Posted on 04/02/2005 4:36:04 AM PST by gobucks
TOo bad they didn't ask me! I've had four, all by natural childbirth, and though it did hurt at the time of birth, it was all but forgotten within an hour or so, NO KIDDING!
I also breastfed all four and it was wonderful! No having to sterilize bottles or fix them in the middle of the night. It's always there and ready!
As far as this man's haranguers are concerned, some folks are too 'sophisticated' for their own good.
You keep telling everyone that they have a right to their opinion (as if we didn't know that), but you choose to argue with every one of them that you don't agree with.
No, I did not say that a doctor wouldn't know to loosen the cord. I'm stating facts. My sister-in-law lost hers at the hospital, I had mine at home safely. Two facts. Period.
Yes, I believe the midwives - what, should I assume they are liars because they aren't MDs? Midwives in Texas are licensed and regulated - believe me, if they had lost a baby, it would be on the record.
I have had 2 babies at hospitals, 3 at home, I was happy with all 5 births.
Like I said, it's a PERSONAL decision. Your choice doesn't make you a better person either way.
*I* am willing to let people make their own decisions without arguing with them. Why don't you??
"And forgive her for the possible nasty castration comments that may be uttered during a particularly hard contraction."
Unless it was rape, I assume she had been an willing participant in conception.
People often feel like they are helping by telling someone else how to do something. It's like building a deck and the neighbor comes over, sits in a lawn chair and then helps by giving directions. It's not real help but he's oblivious and even feels good about all the advice he's dispensing. Church ladies (women in general) are no different. If you tell them to mind their own business let me know how it goes.
Since I don't have a vagina, I can't know what the pain is like. I leave that choice to the ladies.
"Oh please, she acknowledged that she snapped at him and felt bad for it. Not every thought and action during labor is a lucid one."
Well, its so nice she felt "bad" for hurting his feelings, making him feel like an outsider, and making him look like a fool in front of the OB staff.
But of course, he's a man so its ok.
One good response would have been - "Is your husband black? No but I am."
A couple we lived near a few years ago adopted I believe 4 bi-racial children from crisis situations. They are an amazing couple. It's so nice to see somebody extending the beautiful love of a family to those who may not have ever had a chance without adoption.
You were maybe expecting a woman in labor to think rationally? LOL!
LOL, wait til your wife breastsfeeds in public. The complaints I got, It is amazing. Will help you find your backbone real fast and tell them off.
You're a man aren't you? The only thing I can think of equivalent to the pain of childbirth is passing a very large kidney stone. See how charitable you feel when you have a big rock passing through your penis. Now as for the staff, staff have heard everything and in a hospital setting it's best if men wait outside. I don't hear these comments coming from women who've had home births but then I've not met every woman.
I scrapped my big long post, it was TMI.
I just wanted to wish you both a blessed birth! I've had both medicated (4) and unmedicated (3) births, in hospital and out. I prefer being at home.
It is striking how defensive people seem to get about particular birth choices, so I have decided against posting more. I'm sure you understand. :-)
I'm a she-Freeper with one boy, now 13. There is considerable pressure on mom and dad regarding the birth of a baby. Kind of like the hospital intern program and 3-day shifts - they paid their dues, and you should, too. Or at least, they should be able to regale you with the very worst of their experiences.
I resisted some - I had a time choice of attending LaMaze classes or parenting classes. I went for the latter - glad of it, too, because we met our very wonderful pediatrician there, and I ended up with a C-section after two hours of pushing. My OB took mercy on me. My son was starting to become stressed, and was leaning on his cord. Fine with me!
BTW, I was very glad that in our pre-delivery day meeting with the OB, that I signed an order for an epidural, just in case. As it turned out, he wasn't available at the moment we needed it, and it all worked out fine.
Just do your thing, say "Thank you - I'll consider it," and move ahead. Everyone will have some piece of advice for you - their way of making a difference, I suppose, in varying degrees of obtrusiveness. :-)
My piece of advice? Get some early videotape ... the noises they make as itty-bitty infants are precious and never to be repeated.
Good luck to you and God bless!
Do you see the irony here?
This whole thread IS unviersally applicable to the opinions he/she oh so disagrees with.
Aahh! Now I get it.
Someone practicing medicine outside of the accepted establishment, such as a home birth and midwife, is a threat to you both financially and authoritatively.
You aren't a bore at all - just a dishonest debator with an agenda.
I think a lot of people are babies these days- everything must be painless and antiseptic and not infringe upon their lifestyle at all. Most notably in the area of baby care- give them a bottle and send them off to daycare so you don't have to feel like you even have a baby for at least 40 hours a week.
I have given birth naturally and without drugs three times and lived to tell the tale. I didn't even scream or swear at anybody, which made my husband happy. Maybe I just have a high tolerance for pain or something, but I really didn't think it was that bad. Having a gall bladder attack was much more excruciating. I nursed all three for 8 months each. That's an experience I think every woman should at least try. The benefits are too great to ignore.
Just ignore all the pushy wimps trying to tell you what to do. If your wife needs something for pain, then she can have it, but don't go into it assuming she HAS to get the epidural. I think mindset has a lot to do with if you get one or not. I assumed I could do it without- and I did!
"You keep telling everyone that they have a right to their opinion (as if we didn't know that), but you choose to argue with every one of them that you don't agree with."
Untrue. What I am pointing out is that they have a right to their beliefs, and I to mine. What I argue with is any impression that either belief has universal applicability.
"No, I did not say that a doctor wouldn't know to loosen the cord. I'm stating facts. My sister-in-law lost hers at the hospital, I had mine at home safely. Two facts. Period."
But your juxtapositionning of those facts is apparently purposed to demonstrate that the care by the midwife was superior to the care given at the hospital. Two differnet deliveries, two completely different problems, yet juxtaposed to imply causation.
"Yes, I believe the midwives - what, should I assume they are liars because they aren't MDs? Midwives in Texas are licensed and regulated - believe me, if they had lost a baby, it would be on the record."
So now you reveal that you checked the offical state records. You didn't tell us that in your prior post. So you maintain that the state of Texas records the deatn rate of babies delivered by midwifes and by doctors? How odd that sounds. Is it listed in such a fashion as "398 deliveries last year. 395 live children, 3 deaths"?
Let's say that the state record [asuming there really ARE such statistics kept]is "clean". Might it be possible in some cases that when a midwife home delivery becomes problematic that the woman is immediately transferred to a hospital where the remainder of the birthing process occurs, and any problem that results is then listed as a "fault" of the medical system? After all, the midwife did what he or she was supposed to, and transferred the case to a hospital; anyproblem thereafter isn't attributable to the midwife!
"Like I said, it's a PERSONAL decision. Your choice doesn't make you a better person either way."
Agreed. Thats why I say you have a right to your opinion, but not a right to imply universal applicability.
Whether I'm a man or not shouldn't affect the validity of my premises. I guess perhaps only women should engage in a discussion of childbirth.
By the way, the pain from a stone is from when it is stuck in the ureter, not the urethra. It has nothing to do with the penis.
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