Fifty years ago, this discussion would not have even taken place. The last fifty years (round number) have turned America upside down.
Fifty years ago, it was just as normal as bacon and eggs for breakfast, that a man and woman married and had children. As it always had been. Why? Were my parents too dull to consider whether or not they were "cut out" to be parents? I think not; though they both came from families of modest means, both had graduated college and both had career prospects - Mama as a teacher and Daddy in finance.
My Daddy was not really "cut out" to be a father. His own died when he was two years old, and in later years, he told me that he had messed up a lot, because his male influences were not so good. So, he realized that he did not have a good ideal for fatherhood. Yes, he messed up a lot. But, he did well enough to bring four children into the world who are also having children and making the world a better place.
Forgive the ramble. But, this is interesting to me, in light of what, fifty years ago was considered, at best sad, and at worst, slightly scandalous; i.e., that a man and woman would marry, and never be blessed with children. I think it speaks to a downward trend in the matters that made us a strong nation.
fwiw
Okay, but where is the "selfishness"?
Fifty years ago, women didn't generally work outside the home. Should we go back to that as "normal"? Well, we'd lose almost half of our workforce if we did.
Perhaps we should go back to horses and buggies? I mean, these days there are just so many gosh darn choices in travel. In my grandpappy's day, we never traveled more than 30 miles from home. So why should we travel more than 30 miles from home today?
There are more choices available to people today in terms of careers, travel, medicine, and, yes, whether or not to have children. You can thank birth control for that.
A hundred years ago, 1/3 of women died in childbirth. I bet many women back then would have decided to have fewer kids or no kids if they had the choice.
There have always been people who were unsuitable as parents, even fifty years ago. Children did get beat up or abused by bad parents. HOwever, the social pressure back then was far greater to have children. That the pressure has been ameliorated, that we acknowledge some people should not be parents, speaks to progress, not scandal.