We went through the same thing at our house a few years back when my beloved mother in law suffered primary liver cancer. She was gone only four months after diagnosis.
She had an unrelated surgery that led to the chance discovery of her cancer, and by then it was well advanced and everybody knew there was no chance of survival and they were honest about it. We brought her home with sound advice and everything we needed to keep her comfortable for her final months. There were a lot of good times and bad times in those few months, but every time we needed something, all we had to do was pick up the phone and Sacred Heart Hospice was right over with it.
She was alert and active up to about her final week. On this very day nine years ago she died about an hour after I gave her what was to be her final dose of morphine, which she could still take by mouth and swallow on her own.
Not many would have such kind words for their mother in law, but she was a treasure and a joy to be with. We are grateful for every day we had with her, and she was grateful for every day she lived. I can only hope that when my time comes the standard of care I saw in that experience will still be preferred over a hastened death.
My Dad died from cholangiocarcinoma only four months after diagnosis. I wish that I could say that the rest of your experience was similar to mine.
He was initially relentlessly encouraged by Mayo to have "experimental" chemo; which had the predictable effect of killing him off a good two months before he would have died.
Then, our worthless "hospice" had him sign a "no extraordinary means" document...which they carefully explained would mean that he wouldn't be resuscitated. I actually asked if that meant removing hydration by I.V. They said "no."
Then, his Dr. removed the hydration anyway (without asking us)...about five days before he died; dehydrated, in excruciating pain, flailing about,....while we begged them to give him morphine and tried to "swab" his mouth with the sponge that they allowed us.
The Hospice nurse kindly explained that they had to "watch" what they gave out with "those type of drugs."
They said he died "peacefully." Cretins.
After witnessing that, upon diagnosis I would immediately find the biggest drug dealer in town...stock up; take a nice vacation; say goodbye to my family; pray...and go to sleep.
If they ever bother to come up with any type of effective treatment for such cancers, I might actually change my mind. They haven't in 30 years....I won't hold my breath.