Look,
I became sterile in my late 20's.
Then I married with the hopes of adoption.
Later, I fostered....alone.
THAT is when I really understood that--
a. Children need two loving parents.
b. Children need an mentally together, emotionally strong, stable person caring for them.
c. Children need a consistant life.
I couldn't provide all of that, and I know I never can. So I quit fostering.
End of story.
I hear ya. There's a lot of us out there who landed in the same place less by choice than by circumstance.
I came to the realization when I was nearing the end of my fertile years and kept trying to talk to DH about it and he would just stare and go "Huh?" because he was so baked he couldn't hold up his end of the conversation.
I sat myself down and said "you want a kid to have THAT as a father?". And as soon as I said that to myself I knew that either I had to either 1) leave DH or 2) get him cleaned up and then maybe reapproach the subject.
Getting him straightened out took a LONG time. I had one foot out the door for about 7 years. But I just couldn't give up on him.
He's cleaned up now, and he's the guy I knew he could be and could see even through the fog. But now my female bits have quit.
Oh well, sometimes you get the chocolates, sometimes you get the box.
I figure I did my part for God by rehabbing DH and keeping him from wasting the rest of his life.
LQ
I expect you provided your foster children with a lot more parenting, stability, and consistency than they'd had in their former homes. And no doubt some of those homes featured a married mother and father.