I have been through a similar exercise - it is a hard task, and ought to remain so.
But I am more than a little frightened by the casual ease that many express about an explicit living will. They do not understand that such simple statements as "no tubes/wires" have the force of law when placed there, and can prevent even the most transient use of temporary support measures, such as a drain, a catheter, or even a heart monitor, that CANNOT be overridden by permission from the family.
Living Wills are largely ignored by the Medical Community for several reasons. They are akin to Large blanket that covers no "stitches".
The "blanket" unravels as quickly as someone attempts to pick up the 'threads'.
Most Americans are so ill informed that they don't know about Hippas (always get the sp. and apostrophe wrong!)
Essentially, any adult near and dear to you (including Spouses) are NO to have legal access regarding your true Medical condition / and or "records" unless you sign a "HIPPA" release designated to that specific person.
When my Mother was dying of Alzheimer's and finally had to be institutionalized, at least I could call every few hours and someone would check on her and update me.
When My Dad recently succumbed to Adenocarcinoma of the Lung, the hospital took him out of the ACU and then refused to give him all of his requisite "morphine, and assisted dying drugs(sorry, the name of the "A" drug escapes me now)
BECAUSE the 5th floor where "they" had placed him did NOT HAVE THE DESIGNATION TO ADMINISTER THOSE DRUGS!!
WE fought tooth and nail to move him back to ICU, My sister and I darn near caused a small riot.. He died 20 minutes after an elevator ride , three gurney changes etc.. HE WOULD HAVE FLIPPED TO SEE the State of Medicine Today!!
This man brought over 3000 babies into this world, lived among their families, went to their wakes, buried their dead, and did House Calls on top of all!!
To have some big Bull Dyke Nurse with a Bad Attitude tell us that he could "die" on the Hospitals' terms... NOT DAD"S!!
Hello Trial Attorneys, John Edwards etc!
This is not only Justices gone haywire but a Country that has been so IGNORIZED (my own special term) by the Public School System and the Left, that we are, for all intents and purposes, Virtually LOST!