Posted on 03/10/2005 2:13:48 PM PST by SwinneySwitch
If Hector David Herrera Martinez had been a better driver, he might not be facing a charge of smuggling bulk currency.
If he hadn't been traveling in a passing lane without passing any cars, if he hadn't abruptly slowed to 40 mph in a 65-mph zone, if he hadn't suddenly pulled off the road, I'm sure nobody would have noticed that stashed in his 1987 Lincoln Town Car was $283,473.
Unfortunately for Martinez, a Kimble County sheriff's deputy took notice and stopped him near Junction.
And that's when Martinez had to explain where he got the money.
Somebody, he told the officer, left it on his doorstep.
I don't know if that somebody was the tooth fairy who couldn't find Martinez's pillow.
I don't know if that somebody was Santa Claus who couldn't find the chimney.
I don't know if that somebody was the Easter Bunny who couldn't find any tall grass.
All I know is that somebody left something on the front porch around Valentine's Day, and it wasn't chocolate.
Last week, a federal grand jury in San Antonio indicted Martinez, and I really feel for the guy.
The last time somebody left a quarter of a million dollars on my doorstep, I made it all the way to the bank without getting thrown in jail. Most people do.
For some reason, though, Martinez found it difficult to calmly transport the gross national product of Bangladesh across Texas. According to the arrest report, he shook. He trembled. Now he's in the clink when he could be living large in a Third World country.
Poor guy. If only he had a little more cool. If only he didn't have so much company.
People who drive oddly draw police attention all the time. Some get stopped for making an improper turn and get busted for possession of cocaine. Others get pulled over for failing to yield, and get charged with carrying stolen goods.
Recently, officers stopped a 36-year-old man they saw going the wrong way on an I-37 access road.
Inside the 2005 Cadillac Escalade of Raul Hernandez, police found DVDs, video games and dozens of wallets and purses. Later, police found computers, printers, scanners, more DVDs and more than $69,000 at Hernandez's home. He told police he made the money by selling illegally reproduced movies.
It should be noted that police had been watching Hernandez. But they didn't pull him over until he began driving like he was nuts.
Tip to readers: If you're driving with suspicious or illegal goods, don't go the wrong way on a one-way street.
That brings me back to Martinez. He wasn't as reckless on the road as Hernandez. But Martinez did make some mistakes.
Here are some lessons to be gleaned from his arrest.
One: If you are in a passing lane with $283,473 in your car, make sure you pass another car.
Two: If an officer pulls you over and asks if he can search your vehicle, do not say "yes" when you've got more money in your trunk than your boss has in the bank.
Three: If a sheriff's deputy asks what's inside your big suitcase, do not say "presents" when there's a safe filled with $100 bills.
Four: If you are asked where you got the cash, do not say "on my doorstep" then change your mind and say "it belongs to my brother" and later sign a statement declaring that you're sticking with your first story.
That raises suspicions.
Five: If asked where you are headed, do not say "El Paso" when you're nowhere near the road that leads there.
Six: If asked where you are from, do not say "Bartlesville, Oklahoma," when you are an undocumented immigrant from Mexico.
Seven: The next time someone leaves 200 grand on your front porch, head for the bank and drive carefully. And if a car with flashing lights pulls you over, come up with a good story.
I-just-won-the-lottery is better than somebody-left-this-on-my-doorstep. It might even keep you out of jail.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------- To contact Ken Rodriguez, call (210) 250-3369 or e-mail krodriguez@express-news.net. His column appears on Sundays, Wednesdays and Fridays.
http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/f-news/1356224/posts?page=1,20
Criminal Genius alert.
Apparently the drug dealers know more about banking laws than this reporter.
And he is guilty of what crime? Having more money in his car than he is supposed to? What is the cutoff for having too much money on you at any given time?
On what basis was his vehicle searched and did they get as warrant?
Or doesn't anyone care about the Constitution?
If I were the police, I'd say 1-5,000 starts getting into the suspicious activity range. Unless you're Jack Whitaker ($300m powerball winner from WV).
Somebody-left-it-on-my-doorstep #2 ping!
Please let me know if you want on or off this South Texas/Mexico ping list.
They asked. He did not have to say yes.
Sweating.
Two: If an officer pulls you over and asks if he can search your vehicle, do not say "yes" when you've got more money in your trunk than your boss has in the bank.
Well sure its suspicious, but does that make it a crime?
There's a lot of sound advice in that article.
Why, I transfered 8K in cash from one of my bank accounts to the other a few months back so I could save the service charges for the cashiers checks.
Just don't do it too often, or the money-laundering taskforce will be on your doorstep, instead of a quarter-million dollars!
"And he is guilty of what crime?"
Not necessarily....but probable cause/suspicion.
Or doesn't anyone care about the Constitution?"
Before you guys get your panties in constitutional wad, read the stories a little better - the guy was an "undocumented immigrant".
As such, he should have no rights anyhow. Now we get to feed and house him.
"They asked. He did not have to say yes."
Reading comprehension, it's good thing! LOL
If an individual accountholder were to deposit two hundred plus thousand into their private checking account in one go, I guarantee you that his account would be flagged and the Feds would be notified ASAP.
A better idea would be to convert the cash to collectible gold coins, sew them into your clothes, drive to Mexico or hire a boat to Brazil, and then slowly sell the coins off to collectors or dealers on an as-needed, cash-only, face-to-face basis. Even so, you're probably going to attract attention. It's hard to make two hundred thousand dollars dissappear.
Another option: Hire two hundred illegal immigrants to each send a $1000 giro (money order) to their relatives in Mexico. Go to Mexico and have the relatives cash the money orders in. Pay the families 5% ($200 each) for their trouble. Total cost $40,000, but you'd be damned near untraceable.
Another option: Hide the cash in your attic and spend it a little at a time. As long as your lifestyle stays the same and you make no deposits no one will notice anything funny. Downside: if you suddenly buy that sixty-foot cabin crusier, the gig is up.
Another option: Buy a gun, go to the Mexican border and cross illegally. Once in Mexico, dump the gun, then use the cash to purchase Mexican identity papers plus as many politicians, cops and judges as you need to keep inquistive types from snooping around. Mexico is full of generous foreigners with a penchant for privacy. Extra credit: establish a legitimate business in Mexico and use it to whitewash your cash. Put Mexico's traditional corruption to work for you!
There just aren't very many legal ways to obtain $200,000 in cash in the United States. We use checks and transfers to handle legit money in such amounts. If you dump over five grand in cash into a bank account in the U.S. you might as well stamp DRUG MONEY on every bill before you hand it to the teller. Carry big cash in the U.S. and you ARE going to be checked up on. That's a guarantee.
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