A few of my favorite quotes
(latest update: March 16, 2017)
“To consider the judges as the ultimate arbiters of all constitutional questions [is] a very dangerous doctrine indeed, and one which would place us under the despotism of an oligarchy. Our judges are as honest as other men and not more so. They have with others the same passions for party, for power, and the privilege of their corps.”
- Thomas Jefferson “Have you ever been in love? Horrible isn't it? It makes you so vulnerable. It opens your chest and it opens up your heart and it means that someone can get inside you and mess you up. You build up all these defenses, you build up a whole suit of armor, so that nothing can hurt you, then one stupid person, no different from any other stupid person, wanders into your stupid life...You give them a piece of you. They didn't ask for it. They did something dumb one day, like kiss you or smile at you, and then your life isn't your own anymore. Love takes hostages. It gets inside you. It eats you out and leaves you crying in the darkness, so simple a phrase like 'maybe we should be just friends' turns into a glass splinter working its way into your heart. It hurts. Not just in the imagination. Not just in the mind. It's a soul-hurt, a real gets-inside-you-and-rips-you-apart pain. I hate love.”
― Neil Gaiman, The Sandman, Vol. 9: The Kindly Ones "History fails to record a single precedent in which nations subject to moral decay have not passed into political and economic decline. There has been either a spiritual awakening to overcome the moral lapse, or a progressive deterioration leading to ultimate national disaster."
-- General Douglas MacArthur "Glory is fleeting, but obscurity is forever”
- Napoleon Bonaparte "Don't be so humble - you are not that great"
- Golda Meir to a visiting diplomat "People demand freedom of speech to make up for the freedom of thought which they avoid"
- Soren Aabye Kierkegaard "Facts are stubborn things, and whatever may be our wishes, our inclinations, or the dictates of our passions, they cannot alter the state of facts and evidence."
- John Adams "We must lay before Him what is in us, not what ought to be in us."
C. S. Lewis "Give me chastity and continence, but not yet.”
Saint Augustine (354-430) Berlin, 1 Sept. 1939: Reich Leader Bouhler and Dr. Med. Brandt are charged with the responsibility of enlarging the competence of certain physicians, designated by name, so that patients who, on the basis of human judgment, are considered incurable, can be granted mercy death after a discerning diagnosis.
A. Hitler It is impossible to build sound Constitutional doctrine
on a mistaken understanding of Constitutional history...
The establishment clause had been expressely freighted with
Jeffersons misleading metaphor for nearly forty years...
There is simply no historical foundation for the proposition
that the framers intended to build a wall of seperation
[between church and state]...
The recent court decisions are in no way based on either
the language or the intent of the framers.
William H. Rehnquist
1985 Assoc. Justice U.S. Supreme Court
Wallace vs Jafree "The greatest evil is not done in those sordid dens of evil that Dickens loved to paint but is conceived and ordered (moved, seconded, carried, and minuted) in clear, carpeted, warmed, well-lighted offices, by quiet men with white collars and cut fingernails and smooth-shaven cheeks who do not need to raise their voices."
-C. S. Lewis "A Christian should not support a government that suppresses the faith or one that sanctions the taking of an innocent human life."
-Supreme Court Justice Antonin Scalia
"A good example is the best sermon."
--Ben Franklin "Life is tough. Life is tougher if you're stupid."
--John Wayne
"The hottest fires in hell are reserved for those who remain neutral in times of moral crisis."
-Edmund Burke You must do your duty in all things you can never do more, you should never wish to do less.
- Robert E. Lee "I have never let my schooling interfere with my education."
-Mark Twain "Duty is ours; the consequences are God's."
-Stonewall Jackson "Congress has not unlimited powers to provide for the general welfare, but only those specifically enumerated."
-Thomas Jefferson "Keep steady in the view of the great principles for which you contend. The safety of your homes and the lives of all you hold dear depend upon your courage and exertions. Let each man resolve to be victorious, and that the right of self government, liberty and peace shall find him a defender."
-General Robert E. Lee to his men, 1861 "He alone deserves to be remembered by his children who treasures up and preserves the memory of his fathers."
-Edmund Burke "The Red Legs [Federals troops with red leggings] made people...sign loyalty oaths, too, and that was just a bunch of nonsense as it always has been and always will be. You can't force people to be loyal by making them sign a piece of paper, and it was the experience of my family that made me be against loyalty oaths. And I have always been, was when I was Presdent and before and am now."
--Harry Truman on Oaths "The inherent vice of capitalism is the unequal sharing of the blessings.
The inherent blessing of socialism is the equal sharing of misery."
-Winston Churchill No man's life, liberty, or property are safe while the legislature is in session.
-Mark Twain (1866) "Just because you do not take an interest in politics doesn't mean politics won't take an interest in you."
-Pericles (430 B.C.) "Never buy a saddle until you have met the horse."
-Mort Zuckerman Publisher “Shall we expect some transatlantic military giant to step the ocean and crush us at a blow? Never! All the armies of Europe, Asia, and Africa combined, with all the treasure of the earth (our own excepted) in their military chest; with a Bonaparte for a commander, could not by force take a drink from the Ohio, or make a track on the Blue Ridge, in a trial of a thousand years. At what point then is the approach of danger to be expected? I answer, if it ever reach us, it must spring up amongst us. It cannot come from abroad. If destruction were our lot, we must ourselves be its author and finisher. As a nation of freemen, we must live through all time, or die by suicide."
-Abraham Lincoln "If ye love wealth greater than liberty, the tranquility of servitude greater than the animating contest for freedom, go home from us in peace. We seek not your consul, nor your arms. Crouch down and lick the hand that feeds you. May your chains set lightly upon you; and may posterity forget ye were our countrymen."
-- Samuel Adams "The best form of defense is attack."
- Karl von Clausewitz “Moral indignation is the standard strategy for endowing the idiot with dignity.”
-Marshall McLuhan "Of all tyrannies, a tyranny exercised for the good of its victims may be the most oppressive. It may be better to live under robber barons than under omnipotent moral busybodies. The robber baron's cruelty may sometimes sleep, his cupidity may at some point be satiated; but those who torment us for our own good will torment us without end, for they do so with the approval of their consciences."
- C.S Lewis "Good intentions will always be pleaded for every assumption of authority. It is hardly too strong to say that the Constitution was made to guard the people against the dangers of good intentions. There are men in all ages who mean to govern well, but they mean to govern. They promise to be good masters, but they mean to be masters."
- Daniel Webster "If the government becomes a lawbreaker, it breeds contempt for law; it invites every man to become a law unto himself; it invites anarchy. To declare that in the administration of criminal law, the end justifies the means...would bring terrible retribution."
- (Justice Brandeis, J., dissenting) Olmstead v. United States, 277 U.S. 438, 485 (1928) "There is only one principle of war and that's this: Hit the other fellow, as quickly as you can, as hard as you can, where it hurts him most, when he ain't lookin'."
- Sir William Joseph Slim, British Army, Field Marshal "Not everything that can be counted counts, and not everything that counts can be counted. "
- Albert Einstein
Growth for the sake of growth is the ideology of the cancer cell.
-Edward Abbey (1927-1989) I have noted that persons with bad judgment are most insistent that we do what they think best.
-Lionel Abel (1911-2001) "I do not feel obliged to believe that the same God who has endowed us with sense, reason, and intellect has intended us to forgo their use. "
- Galileo Galilei "I'll moider da bum. "
- Heavyweight boxer Tony Galento, when asked what he thought of William Shakespeare "In theory, there is no difference between theory and practice. But, in practice, there is. "
- Jan L.A. van de Snepscheut "Good people do not need laws to tell them to act responsibly, while bad people will find a way around the laws."
- Plato "Never interrupt your enemy when he is making a mistake."
- Napoleon Bonaparte "Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go."
- Oscar Wilde "If you can count your money, you don't have a billion dollars."
- J. Paul Getty "Once you eliminate the impossible, whatever remains, no matter how improbable, must be the truth."
- Sherlock Holmes (by Sir Arthur Conan Doyle) "I've had a wonderful time, but this wasn't it." - Groucho Marx "The optimist proclaims that we live in the best of all possible worlds, and the pessimist fears this is true."
- James Branch Cabell When the passions become masters, they are vices."
-Pascal, 1670 "All are lunatics, but he who can analyze his delusion is called a philosopher."
- Ambrose Pierce (1842-1914) "The true measure of a man is how he treats someone who can do him absolutely no good."
- Samuel Johnson (1709-1784) "All truth passes through three stages. First, it is ridiculed. Second, it is violently opposed. Third, it is accepted as being self-evident."
- Arthur Schopenhauer "While we are postponing, life speeds by."
- Seneca "Fill what's empty, empty what's full, and scratch where it itches."
- the Duchess of Windsor, when asked what is the secret of a long and happy life "If everyone knew everything about everyone, no one would have anything to do with anyone"
-Gregory Taylor "My advice to you is get married: if you find a good wife you'll be happy; if not, you'll become a philosopher. "
- Socrates "In science one tries to tell people, in such a way as to be understood by everyone, something that no one ever knew before. But in poetry, it's the exact opposite. "
- Paul Dirac (1902-1984) "Reality is merely an illusion, albeit a very persistent one. "
- Albert Einstein "One of the symptoms of an approaching nervous breakdown is the belief that one's work is terribly important. "
- Bertrand Russell "Three o'clock is always too late or too early for anything you want to do. "
- Jean-Paul Sartre (1905-1980) "A doctor can bury his mistakes but an architect can only advise his clients to plant vines. "
- Frank Lloyd Wright "If you haven't got anything nice to say about anybody, come sit next to me. "
- Alice Roosevelt Longworth (1884-1980) "I think our governments will remain virtuous for many centuries as long as they are chiefly agricultural; and this will be as long as there shall be vacant lands in any part of America. When they get piled upon one another in large cities as in Europe, they will become corrupt as in Europe."
--Thomas Jefferson to James Madison, 1787. Papers 12:442 "A liberal's way to clean up a swamp is to go around and kill each mosquito one by one, but only after France and Germany say it's okay. What would France be contributing anyway? Their last military mobilization was loading Jews onto trains to concentration camps. The Warsaw ghetto held out longer than the French military."
-Ann Coulter "I view great cities as pestilential to the morals, the health and the liberties of man. True, they nourish some of the elegant arts; but the useful ones can thrive elsewhere; and less perfection in the others, with more health, virtue and freedom, would be my choice."
-Thomas Jefferson to Benjamin Rush, 1800. ME 10:173 "The United States is just a 280 million page supermarket tabloid."
-Gregory Taylor "No one can earn a million dollars honestly. "
- William Jennings Bryan "Everything has been figured out, except how to live. "
- Jean-Paul Sartre "It is better to have a permanent income than to be fascinating. "
- Oscar Wilde "When ideas fail, words come in very handy. "
- Goethe (1749-1832) "In the end, everything is a gag. "
- Charlie Chaplin "You got to be careful if you don't know where you're going, because you might not get there."
- Yogi Berra "The graveyards are full of indispensable men. "
- Charles de Gaulle "You can pretend to be serious; you can't pretend to be witty. "
- Sacha Guitry (1885-1957) "Behind every great fortune there is a crime. "
- Honore de Balzac (1799-1850) "If women didn't exist, all the money in the world would have no meaning. "
- Aristotle Onassis (1906-1975) "I have an existential map; it has 'you are here' written all over it."
- Steven Wright "The covers of this book are too far apart. "
Ambrose Bierce (1842-1914) "Everywhere I go I'm asked if I think the university stifles writers. My opinion is that they don't stifle enough of them. "
- Flannery O'Connor "Anything that is too stupid to be spoken is sung. "
- Voltaire "No Sane man will dance. "
- Cicero (106-43 B.C.) "Show me a sane man and I will cure him for you. "
- Carl Gustav Jung "Vote early and vote often. "
- Al Capone (1899-1947) "If I were two-faced, would I be wearing this one?"
- Abraham Lincoln (1809-1865) "Happiness is good health and a bad memory. "
- Ingrid Bergman "You can get more with a kind word and a gun than you can with a kind word alone."
- Al Capone (1899-1947) "You seem to consider the judges as the final arbiters of all constitutional questions; a very dangerous doctrine indeed, and one that would put us under the despotism of an oligarchy."
-Thomas Jefferson "If our nation be destroyed, it would be from the judiciary."
Thomas Jefferson "Eulogy of The Dog"
By: George G. Vest
Gentlemen of the jury, the best friend a man has in this world may turn against him and become his enemy. His son or daughter whom he has reared with loving care may prove ungrateful. Those who are nearest and dearest to us---those who we trust with our happiness and our good name---may become traitors to their faith. The money that a man has he may lose. It flies away from him, perhaps when he needs it most. A man's reputation may be sacrificed in a moment of ill-considered action. The people who are prone to fall on their knees to do us honor when success is with us may be the first to throw the stone of malice when failure settles its clouds upon our heads. The one absolutely unselfish friend that man can have in this selfish world---the one that never deserts him, the one that never proves ungrateful or treacherous---is his dog. Gentlemen of the jury, a man's dog stands by him in prosperity and in poverty, in health and sickness. He will sleep on the cold ground where the wintry winds blow and the snow drives fiercely, if only he can be near his master's side. He will kiss the hand that has no food to offer, he will lick the wounds and sores that come in encounter with the roughness of the world. He guards the sleep of his pauper master as if he were a prince. When all other friends desert, he remains. When riches take wings and reputation falls to pieces he is as constant in his love as the sun in its journey through the heavens. If fortune drives the master forth an outcast in the world, friendless and homeless, the faithful dog asks no higher privilege than that of accompanying him to guard against danger, to fight against his enemies. And when the last scene of all comes, and death takes the master in its embrace, and his body is laid away in the cold ground, no matter if all other friends pursue their way, there by his graveside will the noble dog be found, his head between his paws, his eyes sad but open in alert watchfulness, faithful and true even to death. -Compiled from eye witness accounts of a trial summary delivered by George Graham Vest in 1870 at the old courthouse in Warrensburg, MO during a trial about the shooting of a farmer’s dog named “Old Drum” by a neighbor." "Every day I get up and look through the Forbes list of the richest people in America. If I'm not there, I go to work."
- Robert Orben "The cynics are right nine times out of ten. "
- Henry Louis Mencken (1880-1956) "There are some experiences in life which should not be demanded twice from any man, and one of them is listening to the Brahms Requiem.
- George Bernard Shaw "Attention to health is life's greatest hindrance. "
- Plato "Plato was a bore. "
- Friedrich Nietzsche "Nietzsche was stupid and abnormal. "
- Leo Tolstoy "I'm not going to get into the ring with Tolstoy. "
- Ernest Hemingway "Hemingway was a jerk. "
- Harold Robbins "How can I lose to such an idiot?"
- A shout from chessmaster Aaron Nimzovich (1886-1935) "History fails to record a single precedent in which nations subject to moral decay have not passed into political and economic decline. There has been either a spiritual awakening to overcome the moral lapse, or a progressive deterioration leading to ultimate national disaster."
