A young redhead goes into the doctor's office and says that her body hurts wherever she touches it.
"Impossible," says the doctor. "Show me."
She takes her finger and pushes her elbow and screams in agony.
She pushes her knee and screams, pushes her ankle and screams.
Everywhere she touches makes her scream.
The doctor says, "You're not really a redhead, are you?"
"No," she says, "I'm actually a blonde."
"I thought so," the doctor says.
"Your finger is broken."
A young couple made love in a graveyard one night..
The next day, the lady went to see her Dr because her back was hurting real bad...
The Doctor examined her and said "It's a simple case of backstrain...by the way, aside from your back, are you sure you're feeling alright?"
She says, "Yes, why?"
Doctor: "Because it says on your A$$ you died in 1863!"