I went on to college but neither of my children did. I find that they are very late to the organization/discipline/structure part of "life". Just my personal observation.
I'm not sure if this is what you meant when you said your kids are late in realizing the discipline and structure of life, but I think that there can be a benefit to a college student living away from home for those years. I know too many people who lived at home during college, so mom or dad was doing the laundry, cooking, and cleaning and paying the bills. Living away from home can help teach a young person about managing their time and money (assuming mom and dad aren't giving them whatever they want, another common problem I've seen), taking care of their own chores, and so on. My parents paid some but not all of my bills, so I had to work if I wanted to eat out, go to the movies, etc. If I didn't do my own laundry, it didn't get done. If I didn't get myself up on time for class or work, no one was going to make me get up. Obviously responsibility can be learned in other ways, but college doesn't have to be a waste of time--it can provide a good education and a time to grow up.
Exactly. I have found that some people who have not been to college lack in problem solving skills. I also learned patience and my social skills were broadened with all of my collegiate activities.