- General Douglas MacArthur "Men have become the tools of their tools."
- Henry David Thoreau "Men and nations behave wisely once they have exhausted all the other alternatives. "
- Abba Eban "Copy from one, it's plagiarism; copy from two, it's research. "
- Wilson Mizner "Why don't you write books people can read?"
- Nora Joyce to her husband James "The most male voice in Christendom. Every man knows he is a sissy compared to Johnny Cash."
-Bono. "Some editors are failed writers, but so are most writers. "
- T. S. Eliot "Being on the tightrope is living; everything else is waiting."
- Karl Wallenda "The average person thinks he isn't."
- Father Larry Lorenzoni "Ask her to wait a moment - I am almost done. "
- Carl Friedrich Gauss (1777-1855), while working, when informed that his wife is dying "I think there is a world market for maybe five computers. "
- Thomas Watson (1874-1956), Chairman of IBM, 1943 "The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing. "
- Edmund Burke "I'm not a member of any organized political party, I'm a Democrat!"
- Will Rogers "There is no reason anyone would want a computer in their home. "
- Ken Olson, president, chairman and founder of Digital Equipment Corp., 1977 "640K ought to be enough for anybody."
- Bill Gates 1981 "The concept is interesting and well-formed, but in order to earn better than a 'C', the idea must be feasible. "
- A Yale University management professor in response to student Fred Smith's paper proposing reliable overnight delivery service (Smith went on to found Federal Express Corp.) "We don't like their sound, and guitar music is on the way out. "
- Decca Recording Co. rejecting the Beatles, 1962 "Everything that can be invented has been invented. "
- Charles H. Duell, Commissioner, U.S. Office of Patents, 1899 "Denial ain't just a river in Egypt. "
- Mark Twain (1835-1910) "After I'm dead I'd rather have people ask why I have no monument than why I have one. "
- Cato the Elder (234-149 BC, AKA Marcus Porcius Cato) "He can compress the most words into the smallest idea of any man I know. "
- Abraham Lincoln "Don't let it end like this. Tell them I said something. "
- last words of Pancho Villa (1877-1923) "The right to swing my fist ends where the other man's nose begins. "
- Oliver Wendell Holmes "The difference between fiction and reality? Fiction has to make sense. "
- Tom Clancy "It is better to be feared than loved, if you cannot be both. "
- Niccolo Machiavelli (1469-1527), "The Prince" "Whatever is begun in anger ends in shame. "
- Benjamin Franklin (1706-1790) "The President has kept all of the promises he intended to keep. "
- Clinton aide George Stephanopolous speaking on Larry King Live "We're going to turn this team around 360 degrees. "
- Jason Kidd, upon his drafting to the Dallas Mavericks "Half this game is ninety percent mental. "
- Yogi Berra "There is only one nature - the division into science and engineering is a human imposition, not a natural one. Indeed, the division is a human failure; it reflects our limited capacity to comprehend the whole. "
- Bill Wulf "He has all the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire."
- Sir Winston Churchill "This isn't right, this isn't even wrong."
- Wolfgang Pauli (1900-1958), upon reading a young physicist's paper "I've just learned about his illness. Let's hope it's nothing trivial."
- Irvin S. Cobb "We are not retreating - we are advancing in another Direction."
- General Douglas MacArthur "There are only two tragedies in life: one is not getting what one wants, and the other is getting it."
- Oscar Wilde "There are only two ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle."
- Albert Einstein "Every generalization is dangerous, especially this one."
— Mark Twain "The only real valuable thing is intuition."
— Albert Einstein "The best way to find yourself is to lose yourself in the service of others."
— "Mahatma" Mohandas Karamchand Gandhi "The doors of wisdom are never shut."
— Benjamin Franklin "A day without laughter is a day wasted."
— Charlie Chaplin "Children seldom misquote you. In fact, they usually repeat word for word what you shouldn't have said."
— unknown "Imagination is the highest kite one can fly."
— Lauren Bacall "Good manners and bad breath will get you nowhere".
- Elvis Costello "Caution: Cape does not enable user to fly".
— Batman costume warning label, Wal-Mart, 1995 "I would recommend a solo flight to all prospective suicides. It tends to make clear the issue of whether one enjoys being alive or not".
— T. H. White, 'England Have My Bones,' 1936 "What you do speaks so loud that I cannot hear what you say".
-Ralph Waldo Emerson "Experience is the name that everyone gives to their mistakes".
-Oscar Wilde "Sometimes a scream is better than a thesis."
-Ralph Waldo Emerson "I've never had major knee surgery on any other part of my body."
-Winston Bennett, University of Kentucky basketball forward "Smoking kills. If you're killed, you've lost a very important part of your life."
-Brooke Shields "Outside of the killings, Washington has one of the lowest crime rates in the country."
-Mayor Marion Barry, Washington, DC "We've got to pause and ask ourselves: How much clean air do we need?"
-Lee Iacocca "Please provide the date of your death."
-from an IRS letter "I was under medication when I made the decision to burn the tapes."
-Richard Nixon "We are sorry to announce that Mr Albert Brown has been quite unwell, owing to his recent death, and is taking a short holiday to recover."
-Parish Magazine "Men, I want you just thinking of one word all season. One word and one word only: Super Bowl."
-Bill Peterson, football coach "Be sure and put some of those neutrons on it."
-Mike Smith, Baseball pitcher, ordering a salad at a restaurant "We are not without accomplishment. We have managed to distribute poverty equally."
-Nguyen Co Thatch, Vietnamese foreign minister "The word "genius" isn't applicable in football. A genius is a guy like Norman Einstein."
-Joe Theisman, NFL football quarterback and sports analyst "I've read about foreign policy and studied -- I know the number of continents."
-George Wallace, 1968 presidential campaign "We don't necessarily discriminate. We simply exclude certain types of people."
-Colonel Gerald Wellman, ROTC Instructor "If we don't succeed, we run the risk of failure."
-Dan Quayle "We are ready for an unforseen event that may or may not occur."
-Dan Quayle "It isn't pollution that's harming the environment. It's the impurities in our air and water that are doing it."
-Dan Quayle "I love California. I practically grew up in Phoenix."
-Dan Quayle "Traditionally, most of Australia's imports come from overseas."
-Keppel Enderbery "The loss of life will be irreplaceable."
-Dan Quayle "A verbal contract isn't worth the paper it's written on."
-Samual Goldwyn "It is wonderful to be here in the great state of Chicago..."
-Dan Quayle "The people in the Navy look on motherhood as being compatible with being a woman."
-Rear Admiral James R. Hogg "I'm all in favor of keeping dangerous weapons out of the hands of fools. Let's start with typewriters."
- Frank Lloyd Wright "I stand by all the misstatements that I've made."
-Dan Quayle "Your food stamps will be stopped effective March 1992 because we received notice that you passed away. May God bless you. You may reapply if there is a change in your circumstances."
-Department of Social Services, Greenville, South Carolina "We apologize for the error in last week's paper in which we stated that Mr. Arnold Dogbody was a defective in the police force. We meant, of course, that Mr. Dogbody is a detective in the police farce."
-Correction Notice in the Ely Standard, a British newspaper "If somebody has a bad heart, they can plug this jack in at night as they go to bed and it will monitor their heart throughout the night. And the next morning, when they wake up dead, there'll be a record."
-Mark S. Fowler, FCC Chairman "Antidotes are what you take to prevent dotes."
-Anonymous "Be sure to include tranquilizers to ease the strain and monotony of life in a fallout shelter. A bottle of 100 should be sufficient for a family of four. Tranquilizers are not a narcotic, and are not habit-forming."
-Atomic Cafe "No man is ever old enough to know better."
-Holbrook Jackson "I don't deserve this award, but I have arthritis and I don't deserve that either."
-Jack Benny "When an actor comes to me and wants to discuss his character, I say, 'It's in the script.' If he says, 'But what's my motivation?, ' I say, 'Your salary.'"
-Alfred Hitchcock " "The most merciful thing that a family does to one of its infant members is to kill it."
--Margaret Sanger, Founder of Planned Parenthood "Birth control must lead ultimately to a cleaner race."
--Margaret Sanger, Founder of Planned Parenthood "We should hire three or four colored ministers, preferably with social-service backgrounds, and with engaging personalities. The most successful educational approach to the Negro is through a religious appeal. We don't want the word to go out that we want to exterminate the Negro population…"
--Margaret Sanger, Founder of Planned Parenthood "Eugenic sterilization is an urgent need ... We must prevent multiplication of this bad stock."
--Margaret Sanger, Founder of Planned Parenthood "Eugenics is … the most adequate and thorough avenue to the solution of racial, political and social problems.
--Margaret Sanger, Founder of Planned Parenthood "Birth control itself, often denounced as a violation of natural law, is nothing more or less than the facilitation of the process of weeding out the unfit, of preventing the birth of defectives or of those who will become defectives."
--Margaret Sanger, Founder of Planned Parenthood "The unbalance between the birth rate of the 'unfit' and the 'fit,' [is] the greatest present menace to civilization… the most urgent problem today is how to limit and discourage the over-fertility of the mentally and physically defective."
--Margaret Sanger, Founder of Planned Parenthood "The campaign for birth control is not merely of eugenic value, but is practically identical with the final aims of eugenics."
--Margaret Sanger, Founder of Planned Parenthood "Our failure to segregate morons who are increasing and multiplying… a dead weight of human waste… an ever-increasing, unceasingly spawning class of human beings who never should have been born at all."
--Margaret Sanger, Founder of Planned Parenthood "The undeniably feeble-minded should, indeed, not only be discouraged but prevented from propagating their kind."
--Margaret Sanger, Founder of Planned Parenthood "The procreation of [the diseased, the feeble-minded and paupers] should be stopped."
--Margaret Sanger, Founder of Planned Parenthood "The marriage bed is the most degenerative influence in the social order..."
--Margaret Sanger, Founder of Planned Parenthood "[Our objective is] unlimited sexual gratification without the burden of unwanted children..."
--Margaret Sanger, Founder of Planned Parenthood "[Mandatory] sterilization for [the insane and feeble-minded] is the answer."
--Margaret Sanger, Founder of Planned Parenthood "Give dysgenic groups [people with 'bad genes'] in our population their choice of segregation or [compulsory] sterilization."
--Margaret Sanger, Founder of Planned Parenthood I argue very well. Ask any of my remaining friends. I can win an argument on any topic, against any opponent. People know this, and steer clear of me at parties. Often, as a sign of their great respect, they don't even invite me."
-Dave Barry "The fellow that agrees with everything you say is either a fool or he is getting ready to skin you."
-Kin Hubbard "We do not want word to get out that we want to exterminate the Negro population"
-Margaret Sanger "By working faithfully eight hours a day, you may get to be a boss and work twelve hours a day."
-Robert Frost "Our character is what we do when we think no one is looking."
-H. Jackson Brown, Jr. "If the automobile had followed the same development cycle as the computer, a Rolls-Royce would today cost $100, get one million miles to the gallon, and explode once a year, killing everyone inside."
-Robert X. Cringely "Sure there have been injuries and deaths in boxing - but none of them serious."
- Alan Minter, Boxer "I think that the film Clueless was very deep. I think it was deep in the way that it was very light. I think lightness has to come from a very deep place if it's true lightness."
- Alicia Silverstone, Actress "How to store your baby walker: First, remove baby."
- Anonymous Manufacturer " This is no longer a slum neighborhood. I haven't heard of a Cubs fan being shot in a long time."
- Anonymous Wrigley Field Neighbor, Chicago, IL "During the scrimmage, Tarkanian paced the sideline with his hands in his pockets while biting his nails."
- AP report describing Fresno State basketball coach Jerry Tarkanian "Two grand slams in a week - man, that's seven or eight ribbies right there."
- Bill Madlock, Baseball broadcaster "You guys line up alphabetically by height." -
Bill Peterson, Florida State football coach "The internet is a great way to get on the net."
- Bob Dole, Republican presidential candidate "I get to go to lots of overseas places, like Canada." -
Britney Spears, Pop Singer "I discovered I scream the same way whether I'm about to be devoured by a Great White or if a piece of seaweed touches my foot."
- Axel Rose (Guns'n'Roses) "I saw a woman wearing a sweatshirt with 'Guess' on it. I said, 'Thyroid problem?'"
- Arnold Schwarzenegger "The hardest years in life are those between ten and seventy".
- Helen Hayes (at 73) "Wise men talk because they have something to say. Fools talk because they have to say something."
- Plato "Try not to become a man of success, but rather, try to become a man of value."
- Albert Einstein "Clothes make the man. Naked people have little or no influence on society."
-Mark Twain "Woman are meant to be loved, not to be understood".
-Oscar Wilde "Love is the only force capable of transforming an enemy into a friend".
-Martin Luther King, Jr. "If you love your job, you haven't worked a day in your life."
-Tommy Lasorda "Keep your face to the sunshine and you will not see the shadows".
- Helen Keller "You miss 100 percent of the shots you never take."
- Wayne Gretzky "People think we make $3 million and $4 million a year. They don't realize that most of us only make $500,000."
-Pete Incaviglia, baseball player, 1990 "Time you enjoy wasting, was not wasted."
-John Lennon "This American system of ours, call it Americanism, call it capitalism, call it what you will, gives each and every one of us a great opportunity if we only seize it with both hands and make the most of it."
- Al Capone "The problem with people who have no vices is that generally you can be pretty sure they're going to have some pretty annoying virtues."
-Elizabeth Taylor "We have staked the whole future of American civilization, not upon the power of government, far from it. We have staked the future upon the capacity of each and all of us to govern ourselves, to sustain ourselves, according to the Ten Commandments of God"
- James Madison "If you're going through hell, keep going."
-Walt Disney "Anyone who can walk to the welfare office can walk to work."
-Al Capone "What luck for rulers that men do not think."
- Adolf Hitler "Hollywood is a place where they'll pay you 50,000 dollars for a kiss and 50 cents for your soul."
- Marilyn Monroe "One man with courage is a majority."-- Thomas Jefferson "It's just a job. Grass grows, birds fly, waves pound the sand. I beat people up."
- Muhammad Ali "I never set out to hurt anybody deliberately unless it was, you know, important. Like a league game or something."
-Dick Butkus "I'm not smart enough to lie."
- Ronald Reagan "You can't get good Chinese takeout in China and Cuban cigars are rationed in Cuba. That's all you need to know about communism."
- P.J. O'Rourke "Freedom is not empowerment. Empowerment is what the Serbs have in Bosnia. Anybody can grab a gun and be empowered. It's not entitlement. An entitlement is what people on welfare get, and how free are they? It's not an endlessly expanding list of rights - the 'right' to education, the 'right' to health care, the 'right' to food and housing. That's not freedom, that's dependency. Those aren't rights, those are the rations of slavery - hay and a barn for human cattle."
- P.J. O'Rourke "If you think healthcare is expensive now, just wait until it's free."
-P.J. O'Rourke "Politics should be limited in scope to war, protection of property, and the occasional precautionary beheading of a member of the ruling class."
