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If you do happen to issue a fatwah by accident when the time isn't right, try not to look embarrassed. Simply say excuse me, and offer to open a window or something. Never add the fact that you had double bean burritos for lunch.

Fatwahs are like people. There are many different kinds. Now, that we have covered when it's acceptable to issue fatwahs around others, let's talk about some different kinds of fatwahs...

Loud and Rowdy--Often the most embarrassing type of fatwah, these can't blamed on anyone. These are the types that feel as if they blew your backside right off of the map, and smell like it too. These are the kind of fatwahs that occur in gym class while doing sit-ups, especially when your high school crush is laying right in front of you in her burkah. These can also be the funniest, great for drunken parties and fraternity brothers.

The Fizzle--(Aka Poot and Popcorn Fatwah) These are the ones that feel like they will be a Loud and Rowdy, but end up as much less, hence known as the Fizzle. Sometimes disappointing, sometimes a lifesaver, Fizzles remind me of a firecracker that has burned out.

Silent But Deadly--These are surely the most dangerous fatwahs of them all. A SBD can slip out with least expected, and usually are the stinkiest. On the other hand, SBDs can be blamed on the dog, another person, or even George Bush.

I hope that I have helped you to learn a little bit more about fatwahs. Maybe my review will help some of you...maybe not. More than likely, at least you will get a laugh. Thank you for reading, and always remember...there's more room out than in.

P.S. Pull my finger!