Posted on 03/08/2005 2:18:36 PM PST by JFK_Lib
....Domestic abuse can and does happen to women of all ages, races, and socioeconomic and educational backgrounds. Although abuse happens to men and to same-sex partners, domestic violence usually involves men abusing their female partners. In fact, the Department of Health and Human Services estimates that as many as 4 million women suffer abuse from their husbands, ex-husbands, boyfriends or intimate partners in the United States each year.
Domestic abuse — also called domestic violence, intimate partner violence or battering — occurs between people in intimate relationships. It takes many forms, including coercion, threats, intimidation, isolation, and emotional, sexual and physical abuse. ....
Emotional abuse. Uses put-downs, insults, criticism or name-calling to make you feel bad about yourself. Intimidation. Uses certain looks, actions or gestures to instill fear. The abuser may break things, destroy property, abuse pets or display weapons. ..... Privilege. Makes all major decisions, defines the roles in your relationship, is in charge of the home and social life, and treats you like a servant or possession.
(Excerpt) Read more at cnn.com ...
This ridiculous definition is so overly broad that it could apply to any highly emotional argument where tempers are lost and ugly things said that later one regrets.
And of course the deck is stacked against men by the statement that this is usually a case of men abusing women, so according to them if a heated argument gets a neighbors call into the cops, they can presume that the man is responsible - statistics, ya know, say he most likely did start it anyway.
Also Biblical patriarchal family structures are by definition abusive, and if it is a case where the woman leaves her family and adopts a radical feminist point of view, she has the vantage of the law defining the more ambiguous fine points from the victims point of view and the accused must prove their innocense (hah, good luck in any domestic court today).
Men are being suppressed in this country and many conservatives are accelerating the process, for example, Sean Hannity should never promote Gloria Allred, no matter what as she is the author of much of this type of legislation and the feminist criminalization of much of natural male behavior.
The dems and fems, though, NEED the public to buy the DV argument, because they need a society where everyone can consider themselves a victim.
"So CNN is broadening the definition of domestic violence to include not only trivial slapping but also insults, gestures, even mere looks, or controling the checkbook. "
Talk about torquing the statistics to "prove" a point. While men who abuse their "domestic partners" are more likely to commit murder than women who abuse, more than 60% of abuse is perpetrated on men by women. There are a lot of statistics around, some from the same DHHS reveal that 2/3 of the abuse charges filed by women GOING THROUGH A DIVORCE are later proved unfounded.
The other untold statistic is that the huge majority of men who commit "domestic violence" against women are NOT MARRIED TO THEM. It's the live-in boyfriends who do most of the damage, but all men are blamed.
This is not to say that men are blameless angels. No way. But a lot of good guys get shredded to pieces in court because judges and even juries are predisposed to consider them guilty just because they are men.
I note that the story implies that "Domestic Violence" is a woman being victimized by a man. In many cases it is the man being victimized by the woman.
Insults, gestures or "mere looks"?
PCBS.
That being said, my hubby knows better than to abuse me...I'd kick his butt.
By trivial I mean a slap that is not full force and often a warranted response to outrageous statements and behavior.
And if you dont want someone to slap you dont provoke them into it in that way.
I have seen both men and women slapped quite justifiably.
But my point is that it does not merit jail time, and were I ever on a jury where a person were on trial for such a thing there is no way I would vote for conviction, period. And I would stick to it till hell froze over.
Don't ask SE Mom, ask JFK_Lib. He (?) is the one using the phrase, NOT CNN. So tell us JFK_Lib, WTF is 'trivial slapping'????
I agree. I think if we had accountability in churches where any family member could go for help we would see real changes in families.
Violence is never an appropriate response in a relationship. Or, is there some force level like 75% or 80% at which it becomes non-trivial.
If a man ever hit me, he'd be gone right then.
My husband's ex used to say horrible, hateful things to him and he never slapped her. And he shouldn't have. He is a better person than she is and if he had chosen to slap her because she insulted him, he would have proven himself to be just as childish as she is.
So CNN is broadening the definition of domestic violence to include not only trivial slapping but also insults, gestures, even mere looks, or controling the checkbook.
As usual, they mix raw numbers like "4 million" right in with percentages. Domestic violence among married couples comes in last in frequency behind live-in lesbians, male homosexuals and unmarried heterosexuals. So, while the "4 million" number MIGHT possibly be accurate, it cleverly conceals the proportionality since there's a much larger universe of married heterosexuals than any of the other groups.
Somehow, bullies only "slap" those who can't "slap" back. May I assume you're not married?
And if you don't want someone to slap you dont provoke them into it in that way.
Me either, SE Mom. So, no matter how much Mr. Gun begs me to spank him, I just won't do it......
Domestic violence advice for abused men. "Admit its all your fault and you made her violent. Just surrender yourself to your local jail."
Regarding the umbrage taken at you for saying 'trivial slaps'...Well, no, of course one should not engage in any level of violence if possible but should a 'trivial slap' or a normal slap result in you (a man in 99% of the cases, because a woman would not usually be arrested for slapping a man) being handcuffed, lose your children, your home, etc.? This is what happens throughout the US today to any man unlucky enough to get on the wrongside of his female partner because of the patently unfair domestic violence laws, in particular the Violence Against Women Act (VAWA) which funds a well entrenched industry harmful to men.
VAWA is up for refunding (so far 3.3 billion in 5 years) this year. Hopefully the law will be defunded.
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