-P.J. O'Rourke "Giving money and power to government is like giving whiskey and car keys to teenaged boys."
-P.J. O'Rourke "Authority has always attracted the lowest elements in the human race. All through history, mankind has been bullied by scum. Those who lord it over their fellows and toss commands in every direction and would boss the grass in the meadow about which way to bend in the wind are the most depraved kind of prostitutes. They will submit to any indignity, perform any vile act, do anything to achieve power. The worst off-sloughings of the planet are the ingredients of sovereignty. Every government is a parliament of whores. The trouble is, in a democracy the whores are us."
-P.J. O'Rourke The free market is ugly and stupid, like going to the mall; the unfree market is just as ugly and just as stupid, except there's nothing in the mall and if you don't go there they shoot you."
P.J. O'Rourke "Actors--is there anything they don't know?"
-Homer Simpson "You can say that to an audience whose understanding of history goes back to breakfast"
-Bejamin Netanyahu "War is an ugly thing, but not the ugliest of things. The decayed and degraded state of moral and patriotic feeling which thinks that nothing is worth war is much worse. The person who has nothing for which he is willing to fight, nothing which is more important than his own personal safety, is a miserable creature and has no chance of being free unless made and kept so by the exertions of better men than himself."
- John Stuart Mill "Anyone who imagines that bliss is normal is going to waste a lot of time running around shouting that he's been robbed. The fact is that most putts don't drop, most beef is tough, most children grow up to be just people, most successful marriages require a high degree of mutual toleration, and most jobs are more often dull than otherwise. Life is like an old time journey...delays, sidetracks, smoke, dust, cinders, and jolts, interspersed only occasionally by beautiful vistas, and thrilling bursts of speed. The trick is to thank the Lord for letting you have the ride."
-Gordon B Hinckley "When I began entering into the give and take of legislative bargaining in Sacramento, a lot of the most radical conservatives who had supported me during the election didn't like it.”Compromise" was a dirty word to them and they wouldn't face the fact that we couldn't get all of what we wanted today. They wanted all or nothing and they wanted it all at once. If you don't get it all, some said, don't take anything. "I'd learned while negotiating union contracts that you seldom got everything you asked for. And I agreed with FDR, who said in 1933: 'I have no expectations of making a hit every time I come to bat. What I seek is the highest possible batting average.' "If you got seventy-five or eighty percent of what you were asking for, I say, you take it and fight for the rest later, and that's what I told these radical conservatives who never got used to it.
- Ronald Reagan, in his autobiography, An American Life. "The art of war is of vital importance to the State. It is a matter of life and death, a road either to safety or to ruin. Hence it is a subject of inquiry which can on no account be neglected."
- Sun Tzu, "The Art Of War" "I against my brother, I and my brother against our cousin I, my brother and our cousin against the neighbours, All of us against the foreigner."
- Bedouin proverb "I must study politics and war that my sons may have liberty to study mathmatics and philosophy."
- John Adams "Of all the enemies to public liberty, war is, perhaps, the most to be dreaded, because it comprises and develops the germ of every other. War is the parent of armies; from these proceed debts and taxes; and armies, and debts, and taxes are the known instruments for bringing the many under the domination of the few. No nation could preserve its freedom in the midst of continual warfare."
- James Madison "In a general view, there are few conquests that repay the charge of making them, and mankind are pretty well convinced that it can never be worth their while to go to war for profit's sake. If they are made war upon, their country invaded, or their existence at stake, it is their duty to defend and preserve themselves, but in every other light, and from every other cause, is war inglorious and detestable."
- Thomas Paine "Peace is a condition in which no civilian pays any attention to military casualties which do not achieve a page one lead story - unless that civilian is a close relative of one of the casualties. But, if there ever was a time in history when "peace" meant that there was no fighting going on, I have been unable to find out about it."
- Robert A. Heinlein, "Starship Troopers" "No war ought ever to be undertaken but under circumstances which render all intercourse of courtesy between the combatants impossible. It is a bad thing that men should hate each other; but it is far worse that they should contract the habit of cutting one another's throats without hatred. War is never lenient but where it is wanton; when men are compelled to fight in self-defence, they must hate and avenge: this may be bad; but it is human nature."
- Thomas B. Macaulay, "Milford's History of Greece", 1824. "It is the soldier, not the reporter, who has given us freedom of the press. It is the soldier, not the poet, who has given us freedom of speech. It is the soldier, not the campus organizer, who has given us the freedom to demonstrate. It is the soldier, who salutes the flag, who serves beneath the flag, and whose coffin is draped by the flag, who allows the protester to burn the flag."
- Charles M. Province "If you will not fight for the right when you can easily win without bloodshed, if you will not fight when your victory will be sure and not too costly, you may come to the moment when you will have to fight with all the odds against you and only a small chance of survival. There may even be a worse case: you may have to fight when there is no hope of victory, because it is better to perish than to live as slaves."
- Winston Churchill. "Never, never, in nothing great or small, large or petty, never give in except to convictions of honour and good sense. Never yield to force; never yield to the apparently overwhelming might of the enemy."
- Winston Churhcill "It is better that London should lie in ruins and ashes than that we should surrender."
- Winston Churchill "It is enough of a claim to historic greatness for a man to have saved his own country. Winston Churchill may have saved civilization."
- Thomas Sowell, "The Best of the Century" "The dogmas of the quiet past are inadequate to the stormy present. The occasion is piled high with difficulty, and we must rise to the occasion. We cannot escape history. We will be remembered in spite of ourselves. The fiery trial through which we pass will light us down in honour or dishonour, to the last generation. We shall nobly save, or meanly lose, our last best hope of Earth."
- Abraham Lincoln, American Civil War. "Let every nation know, whether it wishes us well or ill, we shall pay any price, bear any burden, meet any hardship, support any friend, oppose any foe, to assure the survival and success of liberty."
- John Fitzgerald Kennedy "The way to bring out the best in the British people is to attack them."
- Alasdair MacIntyre "World War is the second worst activity of mankind, the worst being acquiescence in slavery."
- On the Right "Americans, indeed all freemen, remember that in the final choice, a soldier's pack is not so heavy a burden as a prisoner's chains."
- Dwight D. Eisenhower "Sometimes true peace can only be found on the other side of war."
- Unknown "Pacifism in the face of war is not only irresponsible - it is immoral. Refusing to meet force with force in the name of peace will beget not peace, but further death and destruction, the very violence the pacifists seek to avoid."
- David Limbaugh "I'm not sure I can take your advice. You are dealing with English Gentlemen. We are dealing with monsters."
- Martin Buber, German Jewish Philosopher, in response to Mahatma Gandhi's suggestion that passive resistance be used to combat the Nazi government in Germany, as was used against the British in India. "It is better to be violent, if there is violence in our hearts, than to put on the cloak of nonviolence to cover impotence."
- GandhiM "It has been said of generals that they are always planning to fight the preceeding war. It can be said with equal irony of peace activists that they are usually trying to prevent the preceeding war."
- Anton Rappoport, "The Origins Of Violence" "Armaments do not, generally speaking, cause wars. This notion, the logical crux of all arguments in favor of disarmament, turns the causal relationship upside down. Actually, it is wars, or conflicts threatening war, that cause armaments, not the reverse."
- James Burnham, "The War We Are In" "As a rule, I am very careful to be shallow and conventional where depth and originality are wasted."
--Lucy Maud Montgomery "Life is fraught with opportunities to keep your mouth shut."
--Winston Churchill "We sleep soundly in our beds at night because rough men stand ready to do violence on our behalf."
- Winston Churchill "A thorn defends the rose, harming only those who would steal the blossom."
- Chinese Proverb "If we desire to secure peace, one of the most powerful instruments of our rising prosperity, it must be known that we are at all times ready for war."
- George Washington "Wars are caused by undefended wealth"
- General Douglas MacArthur "Ironically, peacable kingdoms, being nice, may tempt aggressors to devour them, while nations armed to the teeth, whether nice like the Swiss or nasty like Afghanistan, may live undisturbed for generations."
- Seabury, "War: Ends & Means" "There is nothing so likely to produce peace as to be well prepared to meet the enemy."
- George Washington "Being powerful is like being a lady. If you have to tell people you are - you aren't."
- Margaret Thatcher "I returned, and saw under the sun, that the race is not (always) to the swift, nor the battle to the strong, neither yet bread to the wise, nor yet riches to men ofunderstanding, nor yet favour to men of skill; but time and chance happeneth to them all."
- Ecclesiastes 9.11 "War is a series of catastrophes that results in a victory."
- Georges Clemenceau "When all the world is overcharged with inhabitants, then the last remedy of all is war."
- Thomas Hobbes, "Leviathan" "In peace sons bury their fathers, but in war fathers bury their sons."
- King Croesus (550 B.C.) "One cannot play chess if one becomes aware of the pieces as living souls and of the fact that the Whites and the Blacks have more in common with each other than with the players. Suddenly one loses all interest in who will be champion."
- Anatol Rapoport "In a false quarrel there is no true valour."
- William Shakespeare "Winners never talk about glorious victories. Thats because they're the ones who see what the battle field looks like afterwards. Its only the losers who have glorious victories."
- Terry Pratchett, "Small Gods" "The tragedy of war is that it uses man's best to do man's worst."
- Harry Emerson Fosdick "Arms are instruments of ill omen.... When one is compelled to use them, it is best to do so without relish. There is no glory in victory, and to glorify it despite this is to exult in the killing of men.... When great numbers of people are killed, one should weep over them with sorrow. When victorious in war, one should observe mourning rites."
- Lao Tzu "Every gun that is made, every warship launched, every rocket fired signifies, in the final sense, a theft from those who are cold and not clothed. This world in arms is not spending money alone. It is spending the sweat of its labourers, the genius of its scientists, the hopes of its children."
- President Dwight D. Eisenhower, 1953. "War hath no fury like a non combatant."
- Charles Edward Montague "It is fatal to enter any war without the will to win it."
- Douglas MacArthur, Republican Convention, 1952. "I don't consider myself dovish. And I certainly don't consider myself hawkish. Maybe I would describe myself as owlish - that is, wise enough to understand that you want to do everything possible to avoid war; that once you're committed to war, then ferocious enough to do whatever is necessary to get it over as quickly as possible in victory."
- Norman Schwartzkopf "War is not violence and killing, pure and simple; war is controlled violence, for a purpose. The purpose of war is to support your government's decisions by force. The purpose is never to kill the enemy just to be killing him but to make him do what you want him to do. Not killing... but controlled and purposeful violence."
- Robert A. Heinlein, "Starship Troopers" "The most expensive thing in the world is a second-best military establishment, good but not good enough to win."
-Robert A. Heinlein, "The Happy Days Ahead : Expanded Universe" "War challenges virtually every other institution of society - the justice and equity of its economy, the adequacy of its political systems, the energy of its productive plant, the bases, wisdom and purposes of its foreign policy."
-Walter Millis "The essence of war is violence. Moderation in war is imbecility."
- John A. Fisher "In wartime, truth is so precious that she should always be attended by a bodyguard of lies."
- Winston Churchill "Observe your enemies for they first find out your faults."
- Antisthenes "You can discover what your enemy fears most by observing the means he uses to frighten you."
- Eric Hoffer "Men of sense often learn from their enemies. It is from their foes, not their friends, that cities learn the lesson of building high walls and ships of war.... "
- Aristophanes "One should never permit a disorder to persist in order to avoid a war, for wars cannot be avoided and can only be deferred to the advantage of others."
- Niccolo Machiavelli (1513) "The quickest and most economical way of winning a military decision is to defeat an enemy not at his weakest but at his strongest point.
- Epaminondas. "Know you enemy, and know yourself, and you need not fear the outcome of a thousand battles."
"The purpose of war is peace, in peace prepare for war, in war prepare for peace."
"He who wishes to fight must first count the cost."
"When one is strong, appear weak, when one is weak, appear strong."
"He shall triumph who knows when to fight - and when not to fight."
"He shall triumph who can handle inferior & superior forces."
"To draw an enemy away from an entrenched position, strike at a place that he shall have to relieve."
"The Supreme Art Of War is to subdue the enemy without fighting."
- Sun Tzu, "The Art Of War" "Success can never be obtained by merely following a strategical formula. There is an effective answer to every maneuver, and for each example of successful strategic operation, an instance may be cited of its failure. The object of war is a better state of peace, even if only from your point of view. Hence it is essential to conduct war with constant regard to the peace you desire. In war, one does not win ; another loses by giving in. Sometimes in war, it is necessary to limit one's objectives and not eliminate other essential national actors ( ie countries ) so that one may ally with them in future."
- Handel, "War, Strategy & Intelligence" "The political object is the goal, war is the means of reaching it, and the means can never be considered in isolation from their purposes."
- Karl von Clausewitz "On War" "To wage a war for a purely moral reason is as absurd as to ravish a woman for a purely moral reason."
- H.L. Mencken "A prisoner of war is a man who tries to kill you and fails, and then asks you not to kill him."
- Winston Churchill "Every principle of freedom ceases to be valid at the point when its operation would be suicidal."
- Seabury, "War: Ends & Means" "For all soldiers: Remember your equipment was made by the lowest bidder."
- Alan Birkbeck "Never share a trench with anyone braver than yourself."
- Alan Birkbeck "Therefore it is unnecessary for a prince to have all the good qualities I have enumerated, but it is very necessary to appear to have them." >BR>- Niccolo Machiavelli "Power is not only what you have but what the enemy thinks you have."
- Saul Alinsky "The proper means of increasing the love we bear our native country is to reside some time in a foreign one."
-William Shenstone "Something that happened to me a few years ago reflects some of this. It was back in 1981, and I was attending my first big economic summit, which was held that year in Canada. The meeting place rotates among the member countries. The opening meeting was a formal dinner for the heads of government of the seven industrialized nations. Now, I sat there like the new kid in school and listened, and it was all Francois this and Helmut that. They dropped titles and spoke to one another on a first-name basis. Well, at one point I sort of leaned in and said, "My name's Ron." Well, in that same year, we began the actions we felt would ignite an economic comeback--cut taxes and regulation, started to cut spending. And soon the recovery began. Two years later another economic summit, with pretty much the same cast. At the big opening meeting we all got together, and all of a sudden, just for a moment, I saw that everyone was just sitting there looking at me. And one of them broke the silence. 'Tell us about the American miracle,' he said
- Ronald Reagan "Ten thousand officers and men named Smith died in the First World War. One thousand four hundred Campbells died, six thousand Joneses, and one thousand Murphys. Smith, Campbell, Jones and Murphy: the names of the United Kingdom, whose presence in regiments from all four countries speaks of the ebb and flow of peoples within these islands, of a common sacrifice, and a shared agony that burned in so many million hearts down the decades."
- Kevin Myers, "The Daily Telegraph" "Patriotism means unqualified and unwavering love for the nation, which implies not uncritical eagerness to serve, not support for unjust claims, but frank assessment of its vices and sins, and penitence for them.
