Posted on 11/18/2005 12:38:56 PM PST by freepatriot32
Rumors of my death have been greatly exaggerated.
"The rumors of my demise are greatly exaggerated"
Do'h!
Mark Martin? Is there a NASCAR ping list?
Not half as shocked as they were.
He got better.
"I'm not dead yet!"
LOL, "I think I'll go for a walk!"
"In fact, just to make things right, we've sent out a team to kill the guy".
I wonder why the family wasn't asked to identify the body?
Steinbrenner: Mrs. Costanza?
Estelle (smiling): Yesss?
Steinbrenner: My name is George Steinbrenner, I'm afraid I have some very sad new about your son.
(Costanza living room)
Estelle (crying): I can't believe it, he was so young. How could this have happened?
Steinbrenner: Well, he'd been logging some pretty heavy hours, first one in in the morning, last one to leave at night. That kid was a human dynamo.
Estelle: Are you sure you're talking about George?
Steinbrenner: You are Mr. and Mrs. Costanza?
Frank (yelling): What the hell did you trade Jay Buhner for?!? He had 30 home runs, over 100 RBIs last year, he's got a rocket for an arm, you don't know what the hell you're doin'!!
Steinbrenner: Well, Buener was a good prospect, no question about it. But my baseball people love Ken Phelps' bat. They kept saying 'Ken Phelps , Ken Phelps'.
I find it surprising that a group of young people was reading a newspaper. I pretty much thought the demographic for that was over 50 these days.
He was crazy. The phone was unhooked the whole time.
THEY URINATE IN THERE!!
I bet. My hubby's brother died recently and we were trying to track down his brother's son, who had moved out of state years ago and had not had contact with his dad in over 10 years. We left a message on his ex-mother-in-law's phone in FL (hubby remembered her name), asking if she knew where he could be located. A couple of days later, hubby was sound asleep when the phone rang. He picked it up and heard what he thought was his brother's voice on the other end, but it was the son. Nearly gave hubby a heart attack.
LOL! Almost forgot:
Frank (from the answering machine): Jerry, it's Frank Costanza, Mr. Steinbrenner is here, George is dead, call me back!
(The phone rings again)
Jerry (answering phone): Hello?
George (other end of phone): Hey, it's George.
Jerry: Where have you been?!?
George: What?
Jerry: I just got the most bizarre message from you father,
Steinbrenner is at you house, they think you're dead!
George: Dead?
Jerry: Yeah, and we had an accident with your car, it's a little crumpled.
George: My car is a little crumpled?!?
Jerry: Yeah, yeah, I didn't know what to do so I put it back at the stadium. Oh, wait a second, wait a second, they saw the car, they saw the blood, they couldn't find ya, and now that's why Steinbrenner thinks you're dead!
George: Okay, I gotta head back right away, I'll -- I gotta figure something out here.
Jerry: Well you gotta call your parents.
George: I can't, Steinbrenner might still be there!
Jerry: Aren't you gonna tell your parents you're still alive?
George: Nnnooo! They could use the break!
Oh man, that was evil. :-D
LOL!!!
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