"Are you a woman who has never had children?"
No, I’m not. But there are other things people can say that irritate me due to a bit of bad luck on my part and I know they don’t mean any harm.
I don’t go around asking people if they have kids (I’m not really old enough to be doing that) but I see it as a normal enough question. Of course there are probably ways to get an idea of the answer (or whether it’s a good idea to ask) before coming straight out with it.
That's a smart way to approach it.
I don't so much mind the initial "Do you have kids?" question; it's the almost inevitable follow-up questions that I dread. Without realizing it, people are probing an old heartache you'd rather not have to dredge up again and again.