My husband was a good man, but an alcoholic. It ruined his life and harmed his children. I was harmed as well, but I'm stubborn and kept moving forward. I try not to think of the past but it does rear its ugly head now and then. I've tried hard not to have hatred or resentment toward him. He died an alcoholic and it was a real time of grief for me. I always loved him but it was hard to put up with that kind of life. I wouldn't wish it on anyone. Going to church and getting involved there was my salvation. My children went as well, although none of them attend church regularly now.
Yes, I have seen alcoholism ruin many a life. It's one reason why I have never touched it (though I don't care if others do socially). Yes, the Church can be a haven. It has been for me at times too in my darkest moments.