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Note to idiots: I am not advocating violence against Hillary Rodham Clinton. This is a parody song, and the stake in her heart is a LEGAL stake in her heart to be administered by one of her victims, Peter Paul. He will be facing her in a court of law, and she will be raising her right hand. Whether she tells the truth is another matter. She will be damaged.

http://www.zerotime.com/night/destroy.htm

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Destroying Vampires

Vampires cannot be killed. They are already dead.

Destroying vampires can be complicated. Vampire clans throughout history have each had different characteristics. There doesn't seem to be one method that will kill all vampires. The standard method that seems to work best involves beheading the vampire, cutting its heart out, and then burning the body. Here are some other methods used throughout the world to destroy the demon known as Vampire.

The Myth of Sunlight: Vampires are creatures of the night, living and feeding in the darkness. In traditional medieval times sunlight did not kill the vampire. In fact, vampires could walk around like anyone else. In the novel, Dracula, vampires could move around in the daytime without their strength and powers. It's only been in the recent history of fifty or sixty years that the new tradition of Sunlight killing vampires has emerged. Popular culture, movies and novels have made sunlight the ultimate vampire killer. However, if you ever run into a real vampire don't be surprised if they don't explode when sunlight hits them.

Crucifix: A crucifix, not a cross! There is a difference. A crucifix has the likeness of Jesus Christ on it while the cross is just a cross. The power of the crucifix comes from the Christian religion and Jesus Christ's ability to combat and force out evil. Vampires are considered to be demonic agents. The crucifix will only have power over evil if you believe in its power. If you don't believe in the power of the Christian faith then the crucifix will have little use.

Stakes: Staking a vampire in the heart with a wooden stake is the most popular way of destroying vampires. This method of killing a vampire has been around for literally hundreds of years. The stakes were typically made of ash or aspen. The stake must penetrate the vampire's heart to destroy it. In medieval times the stake was also used as prevention of vampires. Deceased individual who were thought to have a higher risk of becoming a vampire were staked in their coffins so that the stake would pin them to the ground.

Garlic: Garlic is another ancient method of fending off evil spirits. Garlic has been used in cultures throughout the world as a healing medicine and natural vitamin. It was thought to have a purification principle much like the metal Silver. People would hang it outside their doorways to keep evil spirits from entering their homes. The ancient societies got a little carried away with Garlic condemning anyone who had an aversion to garlic as a vampire. Garlic was also passed out during church ceremonies so that church official could be sure that no evil spirits were attending.

Holy Water: Another religious item used to combat vampires is holy water. Holy Water is plain water that was been blessed by a preacher or religious holy man. The same can be done with wine, the wine symbolizing the blood of Christ. When holy water is cast onto the vampires skin it burns like acid leaving fleshy burns and causing extreme pain.

Fire: Fire bad. Vampires don't like. Burning the body of a vampire is an effective method of destroying it. However, the vampire must be thoroughly burned to ashes or it will eventually heal itself and return for bitter vengeance. The best method is when the vampire's head and heart had been removed first before the corpse is burned.

Silver: When most people think of silver weapons killing monsters they think of silver bullets and werewolves, however, silver stakes, spears and daggers have also been known to slow down and kill vampires. Silver is considered to be a metal of purity and has been used for protection against evil in almost every world culture throughout history. Silver can be melted down to form amulets, jewelry, bullets, daggers and religious symbols such as crucifixes. Silver amulets and daggers can be put into the ground above the grave to prevent evil spirits from escaping. Silver nails drove into coffin lids are said to help prevent evil spirits from rising from the grave.

Beheading: Cut off the vampires head and you basically end the creature's undead existence. Many past cultures combined his with other methods to fully destroy the vampire. Vampires were beheaded, had their hearts staked and then cut out, and the remains of their bodies were burned to ash and buried on consecrated grounds. I guess they figured why take any chances.

One Million Other Ways: Of course there are also countless other methods that would destroy a vampire like strapping a couple pounds of TNT to a vampire. Sealing it in cement and then dropping it into the deepest parts of the ocean. Using an army tank to point blank blast the vampire with a tank shell. There are endless creative ways to destroy a vampire. Use the best and easiest method.

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20 posted on 05/30/2005 7:44:25 AM PDT by doug from upland (MOCKING DEMOCRATS 24/7 --- www.rightwingparodies.com)
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21 posted on 05/30/2005 8:26:50 AM PDT by doug from upland (MOCKING DEMOCRATS 24/7 --- www.rightwingparodies.com)
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