-Alexander Solzhenitsyn, "From Under the Rubble" "The noblest fate that a man can endure is to place his own mortal body between his loved home and the war's desolation."
-Robert A. Heinlein, "Starship Troopers" In wartime, the degree of patriotism is directly proportional to distance from the front
-Phillip Caputo "Anyone who clings to the historically untrue - and thoroughly immoral - doctrine 'that violence never settles anything' I would advise to conjure up the ghosts of Napoleon Bonaparte and of the Duke of Wellington and let them debate it. The ghost of Hitler could referee, and the jury might well be the Dodo, the Great Auk and the Passenger Pigeon. Violence, naked force, has settled more issues in history than has any other factor, and the contrary opinion is wishful thinking at its worst. Breeds that forget this basic truth have always paid for it with their lives and freedom."
- Robert A. Heinlein, "Starship Troopers" "Now the trumpet summons us again: not as a call to bear arms, though arms we need; not as a call to battle, though in battle we are; but as a call to bear the burdens of a long, twilight struggle - year in and year out, rejoicing in hope, patient in tribulation, a struggle against the common enemies of man - tyranny, poverty, disease, and war itself."
- John Fitzgerald Kennedy "D-Day represents the greatest achievement of the American people and system in the 20th century."
- Stephen Ambrose "I have sworn upon the altar of God eternal hostility against every form of tyranny over the mind of man."
-Thomas Jefferson "We cannot guarantee victory, but only deserve it."
- Winston Churchill "All great civilisations, in their early stages, are based on success in war."
- Kenneth Clark, "Civilization" "As far as we can look back into history, the downfall of any nation can be traced from the moment that nation became timid about spending its best blood."
- Frederick Russell Burnham "I am more afraid of an army of a hundred sheep led by a lion than an army of a hundred lions led by a sheep."
- Marshall Talleyrand of France (1754-1838) "The Ryukyu Islands (Okinawa) were conquered and united into one kingdom. To insure his rule, the king confiscated and banned possession of weapons by people other than his troops. A second ban on weapons was instituted by Japanese conquerors approximately 200 years later. These two incidents are generally credited as the cause for the intense development of the empty handed fighting techniques..."
- Special Forces (USA) manual ST 31-204 "It is the soldier, not the reporter Who has given us freedom of the PRESS.
It is the soldier, not the poet, Who has given us freedom of SPEECH.
It is the soldier, not the campus ORGANIZER, Who has given us the freedom to DEMONSTRATE.
It is the soldier, not the lawyer, Who has given us the right to a FAIR TRIAL.
It is the soldier who salutes the flag, Serves under the flag And whose coffin is draped by the flag, Who gives the protester the right to burn the flag.
-Father D. E. O'Brien "It is a bad world, an incredibly bad world. But I have discovered in the midst of it a quiet and holy people who have learned a great secret. They have found a joy that is a thousand times better than any pleasure of our sinful life. They are despised and persecuted, but they care not. They are masters of their souls. They have overcome the world. These people are the Christians-and I am one of them."
Saint Cyprian (200-258). "How strangely will the Tools of a Tyrant pervert the plain Meaning of Words!"
- Samuel Adams (1722-1803), letter to John Pitts, January 21, 1776
"And whereas the greater part of the said tribe have been baptized and received into the Catholic Church, to which they are much attached, the United States will give annually, for seven years, one hundred dollars toward the support of a priest of that religion, who will engage to perform for said tribe the duties of his office, and also instruct as many of their children as possible, in the rudiments of literature."
- Thomas Jefferson, December 3, 1803, asking Congress to ratify a treaty with the Kaskaskia Indians. The treaty also allocated $300 to the building of a church. "To complain that a free economy favors the rich is like complaining that free speech favors the eloquent."
- Joseph Sobran Calvin and Hobbes Quotes: That's the difference between me and the rest of the world! Happiness isn't good enough for me! I demand euphoria! -- Calvin The purpose of writing is to inflate weak ideas, obscure pure reasoning, and inhibit clarity. With a little practice, writing can be an intimidating and impenetrable fog! -- Calvin Calvin: I'm a genius, but I'm a misunderstood genius.
Hobbes: What's misunderstood about you?
Calvin: Nobody thinks I'm a genius. Well, it just seemed wrong to cheat on an ethics test. -- Calvin Calvin: Can you make a living playing silly games?
Calvin's Dad: Actually, you can be among the most overpaid people on the planet. If you do the job badly enough, sometimes you don't get asked to do it again. -- Calvin The only skills I have the patience to learn are those that have no real application in life. -- Calvin Some people are pragmatists, taking things as they come and making the best of the choices available. Some people are idealists, standing for principle and refusing to compromise. And some people just act on any whim that enters their heads. I pragmatically turn my whims into principles! -- Calvin Sometimes I think the surest sign that intelligent life exists elsewhere in the universe is that none of it has tried to contact us. -- Calvin It seems like once people grow up, they have no idea what's cool. -- Calvin The real fun of living wisely is that you get to be smug about it. -- Calvin Calvin: Know what I pray for?
Hobbes: What?
Calvin: The strength to change what I can, the inability to accept what I can't, and the incapacity to tell the difference. I say, if your knees aren't green by the end of the day, you ought to seriously re-examine your life. -- Calvin It's psychosomatic. You need a lobotomy. I'll get a saw. -- Calvin Why waste time learning, when ignorance is instantaneous? -- Calvin Hobbes: What would you call the creation of the universe?
Calvin: The Horrendous Space Kablooie! If something is so complicated that you can't explain it in 10 seconds, then it's probably not worth knowing anyway. -- Calvin Who wouldn't be interested in everything we do?! -- Calvin I think we dream so we don't have to be apart so long. If we're in each other's dreams, we can play together all night. -- Calvin This one's tricky. You have to use imaginary numbers, like eleventeen ... -- Hobbes From now on, I'll connect the dots my own way. -- Calvin I'm learning real skills that I can apply throughout the rest of my life ... Procrastinating and rationalizing. -- Calvin Reality continues to ruin my life. -- Calvin Calvin: Sometimes when I'm talking, my words can't keep up with my thoughts. I wonder why we think faster than we speak.
Hobbes: Probably so we can think twice. I liked things better when I didn't understand them. -- Calvin Is it a right to remain ignorant? -- Calvin I think nighttime is dark so you can imagine your fears with less distraction. -- Calvin Miss Wormwood: What state do you live in? Calvin: Denial. Miss Wormwood: I don't suppose I can argue with that... What's the point of wearing your favorite rocketship underpants if nobody ever asks to see 'em? -- Calvin My life needs a rewind/erase button. -- Calvin Weekends don't count unless you spend them doing something completely pointless. -- Calvin You know, Hobbes, some days even my lucky rocketship underpants don't help. -- Calvin I imagine bugs and girls have a dim perception that nature played a cruel trick on them, but they lack the intelligence to really comprehend the magnitude of it. -- Calvin Susie: You'd get a good grade without doing any work.
Calvin: So?
Susie: It's wrong to get rewards you haven't earned.
Calvin: I've never heard of anyone who couldn't live with that. If you couldn't find any weirdness, maybe we'll just have to make some! -- Calvin I don't need to compromise my principles, because they don't have the slightest bearing on what happens to me anyway. -- Calvin As usual, goodness hardly puts up a fight. -- Calvin If we don't all watch the same TV, what will keep our culture homogeneous? -- Calvin My behaviour is addictive functioning in a disease process of toxic co-dependency. I need holistic healing and wellness before I'll accept any responsibility for my actions. -- Calvin My family is dysfunctional and my parents won't empower me. Consequently I'm not self actualized. -- Calvin Why do we drink cow's milk? Who was the first guy who first looked at a cow and said "I think I'll drink whatever comes out of these things when I squeeze 'em!"? -- Calvin Hobbes : What if the public doesn't like your work?
Calvin : They are not supposed to like it. This is avant-garde stuff! I'm criticizing the low brows who can't appreciate great art like this! I don't need to compromise my principles, because they don't have the slightest bearing on what happens to me anyway. -- Calvin Thank you. before I begin, I'd like everyone to notice that my report is in a professional, clear plastic binder...When a report looks this good, you know it'll get an 'A.' That's a tip kids. Write it down. -- Calvin Calvin : I think we have got enough information now, don't you?
Hobbes : All we have is one "fact" that you made up.
Calvin : That's plenty. By the time we add an introduction, a few illustrations and a conclusion, it'll look like a graduate thesis. If you want to stay dad you've got to polish your image. I think the image we need to create for you is "repentant but learning". -- Calvin "Dad buried in landslide! Jubilant throngs fill streets! Stunned father inconsolable - demands recount!" -- Calvin Often it takes some calamity to make us live in the present. Then suddenly we wake up and see all the mistakes we have made. But it is too late to change anything. -- Calvin Sometimes it seems things go by too quickly. We are so busy watching out for what's just ahead of us that we don't take the time to enjoy where we are. -- Calvin Hobbes : Shouldn't we read the instructions?
Calvin : Do I look like a sissy? You know what we need, Hobbes? We need an attitude. Yeah, you can't be cool if you don't have an attitude. -- Calvin Sometimes one should just look at things and think about things without doing things. -- Calvin It must be awful to be a girl. I'm sure it's frustrating knowing that men are bigger, stronger and better at abstract thought than women. Really, if you are a girl, what would make you go on living? --Calvin, Dictator-For-Life, of GROSS (Get Rid Of Slimy girlS) There's never enough time to do all the nothing you want. -- Calvin Golly, I'd hate to have a kid like me! -- Calvin This is so cool I've to go to the bathroom. -- Calvin I imagine girls and bugs have a dim perception that nature played a cruel trick on them but they lack the intelligence to really comprehend the magnitude of it. -- Calvin Dad are you vicariously living through me in the hope that my accomplishments will validate your mediocre life and in some way compensate for all the opportunities you botched ? -- Calvin If you care, you just get disappointed all the time. If you don't care nothing matters so you are never upset. -- Calvin Life is full of surprises but never when you need one. -- Calvin I'm killing time while I wait for life to shower me with meaning and happiness. -- Calvin "The dynamics of inter-being and mono logical imperatives in Dick and Jane : A study in psychic transrelational gender modes". Academia, here I come. -- Calvin Miss Wormwood : Calvin where was the Byzantine empire?
Calvin : I'll take "outer planets" for $100. How many boards would the Mongols hoard if the Mongol hordes got bored? -- Calvin I thrive on change... I thrive on making other people change. -- Calvin Be careful or be road-kill. -- Calvin A good compromise leaves everyone mad. -- Calvin Given that sooner or later we're all just going to die, what's the point of learning about integers? -- Calvin Miss Wormwood, could we arrange our seats in a little circle and have a little discussion? Specifically, I'd like to debate whether cannibalism ought to be grounds for leniency in murders since it is less wasteful. -- Calvin The only skills I have patience to learn are those that have no real application in life. -- Calvin "You don't get to be mom if you can't fix everything just right." -Calvin "If people could put rainbows in zoos, they'd do it." -Hobbes "Summer is butter on your chin and corn mush between every tooth." -Calvin "If we wanted more leisure, we'd invent machines that do things less efficiently." -Calvin's dad "To make a bad day worse, spend it wishing for the impossible." -Calvin "If good things lasted forever, would we appreciate how precious they are?" -Hobbes "I suppose the secret to happiness is learning to appreciate the moment." -Calvin "Weekends don't count unless you spend them doing something completely pointless." -Calvin "It's hard to be mad at someone who misses you while you're asleep." -Calvin "Oops, I always forget the purpose of competition is to divide people into winners and losers." -Hobbes being sarcastic "Someday I'll write my own philosophy book." -Calvin "Some things don't need the thought people give them." -Hobbes "Mom knows EVERYTHING" -Calvin "I'm a simple man with complex tastes." -Calvin "Endorsing products is the American way of expressing individuality." -Calvin "One of the joys of being a kid is that experiences are new and therefore more intense." -Calvin sniffing mustard "It's great to have a friend who appreciates an earnest discussion of ideas." -Calvin "That's the problem with science. You've got a bunch of empiricists trying to describe things of unimaginable wonder." -Calvin "All this modern technology just makes people try to do everything at once." -Hobbes "I suppose if we couldn't laugh at things that don't make sense, we couldn't react to a lot of life." -Hobbes "I don't understand this! Not a single part of my horoscope came true! ... The paper should print Mom's daily predictions. Those sure come true." -Calvin "I don't know which is worse, ...that everyone has his price, or that the price is always so low." -Calvin "I propose we leave math to the machines and go play outside." --- Calvin It takes an uncommon mind to think of these things. --- Calvin "That's the problem with nature, something's always stinging you or oozing mucous all over you. Let's go and watch TV." --- Calvin As a math atheist, I think I should be excused from this. --- Calvin, to Hobbes This game lends itself to certain abuses. --- Calvin I'm just very selective about the reality I choose to accept. --- Calvin I have plenty of common sense, I just choose to ignore it. --- Calvin I'm looking for something that can deliver a 50-pound payload of snow on a small feminine target. Can you suggest something? Hello...? --- Calvin "My ethicator machine must've had a built-in moral compromise spectral release phantasmatron! I'm a genius!" --- Calvin "Until you stalk and overrun, you can't devour anyone." --- Hobbes "The inside of my head was exploding with fireworks. Fortunately, my last thought turned out the lights when it left." --- Calvin "Mom and dad say I should make my life an example of the principles I believe in. But every time I do, they tell me to stop it." --- Calvin Verbing weirds language. --- Calvin. "Of all the dispositions and habits which lead to political prosperity, religion and morality are indispensable supports. It is impossible to rightly govern the world without God and the Bible."
- George Washington "The highest glory of the American Revolution was this; it connected, in one indissoluble bond the principles of civil government with the principles of Christianity."
- John Quincy Adams "It cannot be emphasized too strongly or too often that this great nation was founded, not by religionists, but by Christians; not on religions, but on the gospel of Jesus Christ! For this very reason peoples of other faiths have been afforded asylum, prosperity, and freedom of worship here."
- Patrick Henry "We have staked the future of all of our political institutions upon the capacity of mankind for self-government, upon the capacity of each and all of us to govern ourselves, to control ourselves, to sustain ourselves according to the Ten Commandments of God."
- James Madison "The moral principles and precepts contained in the Scripture ought to form the basis of all our civil constitutions and laws. All the miseries and evil men suffer from vice, crime, ambition, injustice, oppression, slavery, and war, proceed from their despising or neglecting the precepts contained in the Bible."
- Noah Webster "Providence has given our people the choice of their rulers, and it is the duty, as well as privilege and interest, of a Christian nation to select and prefer Christians for their rulers."
- John Jay, first Chief Justice of the U.S. Supreme Court "A Bible and a newspaper in every house, a good school in every district--all studied and appreciated as they merit--are the principle support of virtue, morality, and civil liberty."
- Benjamin Franklin; March 1778 "We have no government armed with power capable of contending with human passions unbridled by morality and religion. Avarice, ambition, revenge, or gallantry, would break the strongest cords of our Constitution as a whale goes through a net. Our Constitution was made only for a moral and religious people. It is wholly inadequate for the government of any other."
