[SunnySide]

"I asked around, and it turns out he has a pattern of similar behavior.
What can I do to make this guy cease and desist?"

"behavorial pattern"? Who is he, Hannibal Lecter?
File a stalking restraining order against him.

[Rightwing Conspiratr1]

I have the same problem. Actually I don't consider it a problem. Anyway I got some booklet in the mail to fill out that asks about my race, my home value, my income, and a bunch of nonsense. The purpose of the census is not to determine representation. It's to be used by our socialist Federal goverment to allocate the money the steal. I just threw it in the trash. A month goes by and a census worker shows up and I tell her "I refuse to answer any questions." She tells me I must answer by law. I laugh in her face and close the door. She freaks. ANyway she's been back twice since leaving cards with threats of legal action written on the back of them. I'm waiting for the legal action.

BTW I did the same thing during the real census when they sent me the long form. I filled out the counts but refused to answer the rest of the questions. About a year after that I got a form letter from some federal attorney saying the goverment had declined to prosecute anyone for not answering.

I don't know what will happen. Maybe Gitmo. ;-)

[MamaTexan]

What can I do to make this guy cease and desist?

Send a Cease and Desist letter to him that says some thing like:

_____________________________________________________

Dear Sir,

You have repeatedly ignored my repeated verbal requests (you can put dates of phone conversations here)to cease and desist any and all contact with me concerning the Census Bureau's current interview and survey.

I will answer no questions other than those I am Constitutionally required to answer, and the current interview and survey questions are not legitimate.

I now have no choice but to send you this letter to cease and desist said contact.

This letter serves as legal notice.

As of the date of the receipt of this letter, representatives, employees and any/or all affiliates of the Census Bureau of the United States (whatever the official title is) are to Cease and Desist any and all contact with me, (your name), concerning anything other than legitimate Bureau business.

Any illegitimate contact after the date of the receipt of this letter will be considered harassment.

Cordially yours,

_____________________________________________

This is the most important part!

Keep a copy for your files.

Send this letter certified mail, return receipt requested ONLY.

If you do, it is NOT *legal notice*! Attach your receipt for sending the letter, and when the green card returns in the mail, attach it is well.

If they contact you again, you have legal grounds for a harassment charge, as well as trespass if he's on your private property.

You can find out who his boss and send it to him, send it to the guy harassing you, or send it to the head of the local office he works out of.

[azhenfud]

"What can I do to make this guy cease and desist?"

It'll take less of your time doing this than the "legal stuff", but set up an appointment with him. Then don't show. Reschedule - then fail to show. Reschedule - then don't show. Is there a pattern you detect?

Thought so. But MOST IMPORTANTLY,,,Have FUN!!!

[Dave S]

Well you can start by not complaining the next time an unemployment report comes out that doesnt coincide with your preconceived notions of how the economy is doing. Its by conducting these surveys among thousands of individuals each month that the government gets the household survey that Bush was praising during the time Dems were pushing the employer based survey.

[The Toll]

I usually just start talking real dirty and start breathing heavy. They never call back.

[feedback doctor]

Tell him you are recording the call, that you live in a state where the permission of only one person is needed to record a call, and that you intend to post a recording of the conversation on the internet and that if he wishes to not be recorded that he can hang up.

Other options, after each question tell him you are hard of hearing, please repeat the question. Or you can get a CD that has background sounds like a lawn mower or jet aircraft, Maybe get some hospital sounds, tell him you're in the middle of sugery (the patient or the doctor). Say stuff like, "Nurse, he's bleeding way too much." or "oops, we were supposed to cut of the LEFT leg weren't we."

[Bon mots]

Lie, lie, lie.

I always tell lies to people who pester me like that.

It's none of his business and you already told him so. Now it's time to have fun.

[Skooz]

My advice?

Obey.

Learn your place.

[WhiteGuy]

Just meet him, and answer his questions.

But don't answer his questions.

"I duuno" is an answer.

When I am confronted by someone I would rather avoid, I make THEM leave ME alone.

1. Fart loudly - blame them - repeat as needed
2. Get down on your hands and knees in the front yard and busy yourself looking for something "lost" - assure the guy that you can answer his questions and look at the same time - only never answer just keep looking and after a few minutes ask him "what did you say?
3. Make phone calls during the "interview" when ever the guy starts to interrupt just hold up one finger and whisper "just a minute"
4. Just make up stupid answers - Q- "Are you employed full time?" your answer - "Watermelons!"
5. Pee your pants - I'm serious, this works! they guy will leave immediately.
6. "Assume the position" in front of your house while responding
7. Start and end every answer with a profanity - It's fun.
8. Answer One question, tell him that's all the time you have for now and ask him to come back in a week.

That should get you started! Have fun!

[NRA2BFree]

Are you a gun owner? :o)

[airborne]

Call him again, and ask to speak with his superior.

[RFEngineer]

"I'm the Census taker......Are you married or happy? NYUK NYUK NYUK......wooo-wooop-woooop-woooop"

[RightOnline]

[Hank Rearden]

The only questions I answered on my long form were the number of people, number of bedrooms and number of bathrooms.

I told them there are 17 bedrooms and 1 bathroom.

All other questions were stamped in bright red (had the stamp made for this purpose): NONE OF YOUR DAMN BUSINESS!

