It's the Parenting, Stupid

A new Barna survey is shedding some light on why some Christian children are losing their faith in modern-day America – it's the parenting, stupid.

Conducted by the California-based research organization in November, the poll asked over 1,000 American adults (comprised of 707 parents, including 366 self-identified born-again Christians) various questions relating to parenting and how best to raise the next generation. Tragically, the survey highlighted one disturbing fact: When it comes to parenting, there is little difference between Christians and unbelievers.

George Barna, who spearheaded the research project, didn't mince words in his rundown of the poll's results: "You might expect that parents who are born-again Christians would take a different approach to raising their children than did parents who have not committed their life to Christ – but that was rarely the case."

Barna's findings paint a bleak picture. Only one out of every five parents identified instilling a set of religious beliefs as an important part of raising children. Almost double the percentage of parents ranked a good education as a more desired goal for their children than having a meaningful relationship with Jesus Christ. When asked what makes a parent successful, only 4 percent identified prayer as an integral part of parenting and a scant 1 percent pointed to good character.

Even exclusively among Christians, the numbers were startling. "Only three out of 10 born-again parents included the salvation of their child in the list of critical parental emphases," Barna said.

Should that fact surprise us, seeing how enmeshed the Christian family has become with secularized culture? Examine most Christian households and you will find little difference between them and families composed of unbelievers. Fathers and mothers are still absent from the home from 7 in the morning to 6 in the evening; children are still plopped in day-care facilities until they are old enough to be shipped off to public school; teenagers are still expected to learn more from their peers than their parents; and the media are still greater implanters of values than the Bible.

Scripture continually warns believers to avoid conformity to secular ways. In Romans 12:2, the Apostle Paul encouraged the brethren to resist the pattern of the world and allow their minds to be renewed by the power of God. In 1 Peter 2:9, followers of Jesus Christ are called "sojourners and pilgrims" in the world and are encouraged to "abstain from fleshly lusts which war against the soul, having your conduct honorable among the Gentiles, that when they speak against you as evildoers, they may, by your good works which they observe, glorify God in the day of visitation."

The American family is a fractured institution. The godless ideology espoused by post-modernists has served to shackle mankind to the evil of this world. Many are searching for answers beyond the emptiness humanism and atheism grant. In such an atmosphere, Christians have the unparalleled opportunity to display the transforming power that a relationship with God can have on the family. But it takes guts and firm commitment to raise children differently from the rest of the world. Although the blame for a child's unbelief cannot be laid at the foot of every parent, fathers and mothers do possess the greatest human influence in shaping their child's worldview.

Benjamin Franklin defined insanity as doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results. Today, Christian parents are exposing their children to the same influences as the rest of society – the same distorted public education system, the same lurid popular culture, the same false morality, the same humanistic philosophies – and yet they are expecting different results. Why should we be surprised when Christian youth recklessly abandon their faith in high school and college? Parents have immersed them more in the values of popular culture than in the values of Christianity.

After all, what do parents gain if they win a thousand souls to Christ but neglect to commit the time and energy necessary to evangelize their own children?

Bribing children into coming to church one Sunday out of each month is not enough. Depending on the church to take the place of parental spiritual teaching is not enough. Expecting a public school to teach your children anything other than relativistic humanism is not enough. Sticking them in a church youth group or shipping them off to a Christian private school is not enough. Even regulating their media intake is not enough. Why? Because God does not promise salvation or change through grudging obedience but through a meaningful relationship with Jesus Christ.

That's the greatest gift parents can give to their child. In our post-modern age of fractured families and disintegrating familial relationships, it's not just the best hope for real change – it's the only hope.

You don't have to believe in the bible, but you have no right to dictate other's devotion to it. No one's forcing you to believe it, so why do you complain because they do believe? How is that in any way your business? You are PREACHING the perceived shortcomings of other's as you claim they do to you. That's intolerance. They have as much right to their opinion as you do to your's whether you like or agree with it. And as far as willingness to listen to other opinions, People in glass houses...

"This is but one thread on the board, which you were not forced to participate if you did not agree."

So if I do not agree, I am not welcome to participate? I should just leave?

You have just made my point for me. The thread is mean-spirited and narrow-minded in its assumptions...that only a certain type of Christian is capable of being a good parent. And it is precisely this message--agree with me or get lost--that will drive people from conservatism, if voices like yours are permitted to define it. It is something to think about.

Not one post said ANYTHING about non-Christians until someone posted erroneously(your use of this word proves that you are the judgemental one. It proves that you are intolerant. By using that word, you are saying that one CANNOT be a good person if one does not follow your chosen belief system. How arrogant.) that you do not have to be religious to be a good person.

I posted that because of the following statements, as well as others, that were within the story that, according to you, I was not welcome to discuss.

"Tragically, the survey highlighted one disturbing fact: When it comes to parenting, there is little difference between Christians and unbelievers."

"Barna's findings paint a bleak picture"

I am a stay at home mother of three. I find it highly offensive, which is why I posted originally, that this article uses words like "tragic" and "bleak" to describe the fact that Christians' parenting is no different than mine, an unbeliever. Thanks for the label, by the way. The entire article is premised on the fact that a true Cristian is a far superior parent than someone like me. I guarantee if there was a thread discussing the assumption that Buddists were much better people than Christians, you would be offended. And perhaps you would post. And perhaps Buddists would tell you you were not welcome to say a thing, because the post was about them, not you. Get my point?