- John Adams, Oct. 11, 1798 "God who gave us life gave us liberty. And can the liberties of a nation be thought secure if we have removed their only firm basis: a conviction in the minds of men that these liberties are the gift of God? That they are not to be violated but with His wrath? Indeed, I tremble for my country when I reflect that God is just; that His justice cannot sleep forever."
- Thomas Jefferson "We have staked the future of all of our political institutions upon the capacity of mankind for self-government, upon the capacity of each and all of us to govern ourselves, to control ourselves, to sustain ourselves according to the Ten Commandments of God."
- James Madison "Those people who will not be governed by God will be ruled by tyrants."
- William Penn "Bad men cannot make good citizens. It is when a people forget God that tyrants forge their chains. A vitiated state of morals, a corrupted public conscience, is incompatible with freedom. No free government, or the blessings of liberty, can be preserved to any people but by a firm adherence to justice, moderation, temperance, frugality, and virtue; and by a frequent recurrence to fundamental principles."
-Patrick Henry "No country upon earth ever had it more in its power to attain blessings. Much to be regretted indeed would it be, were we to depart from the road which Providence has pointed us to, so plainly; I cannot believe it will ever come to pass. The Great Governor of the Universe has led us too long and too far to forsake us in the midst of it. We may, now and then, get bewildered; but I hope and trust that there is good sense and virtue enough left to recover the right path."
- George Washington What was the very first thing Congress did after completing the final wording of the 1st Amendment? A resolution calling for a national day of Prayer:
RESOLVED, That a joint committee of both Houses be directed to wait upon the President of the United States, to request that he would recommend to the people of the United States a day of public thanksgiving and prayer, to be observed by acknowledging, with grateful hearts, that many signal favors of almighty God, especially by affording them the opportunity peaceably to establish a Constitution of government for their safety and happiness.
US Congress, 25 Sep 1789 "Definitely the Kansas City Chiefs. I met, like, 10 of them a few weeks ago. We did some exhibition thing and they were all really fun. I want them to do well."
-- Anna Kournikova, in a Stacey Pressman Page 2 article, on her favorite football team and why she likes them. "It is a form of killing. You're ending a life."
-Ron Fitzsimmons, Executive director of the National Coalition of Abortion Providers "I think we have deluded ourselves into believing that people don't know that abortion is killing."
- Faye Wattleton, former president of Planned Parenthood Democracy is two wolves and a lamb voting on what to have for lunch. Liberty is a well-armed lamb contesting the vote.
--Benjamin Franklin When the people find that they can vote themselves money, that will herald the end of the republic.
--Benjamin Franklin One of the quirkier things about non-Christian critics of Christianity is how they will take a verse or two from the Bible, build an uninformed interpretation around it, and then completely disregard every other verse that makes it clear that the interpretation is hopelessly incorrect.
--Vox Day They that can give up essential liberty to obtain a little temporary safety deserve neither safety nor liberty .
--Benjamin Franklin Where liberty dwells, there is my country .
--Benjamin Franklin God grant that not only the love of liberty but a thorough knowledge of the rights of man may pervade all the nations of the earth, so that a philosopher may set his foot anywhere on its surface and say: This is my country. .
--Benjamin Franklin If you would not be forgotten
As soon as you are dead and rotten,
Either write things worthy reading,
Or do things worth the writing.
--Benjamin Franklin Never confuse motion with action.
--Benjamin Franklin This will be the best security for maintaining our liberties. A nation of well-informed men who have been taught to know and prize the rights which God has given them cannot be enslaved. It is in the religion of ignorance that tyranny begins.
--Benjamin Franklin Any fool can criticize, condemn and complain and most fools do.
--Benjamin Franklin To find out a girl’s faults, praise her to her girl friends.
--Benjamin Franklin Freedom is not a gift bestowed upon us by other men, but a right that belongs to us by the laws of God and nature.
--Benjamin Franklin Only a virtuous people are capable of freedom. As nations become more corrupt and vicious, they have more need of masters.
--Benjamin Franklin Rebellion to tyrants is obedience to God.
--Benjamin Franklin The Constitution only gives people the right to pursue happiness. You have to catch it yourself.
--Benjamin Franklin He’s a fool who cannot conceal his wisdom.
--Benjamin Franklin What is the use of a new-born child? (When asked the use of a new invention)
--Benjamin Franklin ...a frequent recurrence to fundamental principles...is absolutely necessary to preserve the blessings of liberty and keep a government free.
--Benjamin Franklin You cannot strengthen the weak by weakening the strong,
You cannot help small men by tearing down big men,
You cannot help the poor by destroying the rich,
You cannot lift the wage earner
by pulling down the wage payer,
You cannot keep out of trouble
by spending more than your income,
You cannot further the brotherhood of man
by inciting class hatreds,
You cannot establish security on borrowed money,
You cannot build character and courage
by taking away a man's initiative and independence,
You cannot help men permanently by doing for them
what they could and should do for themselves.
-Abraham Lincoln "History is a vast early warning system."
-Norman Cousins "Hard work spotlights the character of people: some turn up their sleeves, some turn up their noses, and some don't turn up at all."
-Sam Ewig "One of the penalties for refusing to participate in politics is that you end up being governed by your inferiors."
-Plato "A democracy cannot exist as a permanent form of government. It can only exist until a majority of voters discover that they can vote themselves largess out of the public treasury."
-Alexander Tytler "The politicians don't just want your money. They want your soul. They want you to be worn down by taxes until you are dependent and helpless. When you subsidize poverty and failure, you get more of both."
-James Dale Davidson "There is nothing more frightful than ignorance in action."
-Johann von Goethe "The whole aim of practical politics is to keep the populace alarmed (and hence clamorous to be led to safety) by menacing it with an endless series of hobgoblins, all of them imaginary."
-H. L. Mencken "My formula for success is rise early, work late, and strike oil."
-- J. Paul Getty "A bank is a place where they lend you an umbrella in fair weather and ask for it back when it begins to rain."
- Adlai Stevenson (1900-1965) "A leader in the Democratic Party is a boss, in the Republican Party he is a leader."
- Harry S. Truman "At the core of modern liberalism is the spoiled child - miserable, as all spoiled children are, unsatisfied, demanding, ill-disciplined, despotic and useless. Liberalism is a philosophy of sniveling brats."
--P.J. O'Rourke "Government is like a baby. An alimentary canal with a big appetite at one end and no sense of responsibility at the other."
--Ronald Reagan "When I was young, I said to God, 'God, tell me the mystery of the universe.' But God answered, 'that knowledge is for me alone.' So I said, 'God, tell me the mystery of the peanut.' Then God said, 'Well, George, that's more nearly your size.'"
--George Washington Carver "An infallible method of conciliating a tiger is to allow oneself to be devoured."
--Konrad Adenauer "Success has nothing to do with what you gain in life or accomplish for yourself. It's what you do for others."
--Danny Thomas "Writing is a socially acceptable form of schizophrenia."
--E. L. Doctorow "Every man, either to his terror or consolation, has some sense of religion."
--James Harrington "Courage is the fear of being thought a coward."
--Horace Smith "I have noticed even people who claim everything is predestined, and that we can do nothing to change it, look before they cross the road."
--Stephen Hawking "Through clever and constant application of propaganda, people can be made to see paradise as hell, and also the other way around, to consider the most wretched sort of life as paradise."
- Adolf Hitler "Mein Kampf" "A liberal is a man too broadminded to take his own side in a quarrel."
- Robert Frost "A lie gets halfway around the world before the truth has a chance to get its pants on."
- Winston Churchill "A pessimist sees the difficulty in every opportunity; an optimist sees the opportunity in every difficulty."
- Winston Churchill "All women become like their mothers. That is their tragedy. No man does. That is his."
- Oscar Wilde "Always do right; this will gratify some people and astonish the rest."
- Mark Twain "An expert is a man who has stopped thinking - he knows!"
- Frank Lloyd Wright "Any fool can criticize, condemn, and complain -- and most fools do."
- Dale Carnegie "Any intelligent fool can make things bigger, more complex, and more violent. It takes a touch of genius -- and a lot of courage -- to move in the opposite direction."
- Albert Einstein "Anyone who can walk to the welfare office can walk to work."
- Al Capp "Avoid having your ego so close to your position that when your position falls, your ego goes with it."
- Colin Powell "The warning message we sent the Russians was a calculated ambiguity that would be clearly understood."
- Alexander Haig "Avant-garde music is sort of research music. You're glad someone's done it but you don't necessarily want to listen to it."
--Brian Eno "A man sits with a pretty girl for an hour and it seems shorter than a minute. But tell that same man to sit on a hot stove for a minute, it is longer than any hour. That's relativity."
- Albert Einstein "A man can't be too careful in the choice of his enemies."
- Oscar Wilde "A man's feet should be planted in his country, but his eyes should survey the world."
- George Santayana "A people that values its privileges above its principles soon loses both."
- Dwight D. Eisenhower "You can't find any true closeness in Hollywood, because everybody does the fake closeness so well."
- Carrie Fisher “Nothing is more dangerous in wartime than to live in the temperamental atmosphere of a Gallop poll, always feeling one's pulse and taking ones temperature...”
-Winston Churchill Report on the war, House of commons sept, 30 1941 "Before God we are all equally wise - and equally foolish."
-Albert Einstein "Education is what remains after one has forgotten everything he learned in school.
-Albert Einstein "Great spirits have always found violent opposition from mediocrities. The latter cannot understand it when a man does not thoughtlessly submit to hereditary prejudices but honestly and courageously uses his intelligence."
-Albert Einstein "I want to know God's thoughts. The rest are details."
-Albert Einstein "If I have seen farther than others, it is because I was standing on the shoulders of giants."
-Albert Einstein "If we knew what we were doing, it wouldn't be called research, would it? "
-Albert Einstein "Imagination is more important than knowledge. "
-Albert Einstein "In the middle of difficulty lies opportunity. "
-Albert Einstein "It is a miracle that curiosity survives formal education. "
-Albert Einstein "Not everything that can be counted counts, and not everything that counts can be counted. "
-Albert Einstein "Nothing will benefit human health and increase the chances for survival of life on Earth as much as the evolution to a vegetarian diet. "
-Albert Einstein "The hardest thing in the world to understand is the income tax."
-Albert Einstein "The release of atomic energy has not created a new problem. It has merely made more urgent the necessity of solving an existing one."
-Albert Einstein "There are only two ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle."
-Albert Einstein "We can't solve problems by using the same kind of thinking we used when we created them."
-Albert Einstein George Washington's 1789 Thanksgiving Proclamation:
Whereas it is the duty of all nations to acknowledge the providence of Almighty God, to obey His will, to be grateful for His benefits, and humbly to implore His protection and favor; and Whereas both Houses of Congress have, by their joint committee, requested me "to recommend to the people of the United States a day of public thanksgiving and prayer, to be observed by acknowledging with grateful hearts the many and signal favors of Almighty God, especially by affording them an opportunity peaceably to establish a form of government for their safety and happiness:" Now, therefore, I do recommend and assign Thursday, the 26th day of November next, to be devoted by the people of these States to the service of that great and glorious Being who is the beneficent author of all the good that was, that is, or that will be; that we may then all unite in rendering unto Him our sincere and humble thanks for His kind care and protection of the people of this country previous to their becoming a nation; for the signal and manifold mercies and the favorable interpositions of His providence in the course and conclusion of the late war; for the great degree of tranquility, union, and plenty which we have since enjoyed; for the peaceable and rational manner in which we have been enable to establish constitutions of government for our safety and happiness, and particularly the national one now lately instituted' for the civil and religious liberty with which we are blessed, and the means we have of acquiring and diffusing useful knowledge; and, in general, for all the great and various favors which He has been pleased to confer upon us. And also that we may then unite in most humbly offering our prayers and supplications to the great Lord and Ruler of Nations and beseech Him to pardon our national and other transgressions; to enable us all, whether in public or private stations, to perform our several and relative duties properly and punctually; to render our National Government a blessing to all the people by constantly being a Government of wise, just, and constitutional laws, discreetly and faithfully executed and obeyed; to protect and guide all sovereigns and nations (especially such as have show kindness to us), and to bless them with good governments, peace, and concord; to promote the knowledge and practice of true religion and virtue, and the increase of science among them and us; and, generally to grant unto all mankind such a degree of temporal prosperity as He alone knows to be best. Given under my hand, at the city of New York, the 3d dy of October, A.D. 1789.
(signed) G. Washington "The Romans make a desert and call it peace,"
- Galgacus, a Caledonian chieftain, in a speech to his army before meeting the Romans in battle in 86 AD. "History will be kind to me for I intend to write it."
- Winston Churchill "The 7 Modern Sins: Politics without principles, Pleasures without conscience, Wealth without work, Knowledge without character, Industry without morality, Science without humanity, Worship without sacrifice."
- Canon Frederic Donaldson "It is necessary for us to learn from others' mistakes. You will not live long enough to make them all yourself."
- Admiral Hyman G. Rickover "The man with a toothache thinks everyone happy whose teeth are sound. The poverty-stricken man makes the same mistake about the rich man."
- George Bernard Shaw "The probability that we may fail in the struggle ought not to deter us from the support of a cause we believe to be just."
- Abraham Lincoln "The real heretic is not the atheist or agnostic (who are often decent people) but those who murmur "it doesn't matter what you believe, as long as it makes you feel good." This turns religion into a subjective matter, like taste in furnishings, and robs theology of its claim to ultimate truth."
- Sydney J. Harris "An atheist's most embarrassing moment is when he feels profoundly thankful for something, but can't think of anybody to thank for it."
- Mary Ann Vincent. "A pint of sweat, saves a gallon of blood."
- General George S. Patton "A determined soul will do more with a rusty monkey wrench than a loafer will accomplish with all the tools in a machine shop."
- Robert Hughes "In a free society, every opportunity comes with three obligations. First, you must seize it. You must mold it into a work that brings value to others. Second, you must live it. Opportunity is nurtured only by action. Third, you must defend the freedom to pursue opportunities. You must embrace these three obligations as if the future of the United States depended on it. In fact, it does."
- Robert C. Goizueta "Never tell people how to do things. Tell them what to do and they will surprise you with their ingenuity."
-General George S. Patton "Although at the moment they may be equal in their lack of a real answer, the man who replies "I'll find out," is much more valuable to his employer, his neighbor, and to himself than the man who replies "l don't know."
- Anonymous "Don't expect to build up the weak by pulling down the strong."
- Calvin Coolidge "Our real problem, then, is not our strength today; it is rather the vital necessity of action today to ensure our strength tomorrow."
- Dwight D. Eisenhower "Where there is no shame, there is no honor."
- African Proverb "In matters of style swim with the current; In matters of principle, stand like a rock."
- Thomas Jefferson "Liberals always feel your pain. Unless of course, they caused it."
