Posted on 12/09/2005 5:35:56 PM PST by SandRat
A picture worth a thousand words:
"Matthew" is clearly an Australian engineer.
http://www.strangecosmos.com/content/item/10207.html
Just realized that last one was the same as your Take Two...
gotta get some coffee...
OK - here's one for you (I work with Petroleum Engineers)
What's the difference between an engineer and an accountant?
The accountant knows he's not an engineer.
How can you tell an engineer is an extrovert?
He looks at YOUR shoes when he talks to you.
ummmm....what's excel? and what do you do with it>?
I'd say network's down, I'm going weldinng!!
they do the docket calendar in excel I THINK. i have never used it in my life.
roflmao!
God and the Devil discuss an Engineer
Although locked in fierce competition for what seems like forever, God and the Devil meet once every week for coffee just to catch up with each other.
One week they're in heaven and the next they're in hell.
When it was God's turn to host, the Devil was whistling a happy tune as he walked through the gates and wore a huge smile as he plopped down in the golden chair. God poured a cup and said, "You look pretty pleased with yourself."
"Yeah," said the Devil, "Things are really looking up since I got that engineer last week. He's put in escalators and flush toilets, and he even found a way to control the heat in those old furnaces. I've been meaning to thank you for turning him away up here."
God looked stunned, and almost spilled coffee into the saucer. "You know that you're not supposed to get any engineers,". "Um... Peter was breaking in some new help at the gates last week, and they must have made a mistake. Just send him back up and we'll straighten it out."
But the Devil just chuckled and said, "No. I think I'll keep him. He was talking about looking into better ventilation this week. I can see why you keep them all for yourself."
"Send him back," demanded God
"No," smirked the Devil.
God thundered, "Send him back, or..."
"Or what?" the Devil asked.
"Or I'll sue," finished God.
The Devil chuckled again. "Where are you going to get a lawyer?"
Here's a URL to download a great WAV file about engineers titled "The Knack"? It is pretty funny.
http://home.pcisys.net/~tbc/hacks/knack.htm
very cute ! : )
Arrrgh - beat me to it by 2 minutes! GRIN
Serves me right for drinking beer while replying to a thread. Slows me up...
Good taste in jokes, though...
Correction - 16 minutes.
The ability to subtract two numbers is always the second thing to go.
My second favorite...
It seems the US Federal Aviation Administration has a unique device for testing the strength of windshields on airplanes. The device is a gun that launches a dead chicken at a plane's windshield at approximately the speed the plane flies. The theory is that if the windshield doesn't crack from the carcass impact, it'll survive a real collision with a bird during flight.
The British were very interested in this and wanted to test a windshield on a brand new, speedy locomotive they're developing. They borrowed the FAA's chicken launcher, loaded the chicken and fired. The ballistic chicken shattered the windshield, went through the engineer's chair, broke an instrument panel and embedded itself in the back wall of the engine cab.
The stunned Brits asked the FAA to recheck the test to see if everything was done correctly. The FAA reviewed the test thoroughly and had only one recommendation:
"Use a thawed chicken."
That's because you're probably drinking from a narrow necked bottle.
I use a mug. Higher flow rate.
I posted between gulps. :-)
I don't have a joke - but a pretty revealing anecdote. During my sophomore year at MIT as an Aero & Astro student, I interviewed for a summer job in the Physics Department. The professor described his neck-and-neck race with the Dutch on proving you could make helium into a Superfluid - they'd already done it with hydrogen. After a long explanation of his experimental apparatus and the process, he asked me if I had any questions.
I said "Yeah...what can you DO with a Superfluid?"
He shouted "NOTHING!!", and rose halfway out of his chair while doing so.
"Uhhh...no more questions," I said. I got the job.
I remember that story. It showed up in Aviation Week & Space Technology along with with a high speed camera shot of a chicken blasted out of the cannon enroute to an F-15 windshield (canopy). The picture caption ended with the rather cryptic summary "...it did not survive."
The next issue's Letters to the Editor was packed with reader questions on whether they were talking about the chicken or the windshield.
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