Who dismissed an entire group

The article did, by calling my parenting skills tragic.

so called conservatives who call for censorship and political correctness

So now you insult my politics, as well. So called conservatives? If you would go back and reread my posts, I never once discussed anything even close to censorship or p.c. All I said was that people like you should stop judging people like me. Most who responded were quite kind and civil. I suppose there is always one in the bunch who will prove my point for me.

only the non-Christians were attacking Christian belief

I did not attack anyone.

you have no right to dictate other's devotion to it

My words, post 39;I respect your faith, and your devotion to it

"Not one post said ANYTHING about non-Christians until someone posted erroneously(your use of this word proves that you are the judgmental one. It proves that you are intolerant. By using that word, you are saying that one CANNOT be a good person if one does not follow your chosen belief system. How arrogant.) that you do not have to be religious to be a good person."

What's intolerant is your inability to accept that others have different beliefs than you do. I did not say you were unwelcome to discuss anything, you seem the only one unwilling to discuss because all you have done is attack and complain because some people don't agree with you. And as for the label, Unbeliever, who said that? Maybe you should reread the post.

"your use of this word proves that you are the judgmental one. It proves that you are intolerant. By using that word, you are saying that one CANNOT be a good person if one does not follow your chosen belief system. How arrogant.)"

And your continued attacks and complaints prove that you are the intolerant and arrogant one. When you expect to be treated in one way and then treat others in exactly the opposite, that is a double standard, which is EXTREMELY ARROGANT. Your opinion is not a fact, and you have no right to impose them on others. You can disagree, but demanding that others agree with you is intolerant.

"so called conservatives who call for censorship and political correctness

So now you insult my politics, as well. So called conservatives?"

Uh, Is your user-name lieutenant columbo? That post was not directed to you but a response to lieutenant columbo's post.

"only the non-Christians were attacking Christian belief

I did not attack anyone.

you have no right to dictate other's devotion to it

My words, post 39;I respect your faith, and your devotion to it"

Actions speak louder than words. You say you respect others faith and their devotion here, yet your posts do not reflect that. I am also a stay at home Mom and do not like when ANYONE on ANY subject think that they have a right to dictate what everyone should believe and then claim the other side is intolerant.

I find it highly offensive, which is why I posted originally, that this article uses words like "tragic" and "bleak" to describe the fact that Christians' parenting is no different than mine, an unbeliever.

Your parenting is not supposed to produce Christian children. That is not your intent, and you do not believe that you have a sacred commission from God, on which your eternal salvation may well depend, to do so.

Christians believe all of those things, or at least they're supposed to. If there is no difference between Christian parenting and your own, that is indeed tragic from a Christian perspective, because it means that Christian parents are failing in their most important mission, that of passing on the faith to their children.

Why is that observation offensive to you?

Your original...
"I respond because this is a POLITICAL discussion board, not a narrowly Christian board (and by the way, I am Presbyterian, as though that should matter)."

My response...
"This is but one thread on the board, which you were not forced to participate if you did not agree."

Your second response...
"So if I do not agree, I am not welcome to participate? I should just leave?"

That makes no sense! You claim that you responded because this is a Political Board, by the way, who are you to claim that? This is a CONSERVATIVE board for CONSERVATIVES to discuss things that are important to them, which includes religion for some. Anyway, I then point out that you didn't have to join the discussion if you didn't agree. That's it.
So who are you to add meaning to my words? That statement says nothing about you being unwelcome or that you should leave. And as for mean-spirited and closed minded, who then is making assumptions?

Please see post # 30.

To Free2BeMe;

Actions speak louder than words

Ummm, these have all been words. Poor phrase choice. I have not asked anyone to change their beliefs. All I have done is expressed my opinion. You are too defensive.

And as for the label, Unbeliever, who said that? Maybe you should reread the post.

Quote from the article; "When it comes to parenting, there is little difference between Christians and unbelievers". Oh, the horror! Good thing I reread the post.

Uh, Is your user-name lieutenant columbo

Uh, no, but you are being just as crappy to him as you are to me, so I thought I'd address it anyway.

attack and complain; your inability; continued attacks and complaints; you are the intolerant and arrogant; EXTREMELY ARROGANT

I know you are, but what am I?

This conversation with you, Free, has become tiresome. I have no problem with your religious beliefs. I have a problem with you. Respond if you want to. I won't read it.

"I know you are, but what am I?"

How absolutely immature and ridiculous. Are you serious? If that is the best argument you have no wonder you won't respond again.

The point I was making with the phrase, Actions speak louder than words, is that you play lip service that "I respect your faith..." yet your posts do not reflect that. It's a figure of speech that I believe fit the scenario.

"that this article uses words like "tragic" and "bleak" to describe the fact that Christians' parenting is no different than mine, an unbeliever. Thanks for the label, by the way."

You must not have reread your own post then, because you stated "Thanks for the label, by the way" and the post was directed to me, not the author of the ARTICLE.

It's too bad that you have a problem with me, I have rather enjoyed our discussion and disagreement, in spite of your rudeness.

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