[Sertorius]

booze and narcotics might affect our aim.

[George W. Bush]

booze and narcotics might affect our aim.

Hence the need for machine guns. You see, the Brady Bunch might otherwise argue we just want machine guns. This way, we need machine guns. To protect ourselves from pirates.

And we need a very high-speed cruise ship so we can chase down the pirates and hunt them like varmints. I'm picturing a cruise ship capable of 50-60 knots, bristling with machine gun nests that are manned by drunken crack-smoking redneck Americans who are getting lap-dances from strippers (when there's no pirate targets to shoot at).

Seriously, you could get a lot of people to sign up for this.