Posted on 12/09/2005 5:35:56 PM PST by SandRat
Thought you might enjoy this.
Engineers - Take One:
To the optimist, the glass is half full. To the pessimist, the glass is half empty. To the engineer, the glass is twice as big as it needs to be.
Engineers - Take Two:
A pastor, a doctor and an engineer were waiting one morning for a particularly slow group of golfers. The engineer fumed, "What's with these guys? We must have been waiting for 15 minutes!" The doctor chimed in, "I don't know, but I've never seen such ineptitude!" The pastor said, "Hey, here comes the greens keeper. Let's have a word with him." "Hi George! Say, what's with that group ahead of us? They're rather slow, aren't they?" The greens keeper replied, "Oh, yes, that's a group of blind firefighters. They lost their sight saving our clubhouse from a fire last year, so we always let them play for free anytime." The group was silent for a moment. The pastor said, "That's so sad. I think I will say a special prayer for them tonight." The doctor said, "Good idea. And I'm going to contact my ophthalmologist buddy and see if there's anything he can do for them." The engineer said, "Why can't these guys play at night?"
Engineers - Take Three:
What is the difference between Mechanical Engineers and Civil Engineers? Mechanical Engineers build weapons and Civil Engineers build targets.
Engineers - Take Four:
The graduate with a Science degree asks, "Why does it work?" The graduate with an Engineering degree asks, "How does it work?" The graduate with an Accounting degree asks, "How much will it cost?" The graduate with an Arts degree asks, "Do you want fries with that?"
Engineers - Take Five:
"Normal people believe that if it ain't broke, don't fix it." Engineers believe that "if it ain't broke, it doesn't have enough features yet"
Engineers - Take Six:
An engineer was crossing a road one-day when a frog called out to him and said, "If you kiss me, I'll turn into a beautiful princess." He bent over, picked up the frog and put it in his pocket. The frog spoke up again and said, "If you kiss me and turn me back into a beautiful princess, I will stay with you for one week." The engineer took the frog out of his pocket, smiled at it and returned it to the pocket. The frog then cried out, "If you kiss me and turn me back into a princess, I'll stay with you and do ANYTHING you want." Again the engineer took the frog out, smiled at it and put it back into his pocket. Finally, the frog asked, "What is the matter? I've told you I'm a beautiful princess, and that I'll stay with you for a week and do anything you want. Why won't you kiss me?" The engineer said, "Look, I'm an engineer. I don't have time for a girlfriend, but a talking frog, now that's cool."
Everyone needs some laughs.
ping
Oh the horror...the horror....
But a talking frog is cool...
Ping my butt off!
former engineering student been there done that ping.
hehe Robt.
BTW, Happy Birthday! Did you have fun today?
Those are funny...just sent this to my civil engineer husband.
"Look, guys," he says, "I understand that there's a Bible passage somewhere that says you can't take your money with you when you die. Well, I don't care. I'm going to give each of you $25,000 in cash, and I want you to put it in my coffin at my funeral."
The funeral came and went, and the trio were having some drinks later that night, when the doctor broke down.
"Guys, I can't hold this in any longer; I didn't put the full $25,000 in the casket. I put $15,000 in the casket and donated the rest to the children's hospital."
The priest broke down next. "My hands aren't clean either. I put $10,000 in the casket and gave the rest to the orphanage."
The lawyer slammed his drink down. "I can't believe you two. I am absolutely disgusted by your dishonesty. I'll have you know that I put a check for the full amount of $25,000 in that casket!"
Sent these to my engineer turned MD husband....thanks for the giggle....
I worked with a female mechanical engineer, who, when asked why there were so few female mechanical engineers, would hold her thumb and index finger two inches apart and say: "When you have been told this is six inches, for so long, it is really hard to get the other measurements right!"
father-in-law engineer bump for later!
.
I like that joke quite a lot. As a pessimist, I see it as half spilled.
Faculty are debating the relative merits of their departments. The mathematician points out how much more economical his department is than the engineering department. "We don't need expensive labs full of equipment. Just give us pencil and paper and trashcans and we will invent something new from time to time, practically no cost". The philosopher says, "Well we only need pencil and paper."
well at least there weren't any Computer Engineering jokes in there :)
"What is the difference between Mechanical Engineers and Civil Engineers? Mechanical Engineers build weapons and Civil Engineers build targets. "
And, Aerospace Engineers (rocket and plane designers) are the matchmakers for the MechEng and CivEngs.
(I spent 4 years with roommates in each major.)
I'm looking! I'm looking!
hey now LOL
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