Posted on 05/29/2005 9:18:01 AM PDT by BronzePencil
if=of
Sexual assault?
garbage."
AFPhys, I TOTALLY agree with you. Heck, it sounds like any one of a hundred films out of the forties. Romantic and set to tumbling violin scales and speechless close-ups, YES. Sexual assault, NONSENSE.
We've become a nation of Michael Kinsleys and NAGs.
JAIL THE PARENTS!
To cap this whole argument with you AFPhys, let me sum it up: 1. The girl is the VICTIM. 2. The guy was AWOL from his ship, which says alot about him right there. 3. He comes from a country and culture well known for treating women as lesser citizens. Don't believe me? How about Honor Killings. Forced Marriage. Revenge Rape. Argue with this other recent article.
http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/f-news/1366873/posts
So much for that.
This incident falls a good amount short of "sexual assault." That term is being thrown around more and more casually...which lessens its true, serious meaning.
I guess that stuff only flies in muslim nations. In those nations, she likely would have then been put to death for her shame in such an occurrence. He must've forgotten where he was. More's the pitty.
I expect to be asked before being kissed or even hugged closely. I grew up in a loving, physically affectionate household and I've been in intimate relationships, which is why I value my personal space. If you touch me more than casually without my permission, expect to learn the lesson very quickly.
This isn't a case of two long-time friends getting mixed messages. This is a stranger touching a young woman in an intimate way. Again, let me ask you how you'd feel if your 14 year old came home crying because a strange man touched her in any way. Or how would you feel if a GAY man did the same to you? You're having a conversation with a man who you don't know is gay and he suddenly grabs you and kisses you. Would you just shrug it off? I sincerely doubt it, given what I've read here.
If kisses are okay without asking, what else is? Fondling? Grabbing? Where would you "hopeless romantics" (who I hope never get near me) draw the line.
This incident falls a good amount short of "sexual assault." That term is being thrown around more and more casually...which lessens its true, serious meaning.
MissBehave, Thank you for adding that --- It is exactly what I was thinking about as I logged out from my 'puter yesterday.
CommonasDirt: I am very troubled about the way our culture has come to decide that everything is "Extreme" unless it is milquetoast mushy middle. When our we allow our language to treat what is essentially a stolen kiss the same way we treat forcible rape at gunpoint - when we allow ourselves to think this way - the effect is to demean those who have been forcibly and terribly victimized. It takes away from our compassion for victims of major criminal behavior. If people like you, CaD, were more capable of saying to those like this 14yo, 'not much really happened here. you got a scratch, maybe, and though that's not right, you'll be OK.' rather than going off the deep end and LABELLING this little girl with "Sexual Assault Victim", you could help her to put this in better perspective.
Perhaps that's not what you want. Perhaps you have some desire to puff up "sexual assault" statistics. When you do, it demeans those who are truly victims of criminal behavior. As I said in a post above, you may have some reason for your hypersensitivity on this subject. If so, I'm sorry about that. Your experience doesn't bear on whether this incident is "criminal" activity, though. You're being vindictive about this Pak sailor coming from a culture of dumb behavior toward women doesn't either.
A voluntarily drunk or drugged girl or boy calling the almost inevitable result "rape", a child simply seeing her parent naked being called "sexual abuse", terrorists who saw off people's heads being labeled "insurgents", a stolen kiss being labeled "sexual assault", a child left in a car while the parent pays her bill at a gas station being called "child neglect", a spanking being labeled "child abuse", teachers being discharged for "abusing" a child by having them wear a dunce hat, judges who affirm that they believe common moral values ought to play a part in their decisions being called "extreme", calling minor physical deprivation of terrorists "torture", ... we can go on and on with abuse of the language ---
Using the same phrase for a "stolen kiss", and the same charges, that is used for "violent forcible rape at knifepoint", demeans the horror and true victim-hood of those who do have major crimes committed against them. At the same time, it causes unwarranted mental anguish in those who have had, at worst, a mild injustice done to them, and instead of that scratch healing in a day or two, you can CREATE a psychological problem that can be with them for life. This child is now going to have this stolen kiss with her for months or years of legal wrangling - and in the end, the judge is Highly Likely to give the sailor a mere slap on the wrist - and the "victim's advocates" will be caterwauling endlessly about the injustice done to her.
She is likely now be scarred for life because of the legal situation - instead of having it done and over with and some good possibly coming out of it for her. It is probably too late for her now, but hopefully not for others.
Please try to think this over again.
"Stolen kiss" my a**. From the tone of the your postings all I can conclude is that you are squarely siding with the AWOL sailor. Fortunatly in this country the LAW will decide whether he is guilty or innocent. The victim will have her day in court, if it gets that far, which will be fair. Which is something that a woman in the sailors country would never get.
I'm not siding with the sailor: I'm concerned about this girl. I can't understand why you believe that this girl, and others like her, should have her life ruined by forcing her to be dragged through the muck of our legal system for months to years. My posts have been pretty clear about how we demean real victims by doing this type of thing, and end up really damaging people all around.
I've said all I've got to say - sorry we disagree - I hope you will reconsider what this is doing to HER.
Are you sure you know what your political bases are?
It has been interesting AFPhys. And we can agree to disagree. Remember, when the smoke clears and the case is settled one way or another......the public has a short memory till the next like situation comes along to remind them. It's been a pleasure
Trying to see any connection between your response to me and my original, facetious, post...?
I am pro-privacy and pro-prosecuting crime. If a crime actually occurs, prosecute it. If the insinuation that a crime has occurred with no suspects and an uncooperative victim, with no DNA evidence, with nothing at all, results in a fishing expedition in the files of teenagers, I'm against it.
I guess realizing that one can hold these views simultaneously requires a nuance of thought that only I posses, or something like that. If you shoot me in my home, I want you in jail, but don't start going through all the guns of everyone on my block if there might have been a shooting with no one listed as a suspect and no bullet. You wouldn't say I'm pro-murderer, would you?
In every single case, presuming these girls have been sexually active, we are talking about a rapist running loose.
Your loved ones are not safe from such a person.
The Indiana judge noted that in these cases the search has value because it will benefit the state AND the victim.
Think of this as "hot pursuit". Think of Planned Parenthood as an enabler for criminals. There's really no other way to deal with this you know.
Seems to me the cops would be remiss in NOT getting a warrant to check out your stuff.
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