The Side Effects of Witnessing Murder (Terri Schindler Schiavo) (by Cheryl Ford RN)

OpinionEditorials ^ | April 21, 2005 | Cheryl Ford, RN

[FairOpinion]

Three weeks will soon have passed since Terri Schindler-Schiavo was forced to die an inhumane and tragic death. Thousands who were against Terri's killing claim they find themselves awake at all hours of the night trying to come to terms with what happened to Terri. Many state they are suffering from overwhelming depression, frustration, and feelings of powerlessness. Others find themselves struggling to understand how America stood by and allowed Terri to be publicly murdered and not receive judicial or police protection.

Only a few short weeks ago, we witnessed thousands upon thousands of people from all over the world rise in protest to the heinous crime involving the murder of Terri Schindler-Schiavo. During the long 14 day period, as Terri laid suffering from starvation and dehydration, members of the US Congress gathered in a weekend forum to vote on a bipartisan bill that would assure Terri's constitutional rights. The bill was aimed at saving her life. The President of the United States who was preparing for Easter with his family, was urgently flown from his vacation ranch home in Texas to the White House to sign a bill that was passed in a 203 to 58 vote. So, why now are we faced with feeling the unsettling side effects of Terri's murder? Why do many seek answers to questions such as: How does a nation justify, publicly watching the death of an innocent disabled woman while no one was capable of stopping her murder?

When trying to find any sense of understanding or acceptance regarding Terri's murder, we must discuss some aspects surrounding the topics of death. Death, as we all know, is defined as: "A permanent cessation of all vital functions." Due to its permanency, we find death very disturbing under any circumstance. Death creates a destabilization of our existence, knowing there is no turning back. Normally, we experience death when it results from illness, unexpected trauma, or old-age. We are seldom, if ever, confronted with the unique emotions associated with murder happening in our family. When we hear about a murder we usually find ourselves gasping at the crime as it makes headline news. The loss of human life is final and emotionally traumatizing on any society. Any way we wish to view it, the intentional infliction of death on a human being, will always be defined as murder. Our country bases its philosophy on the value of "preservation of all life," thus, creating its laws to say, under no circumstances should anyone take the life of an innocent human being. We ask then, why was Terri allowed to be murdered as the world stood by and watched?

Once we are subjected to loss of life, we naturally emerge into what is known as the grieving process. Grief as we know it, has limitless boundaries. Often when we are forced to grieve, we flail aimlessly and timelessly into what appears to be an open abyss. Dr. Elisabeth Kubler Ross describes in her book "Death and Dying," the 5 stages of grief as: Denial, Anger, Bargaining, Depression and Acceptance. In order to move through the grieving process, we must at some point encounter the 5 stages of grief. Many will vacillate between the phases of grief for an undetermined period of time.

We also know there are thousands of people who routinely struggle with the controversial issues surrounding the death penalty. It is not unusual, or unreasonable for people to find difficulty digesting the legal liberties that are given to man when they are authorized to inflict the finalities of death upon any human being. Be the death penalty right or wrong, those who struggle with it can often find some sense of rationale and acceptance in knowing that those on death row were convicted and tried for a crime which brought forth their death sentence. However, what happens to the thousands who are reaching for that same sense of understanding and acceptance when grieving for Terri's publicly inhumane murder? Terri, was not a criminal and never hurt anyone. She was not tried, or convicted of any crime. She was not terminally ill, or unhealthy. She was not taken off to the hidden ominous fields where victims are murdered by their unknown killers. Despite all, we had a nation that was forced to watched Terri's tragic and unnecessary death, making it difficult, if not impossible, to transition into the grieving phases of acceptance.

We recognize that Terri was not any more special to her parents, than any other child is to their parents who love them. It is a given that she will be just as missed by her family, as others tend to miss their family members when they die. However, once again, as we seek some rationalization and acceptance in dealing with Terri's death, like we do in the normal grieving process of others, we find ourselves reaching an emotionally unsettling and angry set of emotions to deal with. Perhaps,it is due to the disturbing visions of a Mother publicly pleading for the life of her daughter; a daughter who would not be dead if it weren't for an estranged spouse who intentionally starved and dehydrated her, to her death. These visions leave the sane population very distraught. We again find ourselves asking, how do we move into the acceptance phase of grief after watching an innocent member of our society be murdered and denied the right to receive help? We knew, and will remember Terri as the innocent woman who through her means of natural communications waited patiently each day for her loving and very dedicated family to visit her so she could smile and laugh with them. We knew how her biological family had struggled for years to be capable of providing her with the therapy and help that we all naturally reach for when we are hurting, or injured. We shall always recall the look of love and warmth on the faces of Terri and her Mother as they embraced each other. Was the love and unity of the Schindler family so wrong a bond that we had to remove one of its members?

