Posted on 04/11/2005 7:30:08 PM PDT by Diva Betsy Ross
BAYB Bugs BTW!
Like I said...A hostage. :) Hehehehe!
Love the Taliban song by Toby Keith. Thanks for posting, DBR.
A young couple made love in a graveyard one night..
The next day, the lady went to see her Dr because her back was hurting real bad...
The Doctor examined her and said "It's a simple case of backstrain...by the way, aside from your back, are you sure you're feeling alright?"
She says, "Yes, why?"
Doctor: "Because it says on your A$$ you died in 1863!"
LOL! These are from a Doctor Jokes site.
A lady went to the doctor and complained that her husband was losing interest in sex. The doctor gave her a pill, but warned her that it is still experimental. He tells her to slip it in her husband's mashed potatoes at dinner, and so she does just that.
About a week later, she returned back to the doctor's office and said, "That pill worked great. I put it in my husband's mashed potatoes just like you said. It wasn't five minutes later, and he jumped up, raked all the food and dishes on the floor, grabbed me, ripped all my clothes off and ravaged me right there on the table!"
The doctor said, "I'm sorry, we didn't realize that the pill was that strong. The foundation will be glad to pay for any damages."
The lady replied, "Naah. That's okay. We aren't going back to Denny's anyway."
Welcome aboard. Stay and play a while.
We like to have fun.
We don't know what PC means .
TEX!!! Funny.
LETTER FROM A FARM KID, NOW AT SAN DIEGO MARINE CORPS RECRUIT DEPOT.
Dear Ma and Pa:
I am well. Hope you are. Tell Brother Walt and Brother Elmer the Marine Corps beats working for old man Minch by a mile. Tell them to join up quick before maybe all of the places are filled.
I was restless at first because you got to stay in bed till
nearly 6a.m., but am getting so I like to sleep late.
Tell Walt and Elmer all you do before breakfast is smooth your cot and shine some things. No hogs to slop, feed to pitch, mash to mix, wood to split, fire to lay. Practically nothing.
Men got to shave but it is not so bad, there's warm water.
Breakfast is strong on trimmings like fruit juice, cereal, eggs, bacon, etc., but kind of weak on chops, potatoes, ham, steak, fried eggplant, pie and other regular food, but tell Walt and Elmer you can always sit by the two city boys that live on coffee. Their food plus yours holds you till noon when you get fed again.
It's no wonder these city boys can't walk much. We go on "route marches", which the platoon sergeant says are long walks to harden us. If he thinks so, it's not my place to tell him different. A "route march" is about as far as to our mailbox at home. Then the city guys get sore feet and we all ride back in trucks.
The country is nice but awful flat.
The sergeant is like a school teacher! . He nags a lot.
The Capt. is like the school board . Majors and colonels just ride around and frown. They don't bother you none.
This next will kill Walt and Elmer with laughing. I keep
getting medals for shooting. I don't know why. The bulls-eye is near as big as a chipmunk head and don't move, and it ain't shooting at you like the Higgett boys at home. All you got to do is lie there all comfortable and hit it. You don't even load your own cartridges. They come in boxes.
Then we have what they call hand-to hand combat training.
You get to wrestle with them city boys. I have to be real
careful though, they break real easy. It ain't like fighting with that ole bull at home. I'm about the best they got in this except for that Tug Jordan from over in Silver Lake. I only beat him once. He joined up the same time as me, but I'm only 5'6" and 130 pounds, and he's 6'8" and weighs near 300 pounds dry.
Be sure to tell Walt and Elmer to hurry and join before other fellers get onto this setup and come stampeding in.
Your loving daughter,
Gail
You got to have a whacked out sense of humor to be a nurse.
It's the only thing that keeps you from crying some days.
That's supposed to be HUGS not bugs!
Pinging my humor ping list - let me know if you want on or off.
Michael Jackson's attorney to the Judge: Your honor, my client denies these charges. In fact, it is well known that Michael Jackson especially likes twenty-eight year olds.
Prosecuting attorney to judge: No objection, your honor. We will stipulate that Mr. Jackson would like twenty of them at a time.
A flock of geese is flying overhead. Why is one side of the "V" longer than the other............
There are more geese on that side.
On a flight from Houston to Chicago, the pilot began to have trouble with the airplane. They had run into a lot of turbulance and the flaps weren't working correctly.
A scared woman towards the front of the plane jumped into the aisle and began to scream " I can't stand this. I'm going to die. Before I die, someone PLEASE make me feel like a woman again."
At the rear of the plane a big good-looking Texan stood up and slowly started down the aisle. As he came down the aisle he started taking off his shirt. You could see his muscles rippling as he was removing the shirt. When he finally reached her he had the shirt off. He leaned over close to her and said " I'm here Honey...now iron this shirt and bring me a beer."
Cute! Thanks for stopping in! Welcome to the Canteen.
LOL
BUGS!
:0)
Ms.B
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