Police: Suspect burned girlfriend (Burned his name into her back)

Syracuse Post-Standard ^ | 6/13/05 | Jim Read

[pax_et_bonum]

I second your response.

I have a friend who could have written what you posted.

It was very eye-opening for me to see what she went through, and to go through the experience of helping her to break away from that manipulative and abusive situation.

Through the use of physical and mental abuse he had her totally beated down and convinced that she was completely dependent on him.

[krb]

Until you have experienced something similar or think about this with an open mind, I think you should just STFU.

I was wondering why are you stifling dissent so strongly, but since you admitted that you had the same problem that the woman in the story had it makes sense now. You are simply not to be reasoned with on this topic, as it hits a personal weakness for you. So be it.

[texasflower]

Just what are you trying to say here? Let me tell you what I think with all my heart.

I think you are one of those people completely capable of manipulating women in this manner. You are trying that crap with me.

I'm not playing this game with you.

[krb]

Just what are you trying to say here?
I will try to get to that in a sec...

Let me tell you what I think with all my heart.
Please do, I am trying to communicate my POV to you and I think more clarity from you will help me understand why you disagree with my original post.

I think you are one of those people completely capable of manipulating women in this manner.
You think that advocating personal responsibility and perhaps a bit of introspection makes me a manipulator? Come on, I know that can't be really true or else you would be on DU.com instead of FR.com.

You are trying that crap with me.
Well, I have a feeling that if I insist that it isn't true, you aren't gonna buy it. In my experience I have found that people who debate with people and swear like sailors typically aren't there to come to a meeting of the minds.

I'm not playing this game with you.
Excellent, then we shall consider the game-playing portion of our conversation-cum-rant retired.

Now what I am trying to say is that I do not think that we should treat women differently from men when it comes to being frank with them about the intelligence of their choices.

What should we teach our daughters? What it sounds to me like you are saying is that 1) a lot of men are pigs, and 2) if you are with one, it's his fault, not yours.

That is not how I am raising my daughters. My daughters are getting raised the same way I would raise a son: 1) a lot of women are mentally instable with control issues and baggage, and 2) if you fail to RUN LIKE HELL from a poor relationship choice then you have made your bed and have to sleep in it. Oh and, stay away from the ones with a lot of cats.

[texasflower]

BS. I'm not stiffling dissent. I'm saying you are an arrogant fool.

Say all you want. My opinion is that you are an arrogant fool who is most likely lying about having read a single world about this issue.

Are you a man or a woman?

[krb]

BS. I'm not stiffling dissent.

>Until you have experienced something similar...

That was where I was getting the stiffling dissent observation. Since I am a man I obviously can't experience the paralyzing effect of being a women who is with a guy she can't stop going back to.

What a silly way to mark my view point as invalid.

[RikaStrom]

Add me please, Thanks!

[texasflower]

I disagree with you because I've been there. I was from the very best of homes, well loved and always disciplined fairly.

My parents were supportive and loving. I was in the top ten of my high school graduating class. I was successful and assertive.

I was a police officer and a paramedic. In both of those positions, I saw many, many abused women and thought the same narrow minded crap that you do.

Then it happened to me.

You are either one of these manipulative men, or an arrogant and uniformed woman.

Which is it?

Actually, I'm leaning towards you being the manipulator considering the complete revulsion I feel instinctively towards you.

Women can be manipulated so that they may not be able to think as clearly. I already said that to you. She hasn't committed a crime or anything. She is ABUSED.

What part of that don't you get? Are you saying it's her fault for being abused?

That's exactly what it sounds like you are saying.

The woman does have to make the decision to get out of there, but what you are being told and you are deliberately mischaracterizing is that the decision making process gets altered and things aren't as clear as they would be for a non abused person.

You think I swear like a sailor because I used the word "crap"?

Grow up.

I have two daughters. My teenage daughters are being taught by me, what to watch for in order to help spot a manipulative abusing demon of a man.

My mother didn't have the chance to help me. She didn't know what one of those beasts looked like.

I do and my daughters do too now.

I feel sorry for your daughters. If they get into an abusive marriage, you will make it their fault.

Just think about that right now. Look at your precious daughters. See their sweet trusting faces and gentle spirits.

NOW imagine about some man completely fooling them by using charm, money, lies and carefully built and preplanned seduction and manipulation.

Then suddenly he shows his true self and hurts her.

