Posted on 03/08/2005 7:14:56 PM PST by brigada
Edited on 03/08/2005 7:17:20 PM PST by Sidebar Moderator. [history]
"worship fee"
Churches have all kinds of creative, cutesy ways of saying "donation." "Love offering" is one. Kind of reminiscent of David Stockman's "revenue enhancement" for taxes.
That said, "worship fee" sounds particularly obnoxious.
My assumption is she's a closet lawyer and meant to object.
Well, then, objection sustained! Or overruled. I can't keep those straight.
I'm working on a few script ideas for him.
Working titles:
Passion II: Freddy v. Jesus
Passion II: Electric Boogaloo
Passion II: The Color of Money
Passion II: Trail of the Pink Passion
Passion II: Look Who's Crucified Too
Passion II: Jesus and Robin
Passion II: The Jar Jar Binks Story
Objection sustained is where one client gets screwed. Objection overruled is where the other one does.
Any time you hear them shout "Objection!" you know at least three lawyers are making a buck, and a client is getting fleeced.
My hero in action:
Lionel Hutz: I move for a bad court thingy.
Judge: You mean a mistrial?
Hutz: Yeah, that's why you're the judge and I'm the law-talking guy.
Judge: The lawyer?
Hutz: Yeah.
I love Hutz...his secretary slays me:
Hutz: Any calls Della?
Della: Calls? Oh calls. The Supreme Court called again.
Hutz: Tell them to sit tight. I'll get back to them.
Della: The Supreme Court called again. They need your help on some freedom thing.
Hutz: Now don't you worry, Mrs. Simpson, I - uh-oh. We've drawn Judge Snyder.
Marge: Is that bad?
Hutz: Well, he's kind of had it in for me, since I accidently ran over his dog. Actually, replace `accidently' with `repeatedly', and replace `dog' with `son'.
Marge: So, Mr. Hutz, does my husband have a case?
Hutz: I'm sorry, Mrs. Simpson, but you can't copyright a drink.
Homer: [whines] Oh!
Hutz: This all goes back to the Frank Wallbanger case of '78. How about that! I looked something up! These books behind me don't just make the office look good, they're filled with useful legal tidbits just like that!
Dr. Hibbert: Now, regardless of what this thing is, it's a priceless scientific find. So our most pressing concern now is to determine who owns such a valuabe skeleton,and I'd like to suggest that I do.
Mel: I'd like to hear from Lionel Hutz!
Hutz: It's a thorny legal issue all right. I'll need to
refer to the case of Finders v. Keepers.
Hutz: Now Mr. Nahasapeemapetilon, if that is your real name.
Have you ever forgotten anything?
Apu: No. In fact I can recite pi to 40,000 places.
And the last digit is 1.
Homer: Mmm... pie.
Hutz: Well if you never forget anything. Tell me this. What color tie am I wearing? [turns around]
Apu: You are wearing a red and white club tie in a half-windsor knot.
Hutz: Oh, I am, am I? Is that what you think? Well if that's what you think, I have something to tell you [ugh]. Something which may shock and discredit you [ugh]. And that thing is as follows [as he finally undoes the whole tie]. I'm not wearing a tie at all. [jury gasps]
Apu: If I am wrong about that. Maybe I am wrong about Mrs. Simpson.
Hutz: No further questions. [Hutz raises his arm and the tie is sticking out of his sleeve]
Marge: Homer! Are you all right?
Homer: [meekly] No.
Hutz: Mr. Simpson, don't you worry. I watched Matlock in a bar last night. The sound wasn't on, but I think I got the gist of it.
I'll have you know the contents of that dumpster are private! You stick your nose in, you'll be violating attorney-dumpster confidentiality!
Hutz: All right gentleman. I will take your case. But I will require a thousand dollar retainer.
Bart: A thousand dollars. But your ad says "no money down".
Hutz: Oh, they got this all screwed up. [corrects ad with felt-marker]
Bart: So you don't work on a contingency basis?
Hutz: No, money down. Oops, I shouldn't have the Bar Association logo here either. [Hutz eats ad]
Hutz: Now Mr. Lampwick. When Rogers Meyers stole your character...
Attorney: Objection.
Judge: Sustained.
Hutz: Ugh. If I hear "objection" and "sustained" one more time today I think I am going to scream.
Attorney: Objection.
Judge: Sustained.
Hutz: Argh!
"you lived with Heavenly Father as a spirit before you were born."
No, the Bible says we did not live with God before we existed. Before we existed, we did not exist. The Bible denies that we live as immaterial beings prior to being a physical being. Counterfeit religions Mormons teach that error, but not Christianity, nor Judaism.
A TV spot tonight said "The Passion" will start playing again this Friday!!
Does he make movies? *Grins*
Good Morning!
(If it had been verable, instead of typed, you'd have heard me SPUTTERING!!!!)
I seriously doubt that. Catholics think (accurately) that LTS is a sect founded by a snake oil salesman.
Where do people come up with this stuff?
That is a rhetorical question :>
Something called "The Passion Recut" was advertised in the NY Times as starting soon. The original but less focused on gore. Anyone know anything about this?
Dante's Divine Comedy
verible
furrball
or
VERBLE!!!!
'twas twillig in the mimsywabe....
Depends on what you mean by Scripture!
They have WRITNGS and SAYINGS that are NOT found in the BoM.
Not ONLY do you have to believe that the Bible we have today was 'editted' (ahem) by church leadership thru the ages, but the 'completed work' needed a bit more stuff added by Joseph Smith and others!
There are OTHER 'beliefs' that only the TRUE seekers find out: in their Temple Ceremonies.
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Hey Rev, isn't this how the Free Methodists got here? ;-)
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