Britain: Bird Flu Is Deadly H5N1 Strain

LONDON - The British government said Sunday that a strain of bird flu that killed a parrot in quarantine is the deadly H5N1 strain that has plagued Asia and recently spread to Europe. ADVERTISEMENT

Scientists determined that the parrot, imported from South America, died of the strain of avian flu that has devastated poultry stocks and killed 61 people in Asia the past two years, according to the Department for Environment, Food and Rural Affairs.

The virus is spread by migrating wild birds and has recently been found in birds in Russia, Turkey and Romania, spurring efforts around the globe to contain its spread.

While H5N1 is easily transmitted between birds, it is hard for humans to contract. But experts fear it could mutate into a form of flu that is easily transmitted between humans and cause a pandemic that could kill millions.

Debby Reynolds, DEFRA's chief veterinarian, said the parrot was likely infected with the virus while it was housed in the country's quarantine system with birds from Taiwan. Tests conducted on the Taiwanese birds that had died were inconclusive, according to the department.

DEFRA said the virus was most closely matched to a strain found in ducks in China earlier this year but was not very similar to strains discovered in Romania and Turkey. The genetic makeup of the virus changes slightly as it spreads, and scientists use such tests to track its migration across the world.

Elsewhere, the Croatian government on Sunday promised to compensate villagers and farmers whose birds were slaughtered to prevent the spread of bird flu. About 10,000 domestic birds have been killed in an area near a national park where six swans were found to have been infected with the virus.

Damage from the culling was estimated at about $160,000. However, international bans on Croatian poultry exports could hurt farmers more. The European Commission on Friday said it was preparing a ban on all poultry imports from the country, while some individual European nations have already done so.

Medical experts detected the H5 virus in the swans Friday. Samples from the contaminated birds were then sent to a laboratory in Britain to establish whether they had the deadly H5N1 strain. Tests were also being done on samples from five other swans found dead Saturday morning near the park.

_Sweden said four ducks found dead in an area west of Stockholm Friday were infected with bird flu, but not the deadly H5N1 strain.

_Montenegro began testing its poultry for bird flu as a precaution after the disease was confirmed in neighboring Croatia. Montenegro and Bosnia-Herzegovina also ordered cars to be disinfected at the Croatian border, and banned poultry imports from the country.

_The European Union said its bird flu experts will discuss a possible ban on imports of wild birds into the 25-nation bloc on Tuesday. The EU has so far resisted calls to ban all pet bird imports, fearing it could create a black market that could increase the threat of infected birds being smuggled in.

_Jordan and Israel agreed to limited cooperation to combat the possible spread of bird flu by monitoring people traveling across their shared border, the official Petra news agency reported. Neither country has had any cases of the virus.

_North Korea has launched a nationwide campaign to prevent a fresh outbreak of bird flu, strengthening quarantine and reporting systems and enhancing education of poultry farmers, a media report said. Earlier this year, North Korea culled about 210,000 chickens and other poultry after acknowledging its first bird flu outbreak in March. No new cases have since been reported.

The Pet Shop (Dead Parrot) Sketch

This sketch appeared originally in Monty Python's Flying Circus, Series 1, Show 9, "Full Frontal Nudity." We have made some changes to reflect later performances and also a few just for fun. Enjoy.

The Cast

MR. PRALINE: John Cleese
PET SHOP OWNER: Michael Palin
RAILWAY ATTENDANT: Terry Jones

(A perfectly ordinary pet shop. A tall customer in a hideous top-buttoned pacamac, bird cage [and bird] in hand, enters. This is Mr. Praline.)

Mr. Praline : 'Ello. I wish to register a complaint.

(The owner has his back to the register and does not respond.)

Mr. Praline : 'Ello, Miss?

Owner : (turning around, very angry) What do you mean, "miss"?

Mr. Praline : I'm sorry, I have a cold.

(The owner nods, understanding.)

Mr. Praline : I wish to make a complaint!

Owner : (hurriedly) Sorry, we're closin' for lunch...!

Mr. Praline : Never mind that, my lad. I wish to complain about this parrot, what I purchased not half an hour ago from this very boutique.

Owner : Oh yes, the, ah, the Norwegian Blue... What's, ah... W-what's wrong with it?

Mr. Praline : I'll tell you what's wrong with it, my lad. It's dead, that's what's wrong with it.

Owner : No, no, 'e's ah... he's resting.

Mr. Praline : Look, matey, I know a dead parrot when I see one, and I'm looking at one right now.

Owner : No no, h-he's not dead, he's, he's restin'!

Mr. Praline : Restin'?

Owner : Y-yeah, restin.' Remarkable bird, the Norwegian Blue, isn't it, eh? Beautiful plumage!

Mr. Praline : The plumage don't enter into it. It's stone dead!

Owner : Nononono, no, no! 'E's resting!

Mr. Praline : All right then, if he's resting, I'll wake him up!

(shouting at the cage)

'Ello, Polly! Mister Polly Parrot! I've got a lovely fresh cuttle fish for you if you wake up, Mr. Polly Parrot...

(owner hits the cage)

Owner : There, he moved!

Mr. Praline : No, he didn't, that was you pushing the cage!

Owner : I never!!

Mr. Praline : Yes, you did!

Owner : I never, never....

(He pulls the parrot out of the cage and screams into its ear.)

Mr. Praline : 'ELLO POLLAAAAAAAY! POLL-EE! POLLY PARROT! WAKE UP!

(He bangs its head against the store counter, horribly hard.)

TESTIIIING! TESTIIIING! THIS IS YOUR NINE-O' CLOCK ALARM CALL!

