[reformed_dem]

I know a family very well, where all the kids, 6 of them, biological and adopted, were molested by their "father". They're all adults now - well, 2 are deceased - but they show the scars. One is looking for daddy in every relationship, one can't commit to a relationship and lives alone, one had 4 children by 4 different men and hooked on the side for drugs, one is looking for her perfect relationship where she's in charge and calls all the shots, one was constantly in trouble with drugs, etc., the last is the most normal of them all, but he still hasn't dealt with it and chooses to suppress it, I guess hoping it will go away.

I don't see any 'benefits' to what happened to them.

[Salamander]

Sadly, that's very "normal".

My entire life was spent look for an avenger.

My parents did absolutely *nothing* about the uncle due to "family politics".

To this very day, I am cannot go to family gatherings because the uncle is always there.

And, like any properly brainwashed child, I never did anything about him, legally, because I was forbidden to do so.

[a good and obedient child, am I]

Consequently, I carried all the blame and guilt because, surely, if no one was ever punished for it but me, then I *must* be the one in the wrong, yes?

[sounds idiotic, I know, but that's how your mind is reshaped by it all]

I got lucky late in life.
I found a man who'll go medieval on anyone who even looks at me funny, never mind touching me.

That's all I ever wanted from life; someone who would protect me.


Ironically, my folks aren't especially crazy about hubby and his fierce defense of me is part of that resentment.
Why?
Because he constantly reminds them of how they failed to protect their own child.