- Dennis Miller "And I know your next move, I watch you so much, 'There's been no proven link between the secular state of Iraq and al-Qaeda!' Come on. They both think we're Satan. Isn't that a nice starting point? Why are you so loathe to believe they might have each other on lunatic speed dial?"
- Dennis Miller on Hannity & Colmes. "I'm not a politician," She says evenly. "If I want to be one, I'll run for office. Susan Sarandon, whom I know and love, is a fantastic actress. It's her right as an American to say whatever she wants. [But] just because you're rich and famous doesn't qualify you to make political statements. I don't put my opinions out there to influence people. You have alot of influence. And sometimes I feel it's undeserved influence."
-Reese Witherspoon "Here the country had finally given liberals a war against fundamentalism and they don't want to fight it. They would have, except it would put them on the same side as the United States."
-Ann Coulter "Even Islamic terrorists don't hate America like liberals do. They don't have the energy. If they had that much energy, they'd have indoor plumbing by now."
- Ann Coulter "Political Correctness, what does it mean? It means that telling us what to think has evolved into telling us what to say, so telling us what to do can’t be far behind. Before you claim to be a champion of free thought, tell me: Why did political correctness originate on American campuses? And why do you continue to tolerate it? Why do you, who’re supposed to debate ideas, surrender to suppression? Lets be honest who thinks professors can say what they really believe? It scares me to death, and should scare you too, that the superstition of political correctness rules the halls of reason."
- Charlton Heston; speech at Harvard Law School "The modern definition of the word “Hate and Racist” is someone who is winning an argument with a liberal."
- Unknown "Republicans believe that every day is the fourth of July, but Democrats believe every day is April 15."
- Ronald Reagan "The nine most terrifying words in the English language are “I’m from the government and I’m here to help.”
- Ronald Reagan "A government that robs Peter to pay Paul can always count on the support of Paul."
- George Bernard Shaw "America is no longer the melting pot it used to be. It has now become a tossed salad of foreigners that arrive to our shores wanting to keep their culture and forcing our acceptance."
- Jay Severin "Ronald Reagan has a story for every occasion. Bill Clinton has an excuse for every occasion."
- Fred Barnes "Men who have offered their lives for their country know that patriotism is not the fear of something, it is the love of something."
- Adlai Stevenson
"The Führer is deeply religious, though completely anti-Christian; he views Christianity as a symptom of decay. Rightly so. It is a branch of the Jewish race."
—Joseph Goebbels, in his diary, December 28, 1939. "Christianity is the prototype of Bolshevism: the mobilisation by the Jew of the masses of slaves with the object of undermining society."
— Adolf Hitler 1941 "The German people, especially the youth, have learned once again to value people racially-they have once again turned away from Christian theories, from Christian teaching which has ruled Germany for more than a thousand years and caused the racial decay of the German Volk, and almost its racial death."
—Heinrich Himmler May 22, 1936 at a speech in Brocken, Germany. "Listening to Democrats complain about inflation is like listening to germs complain about disease."
Spiro Agnew "If you are going to achieve excellence in big things, you develop the habit in little matters. Excellence is not an exception, it is a prevailing attitude."
- Colin Powell "Tomorrow is the most important thing in life. Comes into us at midnight very clean. It’s perfect when it arrives and it puts itself on our hands. It hopes we’ve learned something from yesterday."
- John Wayne "Success is not final, Failure is not fatal: it is the courage to continue that counts."
-Winston Churchill "The harder I work, the more luck I seem to have."
- Thomas Jefferson "We didn’t lose the game; we just ran out of time"
- Vince Lombardi "Political Correctness is just Tyranny with manners."
- Charlton Heston “President Clinton Boasts about 186,000 people denied firearms under the Brady law rules. The Brady law has been in force for three years. In that time, they have prosecuted seven people and put three of them in prison. You Know, the President has entertained more felons than that at fundraising coffees in the White House, for Pete’s sake…”
- Charlton Heston “When you see all the rhetorical smoke billowing up from the Democrats, well ladies and gentleman, I’d follow the example of their nominee; Bill Clinton don’t inhale"
- Ronald Reagan (1992 GOP convention) “The governments view of the economy can be summed up in a few short phrases: If it moves ,tax it. If it keeps on moving, regulate it. If it stops moving, subsidize it.”
-Ronald Reagan “The Beauty of the second amendment is that it will not be needed until they try and take it.”
-Thomas Jefferson “Americans have the right and advantage of being armed – unlike the citizens of other countries whose governments are afraid to trust the people with arms.”
- James Madison, The Federalist Papers No. 46 243-244 “Giving government money and power is like giving car keys and whiskey to a teenage boy.”
-P.J. O’Rourke “Please do not feed the squirrels. If you feed the squirrels, they’ll become overweight, and prone to disease. Their population will grow, and they’ll lose their ability to forage for food on their own. They will expect you to feed them and will attack you if you don’t. They’ll become like little welfare recipients, and you wouldn’t want to do this to them.”
- Sign reported by Clifford F. Thies in Rocky Mountain National Park "Welcome to the Politically Correct States of America. Please turn your mind in to the nearest oppressed minority pressure group. It will be returned to you once we’ve decided what you can think."
- Unknown “The unemployment numbers are down to the lowest in 25 years…. The principle credit goes to Janet Reno, who continued to appoint special prosecutors.”
- Dick Armey "Action may not always bring happiness; but there is no happiness without action."
- Benjamin Disraeli "The difference between a politician and a statesman is: a politician thinks of the next election and the statesman thinks of the next generation."
- James Freeman Clarke "Communism is like prohibition. It’s a nice idea, but it won’t work."
- Will Rogers "A man who thinks of himself as belonging to a particular national group in America has not yet become an American."
- Woodrow Wilson "There are no friends at cards or world politics."
- Finley Peter Dunne "Only if they’re coming to endorse my opponent."
- Don Johnson, Democrat from Tennessee when asked if he wanted the Clintons to campaign for him. "Democrats have an answer to the unemployment problem. They’re all running for the Presidency."
- Bob Hope 1988 "So much of left-wing thought is a kind of playing with fire by people who don’t even know that fire is hot."
- George Orwell "Politics is the art of looking for trouble, finding it everywhere, diagnosing it incorrectly, and applying the wrong remedies."
Groucho Marks "The radical of one century is the conservative of the next."
- Mark Twain "Everyone can recognize history when it happens. Everyone can recognize history after it has happened; but it is only the wise man who knows at the moment what is vital and permanent, what is lasting and memorable."
-Winston Churchill "If you pick up a starving dog, and feed him and make him well, he will not bite you. This is the principal difference between a dog and a man."
- Mark Twain "Pouring ketchup/From the bottle/None'll come/And then a lot'll."
- Ogden Nash "You probably should cut that pizza into only four slices. I don't think I'm hungry enough to eat six."
-Yogi Berra "I've had a very nice evening, but this wasn't it."
-Groucho' Marx "Go on thinking that you don't need to be read and you'll find that it may become quite true: no one will feel the need to read it because it is written for yourself alone; and the public won't feel any impulse to gate crash such a private party."
--- Dylan Thomas "Don't be too harsh to these poems until they're typed. I always think typescript lends some sort of certainty: at least, if the things are bad then, they appear to be bad with conviction."
--- Dylan Thomas "He who seeks rest finds boredom. He who seeks work finds rest."
--- Dylan Thomas "I know we're not saints or virgins or lunatics; we know all the lust and lavatory jokes, and most of the dirty people; we can catch buses and count our change and cross the roads and talk real sentences. But our innocence goes awfully deep, and our discreditable secret is that we don't know anything at all, and our horrid inner secret is that we don't care that we don't."
--- Dylan Thomas "Whatever talents I possess may suddenly diminish or suddenly increase. I can with ease become an ordinary fool. I may be one now. But it doesn't do to upset one's own vanity."
--- Dylan Thomas "A born writer is born scrofulous; his career is an accident dictated by physical or circumstantial disabilities."
--- Dylan Thomas "I hold a beast, an angel and a madman in me, and my enquiry is as to their working, and my problem is their subjugation and victory, downthrow and upheaval, and my effort is their self-expression."
--- Dylan Thomas "Man, if you have to ask, you'll never know."
- Louis Armstrong, on the subject of Jazz "I would rather walk a mile barefoot on broken glass than endure a confrontation with homosexual zealots. However, that less painful path cannot be responsibly taken. What choice is there but to stand in opposition to homosexual activists with their in-your face arrogance, their malicious attacks on religion, family values and moral standards, and, in essence, their demand that American society be turned upside down and inside out to accommodate their sexual disorientations? It is unconscionable that homosexual invectives and threats have effectively shut down most attempts to expose bogus research or address the cultural implications of the homosexual agenda. It should be, but apparently is not, a matter of serious concern, even shame, that so many of our politicians, our journalists and commentators, our scientists, our government schools teachers, our university professors and our clergy have either been seduced to advance the homosexual agenda, intimidated into passive assent, or cowed into silence. It is one of the great ironies of modern-day America that it is liberals who are not only enabling but spearheading a vicious version of McCarthyism at its worse. Rarely in the history of our republic has there been such a successful effort to keep lies alive, suppress the truth, censor speech, and engage in blatant character assassination."
-Linda Bowles, Defending Dr. Laura and America, May 31, 2000, TownHall.com "There is nothing so absurd but some philosopher has said it."
- Cicero "War is at best barbarism...Its glory is all moonshine. It is only those who have neither fired a shot nor heard the shrieks and groans of the wounded who cry aloud for more blood, more vengeance, more desolation. War is hell"
- William T. Sherman "Always bear in mind that your own resolution to succeed is more important than any other."
-Abraham Lincoln "America will never be destroyed from the outside. If we falter, and lose our freedoms, it will be because we destroyed ourselves."
-Abraham Lincoln "Give me six hours to chop down a tree and I will spend the first four sharpening the axe."
-Abraham Lincoln "If this is coffee, please bring me some tea; but if this is tea, please bring me some coffee."
-Abraham Lincoln "It has been my experience that folks who have no vices have very few virtues."
-Abraham Lincoln "It is better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to open one's mouth and remove all doubt."
-Abraham Lincoln "The best thing about the future is that it comes one day at a time."
-Abraham Lincoln "The dogmas of the quiet past are inadequate to the stormy present. The occasion is piled high with difficulty, and we must rise with the occasion. As our case is new, so we must think anew, and act anew."
-Abraham Lincoln "We the people are the rightful masters of both Congress and the courts, not to overthrow the Constitution but to overthrow the men who pervert the Constitution."
-Abraham Lincoln "Whatever you are, be a good one."
-Abraham Lincoln "Whenever I hear anyone arguing for slavery, I feel a strong impulse to see it tried on him personally."
-Abraham Lincoln Whatever success I have had in bringing clean, informative entertainment to people of all ages, I attribute in great part to my Congregational upbringing and my lifelong habit of prayer...To retreat from any of the principles handed down by our forefathers, who shed their blood for the ideals we still embrace, would be a complete victory for those who would destroy liberty and justice for the individual.
-Walt Disney “The West will not contain communism; it will transcend communism. We will not bother to denounce it; we’ll dismiss it as a sad, bizarre chapter in human history whose last pages are even now being written.”
— Ronald Reagan Notre Dame University, May 17,1981 “The march of freedom and democracy will leave Marxism-Leninism on the ash heap of history, as it has left other tyrannies which stifle the freedom and muzzle the self-expression of the people.”
-Ronald Reagan Speech to Britain’s Parliament, 1982 “In an ironic sense, Karl Marx was right. We are witnessing today a great revolutionary crisis — a crisis where the demands of the economic order are colliding directly with those of the political order. But the crisis is happening not in the free, non-Marxist West, but in the home of Marxism-Leninism, the Soviet Union.”
- Ronald Reagan June 1982 '“While (Soviet rulers) preach the supremacy of the state, declare its omnipotence over individual man and predict its eventual domination over all the peoples of the Earth, they are the focus of evil in the modern world. I urge you to beware the temptation to ignore the facts of history and the aggressive impulses of any evil empire, to simply call the arms race a giant misunderstanding and thereby remove yourself from the struggle between right and wrong, good and evil.”
-Ronald Reagan Speech to National Association of Evangelicals, March 8, 1983 Because if it didn’t work out, I didn’t want to blow the whole day.
-Paul Hornung, Green Bay Packers running back, when asked why his wedding was held in the morning My mother said to me, “If you are a soldier, you will become a general. If you are a monk, you will become the Pope.” Instead, I was a painter, and became Picasso.
-Pablo Picasso It is fun being in the same decade with you.
-Franklin Roosevelt, in a letter to Winston Churchill No sane man will dance.
-Marcus Tullius Cicero Winners compare their achievements with their goals, while losers compare their achievements with those of other people.
-Nido Qubein To be pleased with one’s limits is a wretched state.
-Johann Wolfgang von Goethe All that is human must retrograde if it does not advance.
-Edward Gibbon Son, looks to me like you’re spending too much time on one subject.
-Shelby Metcalf, Texas A & M basketball coach, to a player who received four F’s and a D In every tyrant’s heart there springs in the end this poison, that he cannot trust a friend.
-Aeschylus Mastery is often taken for egotism.
-Johann Wolfgang von Goethe "There are more sure marks of authenticity in the Bible than in any profane history....I study the Bible daily."
-- Sir Isaac Newton All knowledge is of itself of some value. There is nothing so minute or inconsiderable that I would not rather know it than not.
-Samuel Johnson No snowflake in an avalanche ever feels responsible.
-Voltaire Black holes are where God divided by zero.
-Steven Wright Today I was arrested for scalping low numbers at the deli.
-Steven Wright Daring ideas are like chessmen moved forward; they may be beaten, but they may start a winning game.
-Johann Wolfgang von Goethe Altogether national hatred is something peculiar. You will always find it strongest and most violent where there is the lowest degree of culture.
-Johann Wolfgang von Goethe We will have peace with the Arabs when they love their children more than they hate us.
-Golda Meir It is wiser to find out than suppose.
-Mark Twain We can lick gravity, but the paperwork’s a bit tougher.
-Wernher von Braun Crash programs fail because they are based on the theory that, with nine women pregnant, you can get a baby in a month.
-Wernher von Braun The old believe everything; the middle-aged suspect everything; the young know everything.
-Oscar Wilde Well, then, it’s a good thing we’re not playing in the shade.
-Bobby Jones, golfer, when told it was 108° in the shade A common mistake people make when trying to design something completely foolproof is to underestimate the ingenuity of complete fools.
-Douglas Adams I try. I fail. I try again. I fail better.
-Samuel Beckett A little knowledge that acts is worth infinitely more than much knowledge that is idle.
-Kahlil Gibran No bird soars too high, if he soars with his own wings.
-William Blake We can be knowledgeable with other men’s knowledge but we cannot be wise with other men’s wisdom.
-Michel de Montaigne It’s not so much what folks don’t know that causes problems; it’s what they do know that ain’t so.
-Artemus Ward If my theory of relativity is proven correct, Germany will claim me as a German and France will declare that I am a citizen of the world. Should my theory prove untrue, France will say that I am a German and Germany will declare that I am a Jew.
