Yes, popular culture is to blame for her tragic circumstances.
WHEN WILL THOSE SOCIAL MISCREANTS IN HOLLYWOOD EVER LEARN???!!!
(Prolonged eye roll.)
But...but...Michelle Malkin said it so it must be true! Darn Hollywood weirdos, forcing these poor kids to slice themselves! It's EVIL! BAN HOLLYWOOD! BAN IT, I SAY!
/sarcasm
I see you cut right to the heart of the issue, G. Sharp eyes, sharp mind ...
At first glance, my initial thoughts at reading this article would've been pretty close to many of your own comments. "broken home", "divorce", "medication", "never asked her what she wanted", etc ad nauseum.
Guess what? I'm the parent who wrote the letter to Michelle Malkin. Those quotes are from my very long letter to her asking her to expose this "trend" and open parents' eyes to it. I was of the "not my daughter: she's smarter than that!" crowd.
That letter came from feeling I was at the end of my rope and the school was going to cover its ass. Which it is doing. They won't even alert parents to the epidemic in some kind of vague newsletter. No assemblies at the school. It worked at my school: discussing eating disorders: many kids came forward after to talk and out themselves and ask for help.
We discovered our daughter was cutting this way: the internet. My husband found out she had a hidden email account from work. Noone saw her arms and legs, noone detected it before that. When he gave me the email address, I got in it and found her web site. NOONE DISCOVERED SHE WAS CUTTING BY SEEING THE CUTS ON HER ARMS! Yes I bear blame for that. We all thought she wore long sleeve shirts because she was embarrassed that she is developing so quickly. Plus - it's another fashion thing.
I called her dad and told him what I found on her website and email. His reaction? "Oh, it's just to show off - to look cool." I told him to look at her arms. He laughed at me - until he did. Two hours later she was in the car with my husband. She is out of school all this week at least until we can find out why she is doing this.
I bear plenty of blame and guilt for what she is doing to herself. Feel free to flame me for being a bad parent. I have always tried to do right by her. I don't give her everything she wants - I can't. Discipline is limited because she has never needed it. Imagine that! A teen who doesn't talk back? I was so touched by it all.
I won't go into the details of every little thing I have tried to do and done for her, but suffice it to say I can cover these points many of you have made:
It is a broken home in the traditional sense, yes. Her dad and I do not live together, nor have we ever. Since she was born we have lived apart. I am married - for the past 7 years and we have a little one here too. Her dad remarried as well - also around 7 years ago - they have 2 more little ones.
She is a survivor of abortion: as in I was counseled to abort her because I would be a single mom. I didn't. I CHOSE to keep her.
She has never been on medication of any kind for depression, anxiety, etc. Nor been counseled for any of the above.
She has been asked often what she wants - about everything in life. Living, school, etc. All of it.
She was taught it was okay to lie to me by her dad. "Don't tell your mom I'm letting you do this thing she is morally against." No wonder she lied to all of us about this.
I probably didn't cover all of the comments directed at "me", the mom - there were many. But there is more going on here than just a broken home.
She is being validated by her friends who cut. By the music they all listen to. Check out "The Used: Cut Up Angels". They copy the lyrics again and again to each other on their own "blogs". They feel they are not alone when they tell their friends they cut - and they all are doing it. The most popular girl in school? Well she has all the boys, the razors, the suspensions... She's COOL! That boy she liked? He went for the girl who cuts herself.
I get: "Well I don't do it deep." "I started it just to see what it was like." "I'm not addicted". I get from her private writings: "My cuts are muy mallo (sp?), up to 55 now. I guess I'll catch up to (popular girl's name here who is "dating" the guy she likes.).
I bear a lot of the blame - and guilt for this. Does she cut herself because she feels helpless to help me get better myself? (I have MS). Is it the cancer I had before this that hurt her?
But I refuse to act like she can be fixed in therapy - with drugs - and she can just go back to that school and be all right. It takes more than that. I don't know what we're going to do. We're talking a lot.. and a little. Letting her know even if she doesn't like it - we're going to do what's BEST for her as best we can.