(He does it again, harder.)

POLL-EEEEEEE!

(He tosses it up in the air and watches it plummet to the floor. Longish pause.)

Now that's what I call a dead parrot.

Owner : No, no.... No, he's stunned.

Mr. Praline : STUNNED?

Owner : Yeah! You stunned him, just as he was wakin' up! Norwegian Blues stun easily, major.

Mr. Praline : Look my lad, I've had just about enough of this. That parrot is definitely deceased, and when I bought it not half an hour ago, you assured me that its total lack of movement was due to it being tired and shagged out after a long squawk.

Owner : Well, he's... he's, ah... probably pining for the fjords.

(Praline looks angrily back and forth, stuttering.)

Mr. Praline : PININ' for the FJORDS? What kind of talk is that? Look, why did he fall flat on his back the moment I got 'im home?

Owner : The Norwegian Blue prefers kippin' on its back! Remarkable bird, isn't it, guv, eh? Lovely plumage!

Mr. Praline : (coldly) Look, I took the liberty of examining that parrot when I got it home, and I discovered the only reason that it had been sitting on its perch in the first place was that it had been NAILED there.

(pause)

Owner : Well, of course it was nailed there! If I hadn't nailed that bird down, it would have nuzzled up to those bars, bent 'em apart with its little pecker, and VOOM!

Mr. Praline : "VOOM?"

(Praline puts the cage down and take the parrot into his hands.)

Mr. Praline : Look matey, this parrot wouldn't "voom" if you put four thousand volts through it! It's bleedin' demised!

Owner : It's not! I-It's pining!

Mr. Praline : It's not pinin,' it's passed on! This parrot is no more! It has ceased to be! It's expired and gone to meet its maker! This is a late parrot! It's a stiff! Bereft of life, it rests in peace! If you hadn't nailed him to the perch he would be pushing up the daisies! Its metabolical processes are of interest only to historians! It's hopped the twig! It's shuffled off this mortal coil! It's run down the curtain and joined the choir invisible! This.... is an EX-PARROT!

(pause)

Owner : Well, I'd better replace it, then.

(He disappears behind the counter.)

Mr. Praline : (turning to camera) If you want to get anything done in this country you've got to complain 'til you're blue in the mouth.

(The owner returns.)

Owner : Sorry guv, we're fresh out of parrots.

Mr. Praline : I see. I see, I get the picture.

Owner : (quietly) I-I've got a slug.

(pause)

Mr. Praline : (sweet as sugar) Does it talk?

Owner : Not really, no.

Mr. Praline : Well, it's SCARCELY A BLOODY REPLACEMENT then, IS IT?

Owner : Listen, I'll tell you what, tell you what, if you go to my brother's pet shop in Bolton, he'll replace your parrot for you.

Mr. Praline : Bolton, eh?

Owner : Yeah.

Mr. Praline : All right.

(He leaves.)

(CAPTION: "A SIMILAR PET SHOP IN BOLTON, LANCASHIRE")

(The customer enters a very similar pet shop, with a sign on the front reading "Similar Pet Shops, Ltd." The owner, who looks similar to his brother, is putting on a large false moustache in order to better distinguish himself from his brother. Which he isn't. Praline looks about and finds it to be very similar indeed. And when he finds his same bird cage, with the same dead bird inside, that just about clinches it.)

Mr. Praline : Uh, excuse me, this is Bolton, is it?

Owner : (with the fake mustache) No, it's Ipswitch.

Mr. Praline : (looking at the camera) That's inter-city rail for you.

(Mr Praline goes to the train station. He addresses a man standing behind a desk marked "Complaints.")

Mr. Praline : I wish to make a complaint.

Attendant : I don't have to do this, you know!

Mr. Praline : I beg your pardon...?

Attendant : I'm a qualified brain surgeon! I only do this 'cause I like being my own boss!

Mr. Praline : Excuse me, this is irrelevant, isn't it?

Attendant : Oh yeah, well, most transcripts woulda stopped at the slug line.

Mr. Praline : Leave it to PythoNET, eh?

Attendant : Yeah, yeah.

Mr. Praline : Well, I wish to complain! I got on the Bolton train and found myself deposited here in Ipswitch.

Attendant : No, this is Bolton.

Mr. Praline : (to the camera) The pet shop owner's brother was lying!

Attendant : Well, you can't blame British Rail for that.

Mr. Praline : If this is Bolton, I shall return to the pet shop!

(Zoom in on the bewildered attendant. Mr. Praline returns to the pet shop.)

(CAPTION: "A LITTLE WHILE LATER LIMITED")

Mr. Praline : I understand that this IS Bolton.

Owner : (still with the fake mustache) Yeah?

Mr. Praline : But you told me it was Ipswitch!

Owner : (a bit meekly) It was a pun.

Mr. Praline : A pun??

Owner : No, no ... not a pun ... What's the other thing where it reads the same backwards as forwards?

(longish pause)

Mr. Praline : A palindrome...?

Owner : Yeah, yeah.

Mr. Praline : It's not a palindrome! The palindrome of "Bolton" would be "Notlob!" It don't work!!

Owner : Well, what do you want?

Mr. Praline : No, I'm sorry! I'm not prepared to pursue my line of inquiry any longer as I think this is getting too silly!

Owner : Silly, sir?

Mr. Praline : And take off that moustache!

Owner : (taking off moustache) Silly, sir?

Mr. Praline : Yes, silly! I've come in here with a perfectly legitimate complaint and you have done everything in your power to turn my afternoon into a comedy of errors! This, therefore, is silly!

(He slams his parrot down on the counter to illustrate the point.)

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