Posted on 11/23/2005 6:46:35 AM PST by NormsRevenge
BOSTON - Sen. John Kerry's public profile and prosecutorial past didn't spare him from performing that most mundane of civic responsibilities — jury duty.
Kerry was not only chosen this week to sit on a jury in Suffolk Superior Court, but also was elected foreman.
The case involved two men who sued the city for injuries suffered in a 2000 car accident involving a school principal. The Kerry-led jury rejected their claim Tuesday, and his fellow jurors said the state's junior senator was a natural leader.
"I just found him to be a knowledgeable, normal person," said Cynthia Lovell, a nurse and registered Republican who says she now regrets voting for President Bush in last year's election. "He kept us focused. He wanted us all to have our own say."
The former Democratic presidential candidate reported for duty Monday and none of the lawyers in the case objected to putting him on the jury.
"I was a little surprised," Kerry said of being selected for jury duty.
"I enjoyed it," he said. "It was very, very interesting and very instructive."
If I were a lawyer I'd absolutely object, he's clearly biased against many things fundamental to the US legal process... not to mention the fact that his presence will turn the courtroom into a local media circus.
I think he bought their votes with the catered lunches.
I see he finally found his proper level of government elected office.
ta-pocketa-pocketa-pocketa-pocketa-pocketa, went the the twin engines on John kill em all kerry's boat (real heros have nick names like that). It was a dark and quiet night, John kill em all Kerry turned to his first mate and (in a quiet yet confident voice) said...."it's quiet...too quiet I don't like it.
If only we can get a bit farther up river without getting spotted we'll be able to drop off secret agent x-183".
In the blink of an eye the calm of the night was SHATTERED KAPOW KAPOW WOOOOSH BLAM BLAM the night came alive with a song of DEATH! They had sailed into a clever ambush set by Charlie (John kill em all Kerry's long time foe).
The crew strickened with fear and unable to move turned as one to the one man who had the courage, the skill, the WILL to save them.
John kill em all Kerry like a coiled spring leapped into action (That's what heros like to do in these kind of situations) with a sneer on his lips John kill em all Kerry THRUST the throttle forward and mzzz teraza (hero's like john kill em all Kerry like to have names for their boats) LEAPPED like a mighty stallion BAAATTLE STATIONS he shouted! Waking as from a dream John kill em all kerry's band of brothers charged to their stations.
BUDDA BUDDA BUDDA sang the quad 50s in a tune that sang death and destruction for Charlie and his commie stooges, BRRRRAAAAAPPPP the 60's spat out a curtain of lead, BOOOOM BOOOOM the 300mm mortars adding their song to the aria of war!
Now the dirty commies would pay for DARING to attack John killl em all Kerry and his All American band of brothes! With a ferral grin John kill em all Kerry shouted DIE COMMIE SCUM! (see hero types like John kill em all Kerry say things like that, they teach them that at hero school).
Just when it looked like one more (glorious) victory for John kill em all Kerry and his gallant band of brothers, KABOOOOM sneeky underhanded commie frogmen (and they're the worst kind) had placed a mine (the dirty rotten dastardly Khmer rouge bast*rds) on the sleak and deadly mzzz teraza! In a bat of an eyelash john kill em all Kerry knew his gallant little steed was done for,
Flinging the little mzzz teraza at the nearest nest of vipers John kill em all Kerry CHARGED straight into the muzzels of death.
Afraid? Not he, John kill em all Kerry didn't know the meaning of fear
{fear(Function): noun Etymology: Middle English fer,
from Old English f[AE]r sudden danger; akin to Latin
periculum attempt, peril, Greek peiran to attempt
Date: 12th century
1 a : an unpleasant often strong emotion caused by
anticipation or awareness of danger
b (1) : an instance of this emotion
(2) : a state marked by this emotion
2 : anxious concern :
SOLICITUDE
3 : profound reverence and awe especially toward God
4 : reason for alarm : DANGER synonyms FEAR, DREAD, FRIGHT, ALARM, PANIC, TERROR, TREPIDATION mean painful agitation in the presence or anticipation of danger. FEAR is the most general term and implies anxiety and usually loss of courage .
DREAD usually adds the idea of intense reluctance to face or meet a person or situation and suggests aversion as well as anxiety .
FRIGHT implies the shock of sudden, startling fear .
ALARM suggests a sudden and intense awareness of immediate danger .
PANIC implies unreasoning and overmastering fear causing hysterical activity .
TERROR implies the most extreme degree of fear.
TREPIDATION adds to DREAD the implications of timidity, trembling, and hesitation.}
The mortally wounded boat rammed into the den of inequity, and leapping from the galllant but doomed craft a 50cal in his right hand his (trusty) M-16 in his left a 5in. cannon strapped to his back John kill em all Kerry LEAPPED into the very heart of the enemy AAAAHHHHHH he cried all the while dealing death to the left and right (hero types do stuff like that all the time, that's why they're hero types)
The (dirty) commies quaked in fear at this (magnificent specimen) All American hero type in a blood lust cried "It's kill em all Kerry! Please don't kill us, John kill em all Kerry would have none of that! Not after their dastardly attack and mortal wounding of his (beloved) mzzz teraza, DIE YOU DIRTY COMMIE RATS, I'LL TEACH YOU TO MESS WITH MASSACHUSETTS!
And oh the carnage the ensued, So terrible was his (awesome but sensitive) wrath that soon after those above him (being jealous of his superior combat skills and the love his band of brothers had for him) sent him back to the good old US of A.
Gosh if Cynthia's vote had changed for that election then MA would have been a
blue state rather than a re--blu.... nevermind.
Why is it that there are so many "registered Republicans" who regret voting for Bush, are disappointed with the GOP etc, but whenever the records are checked ...
John Kerry.... the haughty, French-looking Massachusetts Democrat, who by the way served in Vietnam?
Haha ...
Haha ...
Just Dang
LOL
great post
with link to Boston Herald article:
http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/f-news/1527230/posts
It would make for hours of debate.
"Mr. Foreperson, have your reached a verdict?"
"Yes, I have your honor. I'm John Kerry and I'm...reporting for jury duty! Before I disclose the verdict our hard-working and impartial jury reached, let me say that America doesn't know it yet, but it has created a monster. A monster who has managed to steal not one but two elections. This President misled us to war; even though we are clearly much more intelligent than he, he tricked us. As I was saying to my wife Te-ray-za at our lovely home in the Louisville Square section of Beacon Hill today; the home where we successfully got the City to move a fire hydrant;
one of our five modest homes, in such working class places as Nantucket; Fox Chapel, PA; the Georgetown area of
Washington, DC, and so on...As I was saying, as I was
telling my lovely and polite wife--"
"GET ON WITH IT!"
LOL! Great! We don't need no stinkin' Walter Mitty... we got John kill em all Kerry!
Why not, he closed his Nantucket mansion for the season, doesn't care to vote much in the Senate, and really has nothing better to do.
You just added 5 years to my life with your humor.
Thank You
too funny!!!!
ROFL~
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