Never heard from them again.

[Xenalyte]

Census-Taker: Mr. Leonard? I'm with the U.S. Census Bureau. We sent you a Census form, but you failed to return it to us.

Mr. Leonard: My mail is piled up like crazy.

Census-Taker: Yeah. Well, I just need to fill out this Census form with you. Uh.. how many people live in this residence?

Mr. Leonard:Oh, boy.. good question. I'm bad with numbers.. Maybe 80.

Census-Taker: 80 people live in this apartment?

Mr. Leonard: Seems high, doesn't it? Not 80. How about 4? I don't know.. I'm so bad at guestimating..

Census-Taker: Well, just take your time, and count.

Mr. Leonard: Okay.. there's me.. my wife.. our plants.. we have some candy bars..

Census-Taker: Well, you know, we don't count candy bars or plants..

Mr. Leonard: Well, then, there's just the two of us. Boy, I really overshot with the 80!

Census-Taker: Listen, don't worry about it. I'm gonna put you down as the Primary Resident, okay? Now, are you currently employed?

Mr. Leonard: Yeah.. part of the time.

Census-Taker: Well, you work part-time. How many days of the week?

Mr. Leonard: Every day.. but just part of the day. From 9 to 5.

Census-Taker: So, you work a full day?

Mr. Leonard: I wouldn't say that. There are huge chunks of time.. at night.. where I'm just asleep. For hours. It's ridiculous.

Census-Taker: No, it's not that ridiculous. Mr. Leonard, do you own or rent this apartment?

Mr. Leonard: Sure. You have to ask one of the other 79 people.

Census-Taker: You mean your wife?

Mr. Leonard: Yeah.

Census-Taker: Well, can I talk to her, then?

Mr. Leonard: She won't answer you. She's a bobcat.

Census-Taker: You got a bobcat in there?

Mr. Leonard: Well, I have a permit. [ reaches into apartment and pulls out a sheet of paper ] Here you go.

Census-Taker: [ examines paper ] This is a permit to run a nail salon.

Mr. Leonard: Wrong one! Wrong one! [ pulls another sheet of paper out of his apartment ]

Census-Taker: [ examines paper ] This is a permit to do street performances.

Mr. Leonard: Yeah. My wife's a big part of the act.

Census-Taker: [ shaking head ] You know what? Fine. [ changing subject ] Mr. Leonard, are you a citizen of the United States?

Mr. Leonard: I have dual-citizenship with the United States and Florida.

Census-Taker: Florida is a part of the United States.

Mr. Leonard: Don't push your politics on me, pal. All's I know is when I turned 50, I was issued a Florida passport. [ hands him the "passport" ] Here you go.

Census-Taker: [ examining "passport" ] Alright.. this is a novelty birthday card. And it says, "You're over the hill. Here's a passport to Florida." This is not a real passport.

Mr. Leonard: I don't know.. you know? Whenever I go to Florida, I show it at the border, and they always let me in!

Census-Taker: Listen, Mr. Leonard. A real passport wouldn't have a picture of a sexy nurse on it. This is a joke card.

Mr. Leonard: Well.. it's a hell of a forgery!

Census-Taker: [ exasperated ] Okay, let's just proceed as if this were going really well. Now, how long have you lived at this address?

Mr. Leonard: Oh, man! There you go with the numbers again!

Census-Taker: Just take your time.

Mr. Leonard: Well, what do most people say?

Census-Taker: That's not important!

Mr. Leonard: I feel an enormous amount of pressure to get this right. I want to win that car!

Census-Taker: [ shaking his head ] There's no car, Mr. Leonard! How long have you lived here?

Mr. Leonard: Alright, when I moved in, it was the Spring, and Clinton was President.. I'd just gotten out of jail.. I'd say an hour.

Census-Taker: Alright, let me go over this again, then. You are a convicted criminal, living alone in an apartment with a bobcat. And you work 56 hours a week as a street performer.

Mr. Leonard: When you say it like that, my life sounds pretty damn good!

Census-Taker: You know what? I've talked to a lot of people all over this country.. and your life is pretty damn good. You wanna get a beer?

Mr. Leonard: You know, I'd love to, but.. [ points into apartment ] ..you know.. the ol' ball and chain..

Census-Taker: Alright. Take care.

Mr. Leonard: Have a good one. [ returns into the apartment to find his bobcat/wife growling at him ] Again?! We just did it!

[SerpentDove]

One day a census-taker came by my house and one of the questions was about my race.

Now, I am white as a sheet, and the question was stupid. But I guess he had to ask.

When I told him I was an Eskimo, you should have seen his face. Total shock. I asked "Anything else?" "No, sir." "Thanks, and have a nice day."

I shut the door and he went on his way.

[lowbridge]

What can I do to make this guy cease and desist?

The next time he comes to the door, wear a towel on your head and ask him for directions to the Chicago Sears Tower. He'll never bother you again.

[blu]

Why are they contacting you in a non-census year? Why are they seeking only financial info? I think you should contact the highest level Census official you can find (not by email, not by your home or cell) from a payphone.

I am suspicious of this. Yes, a census can be taken in a non-census year in a local area, usually to determine a body count for some kind of funding. But, just wanting your $$ info...that's strange. I think you need to see some bona fides, and answer their questions...over the phone!