For Terri, sadly, the help that we normally would have expected to come her way, never did arrive. Where does this leave the thousands of civilized people who are now in shock, remembering the agonizing expressions on Mary's face as she pleaded for someone, anyone, to help rescue her daughter? How do we as a nation cope with Terri's unnecessary and brutal murder; a murder that we not only heard about over and over again though out every media source, but were also forced to watch as it appeared on national television for 14 long days? How do we justify the murder of a woman who was healthy and did not have to die, yet, we did nothing to stop it? When did America begin denying a family the right to care for one of its members? Who will be next?

I personally refuse to accept the notion that we have become a barbaric society living amongst many others like George Felos, Michael Schiavo, George Greer, and Deborah Bushnell. The four people who comfortably watched Terri slowly have the life sucked out of her, and then later rationalized Terri's death as merciful. Terri's death cannot be defined as anything but cold, callous, inhumane, unnecessary, wrong, and against all the laws that our country was founded upon. Laws that still read, MURDER is illegal! Assuming the majority of our world still believes murder is wrong, we must ask ourselves what can we do to prevent Terri's situation from happening to another individual? How can we seek justice for Terri and see to it that the four people who are responsible for the 14 days of her inhumane killing are brought to legal justice? We must also ask ourselves, is it more reasonable to suggest that the thousands who supported Terri, who were appalled and against her death, the emotionally unstable religious zealots that George Felos suggested they were? Or, is it more reasonable to say that rather it was Terri's estranged spouse, his euthanasia attorneys, and the judge in Pinellas County, who are the emotionally unstable death zealots who need to be convicted for their criminal actions?

More importantly, as a civilized society, we must question, are we going to challenge the inhumane laws that killed Terri, or, are we willing to allow her death to be in vain and chalk it up to becoming the new season preview for Reality Guardianship Murders? I do believe that it is vitally important for every person who grieves Terri's tragic death to have these questions answered, all in an effort to enter into the Acceptance phase of grief.

[exDemMom]

Shiavo and Greer were so intent on killing Terri that I don't think a living will would have saved her unless it had very specifically stated that a feeding tube was not to be removed under any circumstance.

No, that wouldn't have saved her either. No matter what a living will might have said, the death lovers would have interpreted it in such a way to make it justify killing her. Greer, obviously, hates the disabled.

[FairOpinion]

"Translated: losers with no lives got obbsessed with something that was none of their business"


First they came for the brain damaged, but I didn't care,"it was none of my business", because I wasn't brain damaged, right now at any rate...

But tomorrow Terri Schiavo could be you...

Then they came for the disabled and infirm, but I didn't care because I was young and vital.

But it's only a moment that could separate you from becoming disabled mentally, physically or both...

Then they came for... ME and judicial murder became so common, that there was nobody to stand up for me.

[ClancyJ]

You are right. See how much trouble is caused when you no longer can depend on people to do the moral thing. You have to have laws, judges, police, checkers, more laws, more judges, more police, more checkers.

[bjs1779]

She was dead, the only person in a place to make patient-care decisions decided it was time to let her go, and it is no one's busisness but his.

Pay particular attention when Terri's father mentions her mother about 35 seconds into the video. Turn the volume up so you can hear her say, "huh" in the sweetest voice you ever heard.

Terri with her father after 10 years of NO THERAPY.

[Republic]

HOGwash.

When the guardian has been sexually active with a concubine (refusing to divorce his ward first), has fathered two children, sought millions to REHABILITATE his ward for THREE YEARS, then got the big money, AND THEN ALMOST IMMEDIATELY, within days, PUTS A DO NOT RESUSITATE ORDER on ward's chart, when the guard uses REHAB money to pay a death lawyer, when a guardian ORDERS that his ward can no longer go outside into the sunshine in her wheelchair, in fact, CANNOT leave her room in her wheelchair AT ALL..........for YEARS and YEARS and YEARS...and when the this guardian slams his ward into a HOSPICE, or a place where the TERMINALLY ILL with SIX MONTHS OR LESS TO LIVE go,...............and KEEPS her

in a DEATH HOUSE for FIVE YEARS................

Well jude24...you are so WRONG it hurts...........better BELIEVE it is time for the parent's, the friends, the legislature the PRESIDENT to step in.......our CONSITITUTION IS AGAINST EVERYTHING felos and michael the monster did to KILL TERRI.

NOT ALL GUARDIANS ARE EQUAL! Most are loving, but some are MONSTERS.

Our laws need to protect those who cannot speak for themselves from the MONSTER GUARDIANS. In Florida...the law does NOT protect those who would be victems of EVIL GUARDIANS.

[Aussie Dasher]

Acceptance may be an important part of grief, but we must never accept what happened to Terri.

My anger will continue until my dying day.

How can such barbarity exist in the United States is a question that remains unanswered.

[DLfromthedesert]

You know; where I work we've taken care of many babies who were brain damaged due to an in-utero accident which cut for blood supply to the brain, or due to a difficult birth.

