Dad?
Posted on 01/13/2005 2:17:10 AM PST by sinanju
"I hate money!” the young girl blurted out, her cheeks flushed and quivering. And why not? Money is an issue that plagues New York kids much the way it does the adults raising them. Kids fret over not having enough money, they plot how to wheedle more, they organize social systems around who’s got how much. It’s brutal. Few, however, hate money for the same reason this girl does. Wiping her red-rimmed eyes, she added, “I wish I didn’t have so much!”
[snip]
The predicament of Caitlin’s friend is, for the most part, a perversion unique to extreme wealth—most kids, even in New York, would be thrilled to get $60 a week from their parents. And yet for all its cartoonish pseudo-tragedy, the outburst provides a glimpse into something more universal: the ever-more-powerful role that money—and allowances, in particular—plays in the life of a teenager. Think of the allowance as a metaphor for one of the cruelest ironies adolescents confront: Your ability to act like an adult is still controlled by adults. Talk to kids, and they’ll tell you—how allowances have an incessant way of creeping up on friendships, provoking ire and envy, how they simmer with the potential to stratify friends, even inside stratospheres where that isn’t supposed to happen.
Parents are oppressed by the subject of allowance, too. “I would say that money is the most uncomfortable thing to talk about,” says a parent who’s putting a kid through private school on a salary not designed for such a burden. “Parents are more willing to call each other up and say ‘I understand there was drinking at your house’ or ‘I hear that eighth-grade girls are having sex in the locker room’ than ‘Why are you giving your kid so much money?’ ”
(Excerpt) Read more at newyorkmetro.com ...
You know when I was young (admittedly a while ago) my girl friends and I wanted to be different than everyone else. While everyone was doing drugs, we made the dicision to be drug free. What ever was the fad, we figured out an alternative and went with that. Actually we had a great time. and had lots of friends because we had no prejudices.
Do any of these kids do chores for their allowances. Maybe then it would be more meaningful to them. Or better yet, start a savings account, then they will not have to worry about what their friends have to say.
You know when I was young (admittedly a while ago) my girl friends and I wanted to be different than everyone else. While everyone was doing drugs, we made the dicision to be drug free. What ever was the fad, we figured out an alternative and went with that. Actually we had a great time. and had lots of friends because we had no prejudices.
You should read the whole article through. Some kids do chores. Some kids do zilch. And some kids are making $$$ running afterschool poker games, troubleshooting computers, selling black market smokes (this is NYC, remember) and event-managing weekend parties.
Truth is zanier than fiction (esp. in the Big Apple).
Well admittedly California back then was a bit more laid back than NYC today. Frankly, I don't see how kids can be kids in NYC.
On the other hand, kids today have much greater physical blessings and educational opportunities. But from babyhood, they are assaulted by the pervasive popular media. Their attention span is assaulted, their personal independence is assaulted by the fads of popular culture and from day one they are exposed to the obsessions of a sex-mad culture. I'm not sure I wouldn't rather be a kid in the late 19th century postwar South.
Thanks for posting this-- lots of food for thought. I'm forwarding it to my teenage daughters (18 and 19). New York may be on the far end of the scale, but it's not all that different from affluent communities in and around any major city.
We live in a rural rapdily becoming suburban area and it's just as bad here.
Some of our more affluent neighbors' kids were caught being curriers for cocaine dealers.
Gambling rings, promiscuity, abortions......and this was over ten years ago.
I'm glad I dont' know what's going on now with the high schoolers.
Most of these kids are being groomed to either be future leaders or to marry future leaders. This is no joke, they shuttle from school to ballet to tutors, to organized sports and then to after school activities. Figure $30,000 a year for the private school, plus another $1,000 a month for tutors and sports, etc.
When do they have fun?
No child should get an "allowance" life doesn't ALLOW you anything... you earn it, or you don't get it.
My kids are on a commission system, has to earn every penny he gets, has to put at least 10% of it into savings and give the other 10% to charity/church.... the remaining 80% is his to do with as he pleases (within reason)... and he's 7.
Yes kids have to deal with a lot today they didn't just a few generations ago... the bigger problem however isn't the fact that there is just more assaulting them, the larger problem is that parents are doing a far worse job raising them.
How many folks gripe about whats on TV.. yet make sure they have super extended cable with all the extras and premium channels in their homes? And then leave their kids alone hours every day to sit in front of the idiot box?
How many folks do you know think they are good parents, yet their kids have TV's, DVD/VCR,Computers, Telephones in their bedrooms and use them unsupervised??
Parenting is a full time job, and far too many folks are far too libertine and phone it in... and then blame society when their kids wind up in trouble.
Bingo. I know plenty of parents who are like this with their kids, and I'll never understand it. Our kids have computers in their rooms, but no internet access unless I allow it through the wireless router for a specific purpose. I monitor the router logs. Definitely no Instant Messaging. No bedroom TVs or telephones either. MTV, VH1, and BET are all permanently locked-out, and I've got a rating-based password control on all other channels. No "premium" movie channels. On top of all that, we limit their viewing time.
Parents today are either just too damned lazy or self-absorbed to pay attention to what their kids are doing. Then when they get in trouble, they blame it on anything or anyone but themselves. Latch-keying kids is NEVER a good idea, at ANY age.
Dad?
No taxes yet, other than the sales tax he has to pay when he spends the money. Don't worry though, he'll learn that one too.
I believe the article detailed their "fun," such as it is. In many cases these are the very competitive kids of very competitive parents. Now, you can look at it as a hideous situation, which would not be untruthful. This would roughly fall into line with "idle hands" being the devil's workshop, and keep in mind that the workshop is well stocked in NYC. And even so, many of these kids will fail in spectacular ways. Many kids of the rich and powerful are burned out by their late teen years and working as waiters or "remittance men" living in L.A. or Hawaii.
Disclaimer: Opinions posted on Free Republic are those of the individual posters and do not necessarily represent the opinion of Free Republic or its management. All materials posted herein are protected by copyright law and the exemption for fair use of copyrighted works.