[Virginia-American]

You forgot the great George Bernard Shaw's speeling of FISH:
GHOTI

It sounds presumptuous to say so, but GBS was totally illiterate (assuming it's anything more than a joke) when he came up with this. AFAIK,

"GH" is only an "f" sound at the end of a root^* word: laugh, cough, etc, or as part of "ght" at the end: draught, etc.

"TI" is only an "sh" sound in before a vowel: nation, presidential, etc.

"O" is only a short "i" sound in the word "women".

^* Meaning it retains the "f" sound before any suffices: laughing, coughs, etc.

[LexBaird]

"GH" is only an "f" sound at the end of a root* word: laugh, cough, etc, or as part of "ght" at the end: draught, etc.

Unless it isn't, as in plough, bought and nought. GBS was indeed joking.