Who's army do you think? The frigging Klingons on a vengence expedition. That's about as bright of an answer as you deserve.
I think you achieved Field Grade in the Army in your head, that's what.
The notion you could have ever been a Major in my Army is laughable, jb6. I picture you more as the poor sap sent out into the motor pool with a hammer to check for weak spots in the tank's armor than anyone let anywhere near a green tab, and your "I'm Joe roadmarch" posts merely confirm that impression.