Posted on 06/26/2005 7:21:18 AM PDT by Nevadan
J.C. WATTS: With Howard Dean, the hits just keep on coming
In the final scene of the movie "Christmas Vacation," Chevy Chase as Clark Griswold receives his Christmas bonus by courier on Christmas Eve. Griswold has spent the entire season fretting about his bonus, because he has placed a down payment on a new backyard swimming pool, spending his anticipated windfall before he actually knew what was coming. (Sounds a lot like Congress ... but that's for another column).
Christmas Eve has arrived without word of Griswold's bonus, and he is now on the edge of a holiday breakdown. When what to his wondering eyes should appear, but a courier at the front door, apologetically announcing that the envelope had slipped behind the car seat -- and here it is -- "Merry Christmas."
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When Clark opens the envelope, he finds the equivalent of a lump of coal in his stocking -- a subscription to the Jelly of the Month Club.
At this point, Cousin Eddie -- the poorly dressed and ill-behaved embarrassment of the family -- offers his deep insight by proclaiming, "it's the gift that keeps on giving, Clark!"
From this day forward, whenever I see one of the "Vacation" movies or hear that line, I will think of Democratic National Chairman Howard "Cousin Eddie" Dean.
For Republicans, Howard Dean is the "gift that keeps on giving."
Let's review, shall we?
-- "I hate Republicans and everything they stand for." Thanks, chairman, that means a lot, coming from you.
-- Tom DeLay "ought to go back to Houston where he can serve his jail sentence." Silly me, but I thought you actually had to be accused of and convicted of something before you go to jail. Not in Howard's world. The DeLay comment was over the top for even Rep. Barney Frank, the walking, talking epitome of a liberal Democrat. When Barney distances himself from you, you haven't just stepped over the line, you've plunged into the abyss.
-- Republicans, Dean bellowed, "have never made an honest living in their lives." That doesn't even merit comment.
-- "Republicans are mean. They're not nice people." That's a generalization one would expect from a third-grader, and I apologize to third-graders everywhere for the comparison.
-- Speaking before the Congressional Black Caucus, Howard said Republicans could fill a room with people of color, "only if they had the hotel staff in here." That would be offensive, were it not so bizarre.
Space precludes me from playing the entire hit parade.
There must be something in the water at Democrat headquarters. Remember when Teresa Heinz Kerry, during the 2004 presidential campaign, questioned whether first lady Laura Bush had ever worked?
"I don't know that she's ever had a real job -- I mean, since she's been grown up," Mrs. Kerry said of the former school librarian.
At least the would-be first lady had the decency to apologize. Dean delivers a new gift to Republicans every time he opens his mouth.
To wit: Republicans are primarily a "white Christian" party. Hmm. Tell that to Ken Mehlman, Condoleezza Rice, Ken Blackwell, Ben Stein, Ileana Ros-Lehtinen, Henry Bonilla, Ben Nighthorse Campbell and the millions of other Jews, blacks, Hispanics, American Indians and others in the Republican Rainbow Coalition.
And it's becoming a family affair. You may not have heard about this one, but Jim Dean, Howard's brother, runs his political action committee, Democrats for Action. Brother Dean sent out an e-mail solicitation for funds, in which he called Vice President Dick Cheney "an insecure schoolyard bully at recess" for daring to criticize his brother. The apple doesn't fall far from the tree.
It wasn't long ago that I was reading in the Capitol Hill newspaper Roll Call that Democrats were consulting with "experts" on how to communicate with "values voters" such as evangelical Christians.
NOTE TO HOWARD: Try to avoid impugning them or the political party to which most of them belong.
This is as good as Hollywood stars calling Republicans and NASCAR fans racist, then jockeying for position to serve as NASCAR grand marshals, as many have done. If NASCAR fans are racist, why do these bulwarks of racial sensitivity want to hang with them?
Howard Dean appears to be very proud of the job he's doing. So are we.
Because with Chairman Dean, it's Christmas every day.
J.C. Watts, chairman of J.C. Watts Companies, a business consulting group, is a former chairman of the Republican Conference of the U.S. House, where he served as an Oklahoma representative from 1995 to 2002. He writes twice monthly for the Review-Journal.
Vote the bastRATs into oblivion, watch them selfdestRAT!
There's on big difference. Cousin Eddie is smarter and not moonbat crazy.
Oklahoma BTTT
They wish Dean was half as cool as "Cousin Eddie".
J.C. Watts bump
whoa - we were on the same google page at the same time...spooky!
J.C. Watts has a bright future in Baseball (as well as in all of his other successful ventures) because he hit this one out of the park.
Great Column.
TT
Dean and his Wife are both Doctors, you'd think he could afford a shirt that fit.
Pray for W and Our Freedom Fighters
He's the man! lol. JC Watt's column is woo-hoo funny!
I'm guessing that he has a complex over not looking as thin and fit as John Edwards, so he's wearing shirts that are 3 sizes too big in hopes that people will look at him and marvel over how much weight he must have lost lately.
Besides being very vocal spokesmen for their party?
All pampered spoiled rich kids!
They do not speak for my America!!
They only speak for whomever they can bribe, brainwash or bully into supporting them.
And that's about it.
BTTT
Re: I have the utmost respect for J.C. Watts
I do too! I think he is a great American!
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