Guess how they are treated? They get g-tubes; their parents are taught how to care for them, and they go home with a very poor prognosis. There never is an option to starve and dehydrate them since they will be such a burden to their families.

And the parents love them and give them GREAT care. Not easy, but life is not always predictable or "fair".

[Fred Nerks]

"I part with many FReepers in believing that the worst threats to our Judeo-Christian ways of life lie within, not from the Middle East. Terrorists can also kill innocent people, a terrible thing, but they have no way of altering the fundamental values of our society in the way that Felos is intent on doing*. If anything, the Islamics galvanize values against their own interests, even in the absence of mass terrorism (The Netherlands and Islamic immigration come to mind). Felos and Co., however, operating in a more seductive (to some people) and insidious form, have the ability to make right wrong and wrong right in the consciences of many people."

I can say it no better so I will repeat it. Your very fine comment explains that sinking, sick feeling in the pit of my stomach.

[TheSarce]

Pinging fellow eyewitnesses to a very accurate and powerful article. We will never be the same as before we met in this battle. But while stunned and sadder for the experience, we are also stronger for having gone through the unthinkable and for having watched all the institutions we've always counted on fail Terri so completely and so callously. We were there, we saw it in its full 3-D Technicolor hideousness, and know better than most how much work there is to do.

We have now been forged in fire. We will go on from here stronger and wiser and with our vision newly unobstructed.

[EternalVigilance]

Well said.

[EternalVigilance]

They get g-tubes; their parents are taught how to care for them, and they go home with a very poor prognosis. There never is an option to starve and dehydrate them since they will be such a burden to their families.

And the parents love them and give them GREAT care. Not easy, but life is not always predictable or "fair".

That would be my precious little Hannah Marie.

She only lived 7 months, but I wouldn't have traded one day of her life for anything.

[ClancyJ]

They are promoting the end of the medical profession as a source of healing. They will make it a killing field and people will run from doctors rather than run to them.

Which, again, will be true justice as all the doctors sit idly by with no huge fees, no respect, no elite lifestyle.

Why go to a hospital where you may become the newest euthanasia patient rather than to get well?

[ClancyJ]

I just read the headline of another judge (in England) I think, ruling that a baby's feeding tube must be removed.

This is absolutely a horror for a mother. Give her the baby until she sees that it cannot live - never strip it from her arms. Let God handle it.

Why must man be so cruel to those that love those in their families?

[ClancyJ]

So sorry for your loss - I know it was so very hard.

I cannot imagine what that mother in England will feel as they pull the tubes on her baby and let it die. Wonder why that is not a family decision? (I have not read the article - not up to another heartrending case of murder)

[DLfromthedesert]

Oh, I'm so sorry. I didn't know you lost a baby. Yes, they are all precious angels, and some are not meant to spend a long time with us, but I'm sure little Hannah is watching over you.

God Bless You

Donna

[DLfromthedesert]

We live in a fallen world, and people are easily tricked into seeing evil, and calling it good.

[Nowhere Man]

Thanks for posting this article. I am one of the thousands who finds themselves lying awake at night, still thinking about Terri and asking myself how is it possible, how did they get away with murdering a young woman by denying her food and water. I lie there and cannot go back to sleep, and I am an Australian, not an American. I cannot imagine how the US will come to terms with this evil deed.

Well, I live here in the US and I wonder about these same things as you do. I think we have blown our credibility in telling others about their human right abuses by not leading by example. I'm glad we did save another lady in Georgia from a similar fate, she is 81 and her ganddaughter wanted to starve her to death but it was stopped. So maybe Terri's death woke up people although we have a long road to haul. Before we can go back and lead the world on how to live, we need to do some soul searching ourselves and clean house.

[Nowhere Man]

I fear the truth is, that we have changed as a nation, and are so selfish and self centered, we won't respond to our neighbors in trouble. It's too easy to just let it happen, and too hard to change anything. I still only have 1 vote, and my whole family, friends, and church, votes the same as me, and it won't seem to change. We have 90% of America as red states, red counties, red cities, but still no changes. I'm reminded how bad it would be if we turned blue, but I want to take ground, not just hold what we have. Something has to change for the better or what they say is true, "There isn't a dimes worth of difference".

I think if we make a comparision, borrowing from another Freeper I can't remember who, but if we compare America 1979 to America 2005, in many ways, America 1979 was superior, even with President Carter, a Democratic Congress (yeah, they were tax and spend, but they haven't gone too loopy yet at that time), inflation and so on, but unlike America 2005, we are not wrestling with homosexual marriage, TV wasn't as smutty, we didn't snuff people out by judical fiat, and so on. Republicans hold the top positions but we are still losing. Like you, I'm not interested in holding ground or losing anymore but we need to start gaining ground. I hope Terri is a wakeup call and there are some encouraging signs it was but we got al ong fight ahead of us.