonderful dad. Meanwhile, during one of the last arguments my mom and I had before we did not talk to each other she told me she was a wonderful mother.


275 posted on 01/03/2005 10:09:47 AM PST by HungarianGypsy
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To: freedumb2003

---
"Most likely." How is having children a selfless act? Most people who have children are expressing the ultimate in selfish megalomania -- they want to make another copy of themselves.
---

Those of us with children are just laughing at your ignorant statement.


276 posted on 01/03/2005 10:10:15 AM PST by frgoff
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To: EternalVigilance
Ramen isn't one of the food groups?
No, silly. Macaroni and cheese is.
277 posted on 01/03/2005 10:10:49 AM PST by HungarianGypsy
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To: DennisR

"Being childless and having abortions are from the same root: selfishness. Period, end of story. If you could have, but do not have, kids, why waste the oxygen? I know this is harsh, but..."

What a load of crap. You can't be a real human being or accomplish great things without having kids?! Ridiculous. By the way, I just had my first child 12/14/04. I'm just not enough of jerk to call people without kids useless oxygen thiefs.


278 posted on 01/03/2005 10:11:02 AM PST by strider44
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To: hispanarepublicana

Interesting... never heard of that spanking method...


279 posted on 01/03/2005 10:12:07 AM PST by Nataku X (There are no converts in Islam... only hostages.)
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To: qam1
The bride and I have been married for over 37 years and have no children, not by choice, rather by bad luck and heartache.

I feel sorry for these selfish people.

280 posted on 01/03/2005 10:12:29 AM PST by metesky ("Brethren, leave us go amongst them." Rev. Capt. Samuel Johnston Clayton - Ward Bond- The Searchers)
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