-Albert Einstein A wise man hears one word and understands two.
-Jewish proverb After all, all he did was string together a lot of old, well-known quotations.
-H.L. Mencken, on Shakespeare “Love” is the condition in which the happiness of another person is essential to your own.
-Robert A. Heinlein (Jubal Harshaw, Stranger in a Strange Land) An idealist is one who, on noticing that roses smell better than a cabbage, concludes that it will also make better soup.
-H.L. Mencken Research is what I’m doing when I don’t know what I’m doing.
-Wernher von Braun Sometimes I think we’re alone in the universe, and sometimes I think we’re not. In either case the idea is quite staggering.
-Arthur C. Clarke The only reason for time is so that everything doesn’t happen at once.
-Albert Einstein Being with a woman all night never hurt no professional baseball player. It’s staying up all night looking for one that does him in.
-Casey Stengel Let thy speech be better than silence, or be silent.
-Dionysus the Elder Courage is the first of human qualities because it is the quality that guarantees all the others.
-Winston Churchill “You had a choice between war and dishonor and chose dishonor and still got war,”
--Winston Churchill to Neville Chamberlain. Courage is resistance to fear, mastery of fear—not absence of fear.
-Mark Twain A human being should be able to change a diaper, plan an invasion, butcher a hog, conn a ship, design a building, write a sonnet, balance accounts, build a wall, set a bone, comfort the dying, take orders, give orders, cooperate, act alone, solve equations, analyze a new problem, pitch manure, program a computer, cook a tasty meal, fight efficiently, die gallantly. Specialization is for insects.
-Robert A. Heinlein When all is said and done, as a rule, more is said than done.
-Lou Holtz You can lead a horticulture, but you can’t make her think.
-Dorothy Parker, when asked to use the word “horticulture” in a sentence You lose.
-Calvin Coolidge, to a newspaper reporter who bet him he could make him say three words Learning isn’t a means to an end; it’s an end in and of itself.
-Robert A. Heinlein I have a quantum car. Every time I look at the speedometer I get lost.
-Steven Wright The difference between the almost right word and the right word is really a large matter—it’s the difference between the lightning bug and the lightning.
-Mark Twain In matters of style, swim with the current;
In matters of principle, stand like a rock.
-Thomas Jefferson History may not repeat itself, but it does rhyme a lot.
-Mark Twain I took a course in speed waiting. Now I can wait an hour in only ten minutes.
-Steven Wright Grief can take care of itself, but to get the full value of a joy you must have somebody to divide it with.
-Mark Twain We should be careful to get out of an experience only the wisdom that is in it—and stop there; lest we be like the cat that sits down on a hot stove-lid. She will never sit down on a hot stove-lid again, and that is well; but also she will never sit down on a cold one anymore.
-Mark Twain Imagination was given to man to compensate him for what he is not; a sense of humor to console him for what he is.
-Francis Bacon I have made this letter longer than usual because I lack the time to make it shorter.
-Blaise Pascal The fool wonders, the wise man asks.
-Benjamin Disraeli To avoid criticism, do nothing, say nothing, be nothing.
-Elbert Hubbard You have enemies? Good. That means you’ve stood up for something, sometime in your life.
-Winston Churchill A designer knows he has achieved perfection not when there is nothing left to add, but when there is nothing left to take away.
-Antoine de Saint-Exupéry If you want to build a ship, don’t drum up people together to collect wood and don’t assign them tasks and work, but rather teach them to long for the endless immensity of the sea.
-Antoine de Saint-Exupéry It is necessary to try to surpass oneself always; this occupation ought to last as long as life.
-Christina, Queen of Sweden When your work speaks for itself, don’t interrupt.
-Henry J. Kaiser It is bad enough that so many people believe things without any evidence. What is worse is that some people have no conception of evidence and regard facts as just someone else’s opinion.
-Thomas Sowell The only way to discover the limits of the possible is to go beyond them into the impossible.
-Arthur C. Clarke No one wants to learn from mistakes, but we cannot learn enough from successes to go beyond the state of the art.
-Henry Petroski The most exciting phrase to hear in science, the one that heralds new discoveries, is not, “Eureka!” (“I found it!”) but rather, “Hmm... that’s funny...”
-Isaac Asimov Discovery consists of seeing what everybody has seen and thinking what nobody has thought.
-Albert Szent-Györgyi Your manuscript is both good and original, but the part that is good is not original and the part that is original is not good.
-Samuel Johnson You ask, What is our policy? I will say; “It is to wage war, by sea, land and air, with all our might and with all the strength that God can give us: to wage war against a monstrous tyranny, never surpassed in the dark lamentable catalogue of human crime. That is our policy.” You ask, What is our aim? I can answer with one word: Victory—victory at all costs, victory in spite of all terror, victory however long and hard the road may be; for without victory there is no survival.
-Winston Churchill We shall not flag or fail. We shall go on to the end. We shall fight in France, we shall fight on the seas and the oceans, we shall fight with growing confidence and growing strength in the air, we shall defend our island, whatever the cost may be. We shall fight on the beaches, we shall fight on the landing grounds, we shall fight in the fields and in the streets, we shall fight in the hills; we shall never surrender.
-Winston Churchill The problems of victory are more agreeable than the problems of defeat, but they are no less difficult.
-Winston Churchill The reason a dog has so many friends is that he wags his tail instead of his tongue.
-Unknown If there are no dogs in Heaven, then when I die I want to go where they went.
-Will Rogers There is no psychiatrist in the world like a puppy licking your face.
-Ben Williams A dog is the only thing on earth that loves you more than he loves himself.
-Josh Billings The average dog is a nicer person than the average person.
-Andy Rooney We give dogs time we can spare, space we can spare and love we can spare. And in return, dogs give us their all. It's the best deal man has ever made.
-M. Acklam Dogs love their friends and bite their enemies, quite unlike people, who are incapable of pure love and always have to mix love and hate.
-Sigmund Freud I wonder if other dogs think poodles are members of a weird religious cult.
-Rita Rudner A dog teaches a boy fidelity, perseverance, and to turn around three times before lying down.
-Robert Benchley Dogs need to sniff the ground; it's how they keep abreast of current events. The ground is a giant dog newspaper, containing all kinds of late-breaking dog news items, which, if they are especially urgent, are often continued in the next yard.
-Dave Barry Anybody who doesn't know what soap tastes like never washed a dog.
-Franklin P. Jones If I have any beliefs about immortality, it is that certain dogs I have known will go to heaven, and very, very few persons.
-James Thurber My dog is worried about the economy because Alpo is up to $3.00 a can. That's almost $21.00 in dog money.
-Joe Weinstein Ever consider what our dogs must think of us? I mean, here we come back from a grocery store with the most amazing haul -- chicken, pork, half a cow. They must think we're the greatest hunters on earth!
-Anne Tyler If you pick up a starving dog and make him prosperous, he will not bite you; that is the principal difference between a dog and a man.
--Mark Twain Dogs are not our whole life, but they make our lives whole.
--Roger Caras If you think dogs can't count, try putting three dog biscuits in your pocket and then giving Fido only two of them.
--Phil Pastoret My goal in life is to be as good of a person my dog already thinks I am.
--Unknown The person who is slowest in making a promise is most faithful in its performance.
-Jean-Jacques Rousseau Don’t be afraid to take a big step when one is indicated. You can’t cross a chasm in two small steps.
-David Lloyd George The quality of a person’s life is in direct proportion to their commitment to excellence, regardless of their chosen field of endeavor.
-Vince Lombardi "There was a time when the worst ... slut ... for want of a better term ... maintained a virginal and chaste facade. Today, the most virginal and chaste undergraduate wants to create a facade of sexual experience."
--Tom Wolfe The difference between a successful person and others is not a lack of strength, not a lack of knowledge, but rather in a lack of will.
-Vince Lombardi How many legs does a dog have if you call the tail a leg?
Four. Calling a tail a leg doesn’t make it a leg.
-Abraham Lincoln I’m no different from anyone else with two arms, two legs, and 4200 hits.
-Pete Rose A fanatic is one who can’t change his mind and won’t change the subject.
-Winston Churchill It’s good sportsmanship to not pick up lost golf balls while they are still rolling.
-Mark Twain Statistics always remind me of the fellow who drowned in a river whose average depth was three feet.
-Woody Hayes, Ohio State football coach Don’t be afraid to give your best to what seemingly are small jobs. Every time you conquer one it makes you that much stronger. If you do the little jobs well, the big ones will tend to take care of themselves.
-Dale Carnegie Be more concerned with your character than with your reputation. Your character is what you really are while your reputation is merely what others think you are.
-Dale Carnegie You can make more friends in two months by becoming interested in other people than you can in two years by trying to get other people interested in you.
-Dale Carnegie I had a better year than he did.
-Babe Ruth, on why President Hoover made less than the $80,000 Ruth was demanding in 1930 Before you can win a game, you have to not lose it.
-Chuck Noll, Pittsburgh Steelers coach There are two kinds of people, those who finish what they start and so on.
-Robert Byrne Act that your principle of action might safely be made a law for the whole
world. -Immanuel Kant Last season we couldn’t win at home and we were losing on the road. My failure as a coach was that I couldn’t think of anyplace else to play.
-Harry Neale, NHL coach I found out that it’s not good to talk about my troubles. Eighty percent of the people who hear them don’t care and the other twenty percent are glad you’re having trouble.
-Tommy Lasorda How do these celebrities stay so impossibly thin? Simple: They have full-time personal trainers, who advise them on nutrition, give them pep talks, and shoot them with tranquilizer darts whenever they try to crawl, on hunger-weakened limbs, toward the packet of rice cakes that constitutes the entire food supply in their 37,000-square-foot mansions. For most celebrities, the biggest meal of the day is toothpaste (they use reduced-fat Crest).
-Dave Barry I do not want people to be agreeable, as it saves me the trouble of liking them.
-Jane Austen The mind is not a vessel to be filled but a fire to be kindled.
-Plutarch It will contribute towards one’s object, who wishes to acquire a facility in the gaining of knowledge, to doubt judiciously.
-Aristotle If a man will begin with certainties, he shall end in doubts; but if he will be content to begin with doubts, he shall end in certainties.
-Francis Bacon The best way to have a good idea is to have lots of ideas.
-Linus Pauling The youth gets together the materials for a bridge to the moon, and at length the middle-aged man decides to make a woodshed with them.
-Henry David Thoreau I used to be a narrator for bad mimes.
-Steven Wright If the brain were so simple we could understand it, we would be so simple we couldn’t.
-Lyall Watson A good walk spoiled.
-Mark Twain, definition of golf Only a mediocre person is always at his best.
-W. Somerset Maugham Great innovators and original thinkers and artists attract the wrath of mediocrities as lightning rods draw the flashes.
-Theodor Reik I hate it when my foot falls asleep during the day ’cause that means it’s gonna be up all night.
-Steven Wright A lot of people are afraid of heights. Not me; I’m afraid of widths.
-Steven Wright The only difference between me and General Custer is that I have to watch the films on Sunday.
-Rick Venturi, Northwestern football coach I broke a mirror in my house, I’m supposed to get seven years of bad luck, but my lawyer thinks he can get me five.
-Steven Wright I don’t know how she did it, but Rachel got poison ivy on her brain. The only way she could scratch it was if she thought about sandpaper.
-Steven Wright I spilled spot remover on my dog, now he’s gone.
-Steven Wright If a woman has to choose between catching a fly ball and saving an infant’s life, she will choose to save the infant’s life without even considering if there are men on base.
-Dave Barry I don’t want to play golf. When I hit a ball I want someone else to go chase it.
-Rogers Hornsby One reason I don’t drink is that I want to know when I am having a good time.
-Lady Nancy Astor I don’t know the key to success, but the key to failure is trying to please everybody.
-Bill Cosby It is a profitable thing, if one is wise, to seem foolish.
-Aeschylus He’s a fool who cannot conceal his wisdom.
-Benjamin Franklin One of the advantages of being disorderly is that one is constantly making exciting discoveries.
-A.A. Milne Anything in any way beautiful derives its beauty from itself, and asks nothing beyond itself. Praise is no part of it, for nothing is made worse or better by praise.
-Marcus Aurelius Conceal a flaw, and the world will imagine the worst.
-Martial “Too late.”
-Douglas MacArthur’s axiom that all military disasters are explained by two words But it is better to fail in originality than to succeed in imitation.
-Herman Melville The best way I know to win an argument is to start by being in the right.
-Lord Hailshan The first Indian to hear a train thought it sounded like a tornado.
-Unknown Ambition is a poor excuse for not having enough sense to be lazy.
-Steven Wright My mechanic told me, “I couldn’t repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder.”
-Steven Wright If there is no struggle there is no progress.
-Frederick Douglass The man who doesn’t know what the universe is doesn’t know where he lives.
-Marcus Aurelius "I wouldn't call it fascism exactly, but a political system nominally controlled by an irresponsible, dumbed down electorate who are manipulated by dishonest, cynical, controlled mass media that dispense the propaganda of a corrupt political establishment can hardly be described as democracy either."
--Edward Zehr The scientist does not study nature because it is useful; he studies it because he delights in it, and he delights in it because it is beautiful. If nature were not beautiful, it would not be worth knowing, and if nature were not worth knowing, life would not be worth living.
-Henry Poincaré Pride is an established conviction of one’s own paramount worth in some particular respect; while vanity is the desire of rousing such a conviction in others. Pride works from within; it is the direct appreciation of oneself. Vanity is the desire to arrive at this appreciation indirectly, from without.
-Arthur Schopenhauer Do not free a camel of the burden of his hump: you may be freeing him from being a camel.
-Gilbert Keith Chesterton I always find it intriguing when people who advocate sucking the brains out of innocent babies claim the high moral ground.
--Michael M. Bates Keep away from people who try to belittle your ambitions. Small people always do that, but the really great make you feel that you, too, can become great.
-Mark Twain Thunder is good, thunder is impressive, but it is lightning that does the work.
-Mark Twain There is perhaps no phenomenon which contains so much destructive feeling as moral indignation, which permits envy or hate to be acted out under the guise of virtue.
-Erich Fromm "With anything that comes across my desk, if I pray about it and ask for the Lord's direction, he's going to work those situations for his glory. It will be for the best, and it will succeed. Maybe not the success the world would see, but success in his eyes."
– Tony Dungy, NFL Coach, Indianapolis Colts Not what I have, but what I do is my kingdom.
-Thomas Carlyle Pain is inevitable. Suffering is optional.
-M. Kathleen Casey If you can’t answer a man’s argument, all is not lost; you can still call him vile names.
-Elbert Hubbard Several months ago, out of the blue, a company named “Cingular” started sending me bills. I had never heard of Cingular, and I honestly did not know what these bills were for, so I put them in the pile where I keep documents that I intend to scrutinize more carefully later on, after my death. Then I started seeing TV commercials for Cingular, but of course they did not make it clear what Cingular is, because the First Rule of Modern Advertising is: “Never reveal what you are advertising.”