Remember. In your sick world, it's her fault.

[texasflower]

I'm not stifling dissent. I'm disagreeing with you. BIG difference.

You sure are a big baby.

****Since I am a man I obviously can't experience the paralyzing effect of being a women who is with a guy she can't stop going back to.****

Well there you go. You CAN'T experience it. Plain and simple.

Besides who said anything about going back to the beast. We were talking about personal experiences of me and the other poster.

I never went back, but it did take awhile to realize what he had done to me and get my head together enough to leave.

It completely alters your thought processes.

For your daughter's sake, stop being a horse's behind and listen to what the women with experience on this thread are telling you or you may watch it happen to one of them.

[krb]

I never went back, but it did take awhile to realize what he had done to me and get my head together enough to leave.
It completely alters your thought processes.

I am guessing that the meds helped out a little too?

Look, I am not saying it is her fault, and I don't doubt you when you say that your head was in a really bad place. But they doesn't mean you were not wrong to stay with him. You were wrong, you finally got your head right, and got away, but you were wrong, and you are completely offended to see that in writing.

All I was saying is that most men do not react that way when our mistakes are discussed. I bet you are seething that I wrote "you were wrong" up there. All I am saying is that men do not do that. Men don't get their panties all wadded up like that.

For your daughter's sake, stop being a horse's behind and listen to what the women with experience on this thread are telling you or you may watch it happen to one of them.

Ok, so I tell them "some men are pigs, if you end up with one, it's his fault (even though I have taught you how to take care of yourself), so please wallow in self pity and make sure you have The Lifetime Network on your cable system?"

Instead how about my way: "some men are pigs, here are the things to look out for: {list of pigman things}; if you nonetheless find yourself with a pig man, you have to get out, it's YOUR RESPONSIBILITY to do it; it's NOT too late...and make sure you block the Oprah Channel"

[texasflower]

No, you condescending jerk, no meds.

You are indeed one of those manipulators and I am completely through with this conversation and I will most assuredly pray for the safety of your sweet daughters.

Because you are far to interested in "winning" than learning.

That puts your children in danger.

Live with it.

[krb]

Peace out! I, too, will pray for your daughters. So even though you and I can't seem to get in the groove to understand each other, it looks like the kids are covered.

[krb]

BTW, name calling and "STFU, "BS" and the like are not very lady-like. Not that that matters....

[texasflower]

You need to teach those girls how to spot a con job like this. YOU MUST go beyond teaching them to take care of themselves.

You must teach them about men like that. Sadly, I tend to think you might well be a man like that.

I wasn't wrong to marry this man who on all accounts seemed like a prince. There was nothing to indicate (I thought) that he was a monster.

He was hansdome, treated me like a queen. Indulged me with gifts and flowers. He seemed like the kind of man every woman would want.

He bought me clothes and told me how beautiful I was. He told his friends how lucky he was so have found such a wonderful woman. He charmed my friends and family.

But after a week he began to slowly do things that seemed benign at the time, but then let to worse and worse abuse. Slowly. You can get acclimated to the simple things, thinking it's just the way he is, but it slowly escalates. You adapt for survival.

I did manage to get out and plenty of us do. All the hell you are being told here is that this sort of abuse causes problems with your normal thought process.

You can't understand that.

But that's what happens.

Rant on as you wish about how bad and stupid the women are.

When it happens to one of your kids, you will wish you had paid more attention to us.

[texasflower]

Where did I say my goal was to be ladylike? I have strong opinions and a strong personality.

That's how I was able to deal with this bad marriage and get the hell out.

You don't like my language? SO WHAT.

Sometimes that's how I express my strong opinions and strong personality. Especially when dealing with men like you who have my "manipulator" radar alerting.

[texasflower]

Then things are as they should be.

[surely_you_jest]

"The woman, whom police did not identify, also had scars she told police were from earlier encounters with Tirado . . ."

This is the point at which I lost all sympathy.

[krb]

>"The woman, whom police did not identify, also had scars she told police
>were from earlier encounters with Tirado . . ."

This is the point at which I lost all sympathy.

Pigging...err, Pinging texasflower... :-)

[surely_you_jest]

"Pigging . . ."

Cute. Obviously your tagline "ad hominem arguments are for stupid people" is a simple posture by a simple person.

[SamAdams76]

Could have been worse. His name could have been something like Sylvester Malcolm Panagiotopoulos III.