-Dave Barry ...each new generation born is in effect an invasion of civilization by little barbarians, who must be civilized before it is too late.
-Thomas Sowell Think like a man of action, act like a man of thought.
-Henri Louis Bergson To be what we are, and to become what we are capable of becoming, is the only end in life.
-Robert Louis Stevenson But my point is that competitive eating is a real sport, and I considered taking it up. But when I thought about what this would mean—sitting around for hours, stuffing my face with unhealthy food—I realized it was basically the same thing as journalism.
-Dave Barry Dignity does not consist of possessing honors, but in deserving them.
-Aristotle Climate is what we expect, weather is what we get.
-Mark Twain Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.
-Oscar Wilde "One cannot but ponder the question: What if the Arabs had been Christians? To me it seems certain that the fatalistic teachings of Mohammed and the utter degradation of women is the outstanding cause for the arrested development of the Arab. He is exactly as he was around the year 700, while we have kept on developing. Here, I think, is some text for an eloquent sermon on the virtues of Christianity."
-- General George S. Patton, Jr. "How dreadful are the curses which Mohammedanism lays on its votaries! Besides the fanatical frenzy, which is as dangerous in a man as hydrophobia in a dog, there is this fearful fatalistic apathy. Improvident habits, slovenly systems of agriculture, sluggish methods of commerce, and insecurity of property exist wherever the followers of the Prophet rule or live. A degraded sensualism deprives this life of its grace and refinement; the next of its dignity and sanctity. The fact that in Mohammedan law every woman must belong to some man as his absolute property - either as a child, a wife, or a concubine - must delay the final extinction of slavery until the faith of Islam has ceased to be a great power among men. "Individual Moslems may show splendid qualities. Thousands become the brave and loyal soldiers of the Queen: all know how to die. But the influence of the religion paralyses the social development of those who follow it. No stronger retrograde force exists in the world. Far from being moribund, Mohammedanism is a militant and proselytising faith. It has already spread throughout Central Africa, raising fearless warriors at every step; and were it not that Christianity is sheltered in the strong arms of science - the science against which it had vainly struggled - the civilisation of modern Europe might fall, as fell the civilisation of ancient Rome."
-- Winston Churchill "France has neither winter nor summer nor morals. Apart from these drawbacks it is a fine country. France has usually been governed by prostitutes."
—Mark Twain "I would rather have a German division in front of me than a French one behind me."
—General George S. Patton "Going to war without France is like going deer hunting without your accordion." —
Norman Schwartzkopf "We can stand here like the French, or we can do something about it."
—Marge Simpson "As far as I'm concerned, war always means failure."
—Jacques Chirac, President of France "As far as France is concerned, you're right."
—Rush Limbaugh "The only time France wants us to go to war is when the German Army is sitting in Paris sipping coffee."
—Regis Philbin "You know, the French remind me a little bit of an aging actress of the 1940s who was still trying to dine out on her looks but doesn't have the face for it."
—John McCain, U.S. Senator from Arizona "They've taken their own precautions against Al Qaeda. To prepare for an attack, each Frenchman is urged to keep duct tape, a white flag, and a three-day supply of mistresses in the house."
—Argus Hamilton "The last time the French asked for 'more proof,' it came marching into Paris under a German flag."
—David Letterman Courage is not the absence of fear, but rather the judgment that something else is more important than fear.
--Ambrose Redmoon "Feminism is The Ladies Auxilliary of Socialism."
--quoted by Freeper An American In Dairyland "The American people will never knowingly adopt socialism, but under the name of liberalism they will adopt every fragment of the socialist program until one day America will be a socialist nation without ever knowing how it happened."
--Norman Thomas, six-time Socialist Party presidential candidate and one of the founders of the ACLU “There are only two places where socialism can work; Heaven, where it is not needed, and Hell, where they already have it,”
--Winston Churchill "In war, there are usually only two exit strategies: victory or defeat."
--Mark Steyn "No matter what side of the argument you are on, you always find people on your side that you wish were on the other."
--Jascha Heifetz "If happiness truly consisted in physical ease and freedom from care, the happiest individual would not be either a man or a woman; but an American cow."
--William Lyon Phelps " "I hate newspapermen. They come into camp and pick up their camp rumors and print them as facts. I regard them as spies, which, in truth, they are. If I killed them all there would be news from Hell before breakfast."
--William Tecumseh Sherman There is no distance on this earth as far away as yesterday."
--Robert Nathan "I don't paint things. I only paint the difference between things."
--Henri Matisse "Men often make up in wrath what they want in reason."
--William Rounseville Alger "The past is a foreign country; they do things differently there."
--L.P. Hartley "Those who stand outside all judgements of value cannot have any ground for preferring one of their own impulses to another except the emotional strength of that impulse."
- C.S. Lewis "While the United States shuts her gates to foreigners, no attempt whatever is made to discourage the rapid multiplication of undesirable aliens - and natives - within our own borders. On the contrary, the United States deliberately encourages, and even makes necessary by its laws, the breeding, with a breakneck rapidity, of idiots, defectives, diseased, feeble-minded and criminal classes. The American public is heavily taxed to maintain an increasing race of morons which threatens the very foundation of our civilization."
---Margaret Sanger, founder of Planned Parenthood
"You don't have a soul. You are a soul. You have a body."
- C.S. Lewis "Sorry but religion isn't a protectionist cartel. If your religion can't survive in the marketplace of ideas, too bad."
---Freeper wideawake. "What in the world is a moderate judge? What is a moderate interpretation of the Constitution? Halfway between what it really says and what you'd like it to say."
-Justice Antonin Scalia “Socialist economics, critical theory, and progressive loyalties have produced the worst atrocities, the most horrific suffering, the most crushing oppression, and the greatest misery in all human history. But not for a moment…since the fall of the Berlin Wall, has the Left begun to face its failure, or confront its deeds. It has simply moved to another trench in its permanent war against the West…it has degenerated from a Stalinist universalism to a neo-fascist tribalism, which is what multiculturalism is really about.”
--David Horowitz
"In the first place we should insist that if the immigrant who comes here in good faith becomes an American and assimilates himself to us, he shall be treated on an exact equality with everyone else, for it is an outrage to discriminate against any such man because of creed, or birthplace, or origin. But this is predicated upon the man's becoming in very fact an American, and nothing but an American...There can be no divided allegiance here. Any man who says he is an American, but something else also, isn't an American at all. We have room for but one flag, the American flag, and this excludes the red flag, which symbolizes all wars against liberty and civilization, just as much as it excludes any foreign flag of a nation to which we are hostile...We have room for but one language here, and that is the English language...and we have room for but one sole loyalty and that is a loyalty to the American people."
--Theodore Roosevelt 1907 "Many Mexicans are nourishing the ground in the U.S., but those lands were once ours. Those same lands, which now with intelligence, with love and with a lot of work, we are re-conquering again for our Mexico."
--Gloria Ramirez Vargas (Baja California politician) speaking at May Day illegal immigrant rally 5/1/2005 "People think I'm an intellectual because I wear glasses and they think I'm an artist because my films lose money."
--Woody Allen "Power concedes nothing without a demand. It never did and it never will..."
--Frederick Douglass "The Muslims have the will but lack the means to destroy us. We have the means but lack the will to destroy them."
--Benjamin Netanyahu "Have the courage to have your wisdom regarded as stupidity. Be 'fools' for Christ. And have the courage to suffer the contempt of the sophisticated world."
-Justice Antonin Scalia “A father's words are like a thermostat that sets the temperature in the house”
- Paul Lewis “American institutions rest solely on good citizenship. They were created by people who had a background of self-government. New arrivals should be limited to our capacity to absorb them into the ranks of good citizenship. America must be kept American. For this purpose it is necessary to continue a policy of restricted immigration. It would be well to make such immigration of a selective nature with some inspection at the source, and based either on a prior census or upon the record of naturalization. Either method would insure the admission of those with the largest capacity and best intention of becoming citizens… Those who do not want to be partakers of the American spirit ought not to settle in America.”
- Calvin Coolidge “Collecting more taxes than is absolutely necessary is legalized robbery.”
- Calvin Coolidge “The way to stop discrimination on the basis of race is to stop discriminating on the basis of race.”
- Supreme Court Chief Justice John Roberts “The time will come when men such as I will look upon the murder of animals as they now look on the murder of men.”
- Leonardo da Vinci “I am in favor of animal rights as well as human rights. That is the way of a whole human being.”
- Abraham Lincoln “Non-violence leads to the highest ethics, which is the goal of all evolution. Until we stop harming all other living beings, we are still savages.”
- Thomas Edison “I am not interested to know whether vivisection produces results that are profitable to the human race or doesn’t...The pain which it inflicts upon unconsenting animals is the basis of my enmity toward it, and it is to me sufficient justification of the enmity without looking further.”
- Mark Twain “What I think about vivisection is that if people admit that they have the right to take or endanger the life of living beings for the benefit of many, there will be no limit to their cruelty.”
- Leo Tolstoy "One of the things we were asked to look into was what accounted for the success, in fact, the pre-eminence of the West all over the world . . . but in the past twenty years, we have realized that the heart of your culture is your religion: Christianity. That is why the West has been so powerful. The Christian moral foundation of social and cultural life was what made possible the emergence of capitalism and then the successful transition to democratic politics. We don’t have any doubt about this.”
Sun Tzu "Art of Use of Religion in War" "Freedom is never more than one generation away from extinction. We didn't pass it to our children in the bloodstream. It must be fought for, protected, and handed on for them to do the same, or one day we will spend our sunset years telling our children and our children's children what it was once like in the United States where men were free."
-- Ronald Reagan "You can fool too many of the people too much of the time."
- James Thurber “The problem with socialism is that you eventually run out of other people’s money.”
- Margaret Thatcher “Give me four years to teach the children and the seed I have sown will never be uprooted.”
—Vladimir Ilyich Lenin “Education is a weapon, whose effect depends on who holds it in his hands and at whom it is aimed.”
—Josef Stalin “The education of all children, from the moment that they can get along without a mother’s care, shall be in state institutions at state expense.”
—Karl Marx "I don't want to not live because of my fear of what could happen."
--Laird Hamilton, big wave surfer “I consider the foundation of the Constitution as laid on this ground that ‘all powers not delegated to the United States, by the Constitution, nor prohibited by it to the states, are reserved to the states or to the people.’ To take a single step beyond the boundaries thus specially drawn around the powers of Congress, is to take possession of a boundless field of power, not longer susceptible of any definition.”
—Thomas Jefferson, 1791 "Nothing gives a person so much advantage over another as to remain always cool and unruffled under all circumstances."
- Thomas Jefferson
"How strangely will the tools of a tyrant pervert the plain meaning of words."
- Samuel Adams
"Action is a great restorer and builder of confidence. Inaction is not only the result, but the cause, of fear."
- Norman Vincent Peale “Did you really think we want those laws observed?" said Dr. Ferris. "We want them to be broken. You'd better get it straight that it's not a bunch of boy scouts you're up against... We're after power and we mean it... There's no way to rule innocent men. The only power any government has is the power to crack down on criminals. Well, when there aren't enough criminals one makes them. One declares so many things to be a crime that it becomes impossible for men to live without breaking laws. Who wants a nation of law-abiding citizens? What's there in that for anyone? But just pass the kind of laws that can neither be observed nor enforced or objectively interpreted – and you create a nation of law-breakers – and then you cash in on guilt. Now that's the system, Mr. Reardon, that's the game, and once you understand it, you'll be much easier to deal with.”
― Ayn Rand, Atlas Shrugged "You can out-distance that which is running after you, but not what is running inside you."
- Rwandan proverb "A long habit of not thinking a thing wrong, gives it a superficial appearance of being right."
- Thomas Paine "How much time he saves who does not look to see what his neighbor says or does or thinks."
- Marcus Aurelius "I am more afraid of an army of 100 sheep led by a lion than an army of 100 lions led by a sheep."
- Charles Maurice de Talleyrand-Perigord "I am always ready to learn, although I do not always like being taught."
- Winston Churchill "In nature there are neither rewards nor punishments -- there are consequences."
- Robert Ingersoll "Three grand essentials to happiness in this life are something to do, something to love, and something to hope for."
- Joseph Addison Those who neglect the Lord soon spin out of control as the devil moves in and takes over. Such a person has a devastated self-image. His or her feelings and thoughts cannot be curbed, and their tongue wags and moves under the power of bitterness and anger.
-David Wilkerson "Love all, trust a few, do wrong to none."
- William Shakespeare "Life can only be understood backwards; but it must be lived forwards."
-- Søren Kierkegaard "Life is long to the miserable, but short to the happy."
- Publilius Syrus "The world doesn't care how many times you fall down, as long as it's one fewer than the number of times you get back up."
- Aaron Sorkin "All of humanity's problems stem from man's inability to sit quietly in a room alone."
- Blaise Pascal 'First, he is terribly afraid of dying because he hasn't yet lived.'
--Franz Kafka from "The Metamorphosis" " "I am not a product of my circumstances. I am a product of my decisions."
- Stephen Covey "Criticism may not be agreeable, but it is necessary. It fulfills the same function as pain in the human body; it calls attention to the development of an unhealthy state of things."
-Winston Churchill "For my own part I have always felt that a politician is to be judged by the animosities which he excites among his opponents. I have always set myself not merely to relish but to deserve thoroughly their censure."
- Winston Churchill “You can always count on Americans to do the right thing — after they've tried everything else.”
- Winston Churchill "Nobody ever figures out what life is all about, and it doesn't matter. Explore the world. Nearly everything is really interesting if you go into it deeply enough."
- Richard P. Feynman “Historically, the claim of consensus has been the first refuge of scoundrels; it is a way to avoid debate by claiming that the matter is already settled.”
- Michael Crichton It is an absolute outrage how so many pampered, affluent, upper-middle-class professional women chronically spout snide anti-male feminist rhetoric, while they remain completely blind to the constant labor and sacrifices going on all around them as working-class men create and maintain the fabulous infrastructure that makes modern life possible in the Western world. Only a tiny number of women want to enter the trades where most of the nitty-gritty physical work is actually going on—plumbing, electricity, construction. Women have played virtually no role in the erection of those magnificent towers in every major city in the world. It’s men who operate the cranes or set the foundations or wash windows on the 85th floor. It’s men who troop out at 2:00 AM during an ice storm to restore power to neighborhoods where falling trees have brought down live wires. It’s men who mix the stinking, toxic cauldrons to spread steaming hot tar on city roofs. Last year in a nearby town, I drove by a huge, chaotic scene where emergency workers in hazmat suits were struggling with a giant pipe break, as raw sewage was pouring into the street. Of course all those workers up to their knees in a torrent of thick brown water were men! I’ve seen figures indicating that 92 per cent of people killed on the job are men—and it’s precisely because men are heroically doing most of the dangerous jobs in modern society.
- Camille Paglia Ah the Luftwaffe. The Washington Generals of the History Channel."
- Homer J Simpson
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